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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Rushing home from work...
Way back when I used to do some support work with the local police force..prior to living at the bottom of the earth. One bitterly cold winter evening while riding along on street patrol we saw the number 98 flash on the screen of our nice new radar gun. Next thing I know I have been thrown around the car as the PO does a hasty U-turn, and all nice white snow is flashing red and blue.

Eventually we catch up to the little blue salt encrusted car and it pulls over. Upon seeing the driver it is a middle aged lady looking very concerned and yelling about having to get home. After taking her information and informing her shes going to get a ticket (That was some community oriented policing for you), the officer calmed her down, and we headed back to write the citation.

After about five minutes of running her through to computer to make sure she isn't a paedophile or axe murderer, we approached the car again with the freshly written ticket only to notice all the windows had fogged up. After a knock on the window it comes down and we see a very relieved and embarassed looking middle aged lady...

then we were hit with the stentch of urine.

She was rushing home to use the toilet, and in the desperation of us stopping her she just went in her seat.

The officer destroyed the ticket after deciding that had been enough punishment.


It was cold out and im nervous about my first post...so imagine a golf pencil made of raisins.
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 0:17, 3 replies)
We'll Be Gentle
Raised a wee smile so have a click.

Cheers
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 2:18, closed)
Thankfully kind..
Many thank yous kind sir... most first times in life are not that gentle..or so I understand..
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 3:19, closed)
Oh, we'll be gentle....
...we'll shout "Surprise!!!" first.

Welcome aboard :)
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 8:53, closed)

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