Had Piggy Fun!
Well this was few years ago...

Lost my job a system developer at Siemens, didn't know what to do next, I was about 21.

I was looking around for a job, something different (I was trying to go for an apprenticeship as a Toolmaker, but had to wait for a few months) when my mother suggested to help my cousin's brother-in-laws farm.

I live in South Africa,
I can bore the living crap out of you about my life here...
Blah Blah Blah Blah!!!

My cousin's brother-in-law got a nice little farm near the Drakensberg highlands. This farm was near Mooi River, which is situated in Kwazulu-Natal to be precise.

My new job?
Contract; Farm Supervisor; 4 months; Jan to May.
To manage, look after, cultivate, fertilize, weed, whatever, for 10 hectares of cabbages!
I was promised 10% of the net profit after the end of May!
SCHWEET!!!
All I had to do was manage the casual labour, and some permanent staff, all of them were Zulus!

This is when I learnt alot about the Zulus...
Fascinating people! (too much tell BTW!)
For those who did some history, will remember about The British Empire had alot of fun with the Zulus... especially Battle of Isandlwana, ouch!
Present Day, you don't see them wear their animal skin skirts, weilding sharp spears and, sorry horny dudes, there are no topless woman these days.
Only in Shaka Land and DEEP into the Zulu rural lands will you see traditional Zulu folk (and the topless woman!).

Anyways, managing my team of "Zulu Warrior" Men and Woman was nightmare!
The Men were lazy! I kid you not, they were smoking weed most of the time! (ok, there was the odd few that were hard workers)
The Women worked harder than the Men!!!
And guess what, their children worked hardest of them all!!!!!

FOR THE RECORD:
I NEVER EMPLOYED CHILD LABOUR!!!
THEY WERE HELPING THEIR PARENTS!!!
I just gave the children some money to say "Thank you for helping you parents." (such nice children!)

Seriously, nice people.
Live a simple rural life and very content, well most of them.

It was fun!
Got fresh veggies everyday! ( Including Cabbages! )
One whole lamb everymonth! ( Which almost filled the freezer! )
Loads of pot! ( Which got me higher than pope! )
Even got to have fun with a farmer's daughter!!! ( Only to find out she was screwing my boss too! )

Before my contract expired, I had a PLAN!
My boss had a pet pig called POG.
He went away, with his family, during the easter weekend.
Asked me to look after his place, feed the dogs, cats... and POG!
POG was a sow, yep, female!
The day he went away, I took the Bukkie (it is like a small truck), went to the nearest farm and asked for the horniest boar pig available!
Course I told the other farmer my PLAN, loved it and was happy to loan a horny pig!
I dropped my horny boar near POG.
Started nudging at her tummy (to get the ovaries working!)
Kept on nudging her the whole day and tried to mount her!
3rd day he was on top of her every hour! (thats when learnt a pigs cock looked like a cork screw!)
The day my boss was coming back, I took the insane boar back into the bukkie, with the help of 15 Zulu Warriors (They were sh** scared of the pig! LOL!)

My contracted ended, went back home to the City of Johannesburg.
Got a phone call a few weeks later from my farmer ex-boss:
"WHERE DID ALL THE #$%@ING LITTLE PIGS CAME FROM, WAS IT YOU!"
I just couldn't help myself from not laughing!
But he soon too burst out laughing saying I got him, but he will get me back! (he has never got me back to this day)
That's my farm story.

Still, I wonder what happened to the little piggys? Bet you they ended up on my plate for breakfast a few months later!
Mmmmmm!
(Libratos The Tartan-Spartan, Sun 27 May 2012, 5:44, 6 replies)

Nie 'n Afrikaner dan?
+1 carbags, -1 AIDS
Oh & lost a job due to fucking over your boss who clearly didn't see the humor in you organizing to get his pet pig raped & impregnated.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 27 May 2012, 9:23, closed)

Nie... Engelsman
Nah, my ex-boss was cool about it, he has a sense of humour, he is also a prankster.
Told me the cottage that I stayed in was haunted... then he snuck in the middle night and shouted "BOO!"
Man I nearly crapped my pants.

Was only a temp job...
I had to wait for an opening at toolmaker firm, so this job was to pass the time.
he did offer a permanent job, but I would rather own a farm than work on one.

when I got home after my farming adventure, i did get my apprenticeship as a toolmaker and qualified 4 years later!
Still, got to admit, i do miss that farm life.
(Libratos The Tartan-Spartan, Sun 27 May 2012, 21:47, closed)

So many exclamation marks

(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Sun 27 May 2012, 11:09, closed)

Sorry... I was tired and had 3 litres of beer in my system.
(Libratos The Tartan-Spartan, Sun 27 May 2012, 21:49, closed)

"The Men were lazy!"
Says the manager who probably did even less work than them.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 28 May 2012, 6:14, closed)

I NEVER EMPLOYED CHILD LABOUR!!!
I just gave money to children, in exchange for them working on the farm.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 May 2012, 9:55, closed)