Festivals etc...
Reading 2000... Ate about 15 pieces of hash fudge and laughed almost continuously for 15 minutes until I almost pissed myself because of the pain. Then dedcided that the only way I could counter being that fucked was to consume 24 pro-plus tablets.
I spent the rest of the night with my mates looking for people called 'Dave', and when we found them we got them to sign our onion.
My mate Hugh cooked said onion for breakfast. Bastard.
(Biromunch, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 14:00, Reply)

Mushrooms, acid and a lot of booze at night in a certain campus near Reading
Scared the absolute shit out of all my coursemates by disappearing into the woods in the grounds for a couple of hours. They seemed to think I was going to reenact Friday 13th with them as the campers.

Didn't help that the guy in the next room heared me get back to my room by climbing through the window and then sit in the dark laughing "Like Satan" for another hour or so.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 18 Dec 2005, 13:24, Reply)

Birthday messiness
It was my 21st birthday last September and as you can imagine, i felt it was my duty to get absolutley off my rocker. I go to Leeds university, and to celebrate the occasion me and a mate (also their birthday) rented out a nearby bar called The Faversham (mainly because it was free as I work there). Started drinking at about 7 o'clock until at approximately 11 someone bought be a shot of absinthe and made me gas chamber it. For those who don't know this is where you light the absinthe in a glass and collect all the fumes in a big wine glass, blow it out, neck the shot then use a straw to inhale the fumes. From here on my memory is very sketchy.

I DON'T remember trying to suck a girls neck, missing said neck, falling over whilst dragging the girl with me and slicing my ear open on the side of a plant pot. I VAGELY remember arriving at hospital and CLEARLY remember discharging myself about half an hour later without it being treated or stiched in anyway, after being told it had a 90% chance of being infected. Apparently I did alot of swearing at a policemen whilst there.

Anyway, back to the party I go cos I want to keep drinking. The next memory I have is waking up at 11 the next morning.

I've been reliably informed that after closing time at the bar, we all went back to my mate's boyfriends house for an afterparty. I gobbled up about 5 pills and proceded to talk UTTER SHIT to everyone and everything. Such behaviour included, after being given a drink, saying "Thanks, i'm just gonna see if Harry wants some" and offering said drink to the wall, when it was Harry that gave me my drink in the first place. Also, looking at absolutely nothing at all and saying "That's a fucking lovely car that is" repeatedly.

By about 5 in the morning people decided it was time for me to leave, so Harry decided to walk me and my blood drenched hair back to the nearest available place to sleep. Apparently it took about 2 hours for me to get myself unconcious as I was still chatting to all the people at the party, depite it just being me and him there.

Took about 2 days of feeling really weird inside to recover from that party. Brilliant.

I'm not gonna make a joke about length of girth or any of that bollocks because I think it's shit.
(PenrhynGwyndaf, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 13:07, Reply)

Another one...
Me and a friend were having a smoke round his house when the lighter broke - Disaster. Being too high to walk to the shop 2 minutes away we decided to light some kitchen roll off the cooker and use that instead. This went very wrong, very quickly. I was smoking a bong using the kitchen roll when my eyebrows began to get quite hot. I suddenly realised what was happening and ran around the kitchen slapping myself on the face screaming my head off. When I finally calmed down my friend was in a heap on the floor, tears streaming down his face. Apparently there's something funny about me squealling like a girl while hitting myself across the head. Ho hum.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 12:29, Reply)

probably drink and drugs but i cant member that much
one night when an innocent lil virgin boy - (in some ways anyway) brought an absolute munter to a party as me missus was on holiday and they were both freinds - from the result in someome spiking me drink with 2 tabs i ended up losing my virginity in a cow shed and falling asleep on top ofher after the crucual 'moment' now the silly cow is looking for my for child support - *shite*
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 11:59, Reply)

Not drugs but alcohol...
My friend Katie and I recently went to a party where there was a free bar (uh oh). I found Katie at the end of the night absolutely plastered and told her she needed to call her dad to get him to come pick us up. She then proceeded to pull an invisible phone out of her invisible pocket, dial in the air and have a very slurred conversation with 'her dad' whilst holding her empty hand against her head. When I eventually found her real phone and got through to her dad it turned out he had called Katie and told her he was in the car park half an hour earlier.
(georgia, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 10:27, Reply)

Ah the joys of smoking weed in the woods
A small gathering of about 20 people in a woods somewhere in Southampton. A lengthy trip to fill a bucket with fresh water for extra drug usage. Me needing to clear my head by dunking it in water. Find said bucket. Rather stoned leaning head first into a bucket of water promptly rolling down a rather steep hill. Covered in mud and bucket water. Being shouted at for being a dick.

The next storytakes place new years about 5 or so years ago. Strange older friend invites us to his flat for smoking and new years entertainment. Bring along another friend. About 5 of us working our way through a 9 bar. Mentioned older friend whiteys and so does friends house mate.Me and my other friend continue smoking until 2 the next afternoon. No Whitey in sight. Ah the joys of a 30 year old lonely female flat mate attempting to seduce a 16 year old boy by dragging him into her room and sellotaping him to the bed.

Finally a back garden story. Hash cookies each with an 1/8 in. The simple warning of "DO NOT eat more than 2. Or you will die" then me eating 3 1/2 slowly going for whitey gold in a freezing cold garden at night. Cookie puke actuallylooks like Cookie dough surprisingly.

Sorry about length I think it's pointless to post individuals when one annoying long one is nearly good enough.
( Mr. Street, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 8:08, Reply)

Yay for prescription drugs!
Due to the fact that I'm a cripple, I have an ongoing prescription for Vicodin (a high strength Codeine based painkiller). As it's massively strong, a lot of people get super high on it. I sell it to my friends for $5 a pill or $25 a bottle as I don't take it.

As I'm also a freak - I have panic/anxiety disorder along with specific phobia, I also get Valium and Xanax on a regular prescription.

Because of my phobia, I don't take any of these pills, I just sell them :)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 6:45, Reply)

Again! Again! weee what fun!!
ahh yes weed...smoked some with my best friend on a playground around midnight in the middle of the city right next to a street plenty of light and the sherriff of the town lived across the street from said playground (god knows how we didnt get caught)so we finish smoking and we are quite giggly and we start walking back to my house when i spot something walking along the sidewalk with me...WHY ITS A SIX-LEGGED SIAMESE CAT! i then proceeded to chase it around and try to pet it but once i got close it dissapeared..awwww sadness ensues...and my friend thought a dog was barking bullets at her so she got on the ground and commanded me as if we were in a war "GODAMNIT MAN! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?! OR DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND!"...i think i peed a little...

that weed was too good for our fragile little minds
(spazzinout74, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 6:33, Reply)

Never buy fudge from fairies...
It was the Sunday of Reading Festival, 2001.

Having fallen out with my tent partner earlier in the day (for calling him a fat twat - I had no idea he had a problem with his weight) I decided to make ammends by buying him (and myself, notoriously meek and not really sure of my allegiance on the pro/anti drug debate) some hash fudge from a middle-aged lady dressed as a fairy. It was later revealed to me by numerous friends that they knew it was laced with, among other illicit and household cleaning substances, acid and ket.

So... Among other things visualised/experienced that night...

*My mate believing he was a dog and making three of us cry in fear.
*Me (suffering from congenital heart condition) believing my heart had fallen out of my chest and was beating away slowly on the floor in front of me. This resulted me running around for it for long periods of time attempting to force it back into my chest and pump it back into life.
*Three youngish girls sat on me using me as a park bench, which I unfortunately thought I was...
*Everyone being of the "Hello, sailor" campness style...
*The whole camp being set alight due to the closeness to the burning toilets. (That was one hell of a scary hallucination).

Must be said though, best sleep I ever had later on...

On a shorter note, last new year's eve I took mushrooms and got home on the 2nd of January having lived in a wood for two days. During this time I bought alcohol for 14 year olds, I was mugged by said 14 year olds... Fun and games.

Long time lurker. First time borer.
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 2:47, Reply)

Homecoming
We started homecoming in the fraternity with drinking a bottle of Orange flavored Mad Dog 20/20 for breakfast. The went riding in the parade float (keep moving those ropes for the animation) - finishing off the second bottle of 20/20, grape flavor for lunch. Got dropped, drank more, had some sex in there too. Blacked out after the spliff rolled in typing paper. Came to next afternoon in bed with the wiccan girl with a very large tatoo of a dragon. They tell me I rolled down the basement steps and landed on my feet like a cat.
( teknikl, Sun 18 Dec 2005, 0:34, Reply)

drruuuuuggggssss
i remember the first time i got high it was back in the day...a wednesday...but yeah anyways i was sitting at a coffee table across from my friend and after i had taken a couple of hits i blacked out somewhat and had rolled over onto the floor and as i was going down the coffee table looked like a really high cliff and i thought i was falling off the grand canyon and i started yelling at my friend to help me. so picture me laying on the ground crying and screaming bloody murder because i has fallen off a cliff...but by that time i realized i was stoned and got use to it. so we hopped on our bikes and rode to the closest diner and had a feast
we had megamunchies...hehe i said megamunchies
(spazzinout74, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 23:59, Reply)

school life...
...taking most of my GCSE exams tripping some 'sid was an interesting experience. It wasnt planned, a few of us just managed to get a lot of acid and we had an interesting week. Miraculously, I got better then my predicted grades, although to this day I remember very little of what I wrote.
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 23:45, Reply)

regrets? Not really
All true sadly.

At the age of 15 drinking everything in site at a party and deciding to hang from the roof upside down peering in the loo window. Singing "We are the Ovalteenies" for some reason. Surprisingly didn't fall off but somehow managed to get back inside to fall into drunken coma.

During my degree years: getting so stoned on finest nepalese and 7 star Metaxa I didn't notice my girlfriend fixing up (I didn't know she had a heroin habit)and dying of an overdose. I kept asking her to change the record all night as I was paralysed and calling her a lazy bitch.

During my PhD. deciding to stay up all night in the lab writing up some research, drinking 2 bottles of Absolut citron (straight from the bottle)THEN thinking that was a great time to check the bird traps. Now, we used to catch feral pigeons as there wasn't a supplier and we didn't have breeding facilities. As this was in Regents Park the traps weren't popular with tourists so the solution I came up with was to place them on the roof of the research block, get research subjects and lower the pest population art the same time. Cool. So, totally arsed, up the ladder to the roof, stagger out and remember where the traps are. Oh yes, on the roof of the other building where I put them (which had no roof access from inside) and a jump of about 3-4 feet. So, about 200 ft up, jumping between buildings, totally drunk and on the jump back with a caged bird. Insane.

Funnily enough I was seen by one of security who complained (reasonably) that I could easily kill myself, but they didn't stop me until a visit by a member of the Royal Family. Now being a Republican of the "I love Oliver Cromwell" School, I wasn't arsed about a visit from our Patron so decided to pop onto the roof for a smoke of the Moroccan variety, only to be surrounded by 3 armed police (looking like extras from Rainbow Six)who were up on the roof for security. Good job I hadn't taken Speed that day. Looking like a foreigner of the "possible terrorist" variety not a bonus. "Don't MOVE!"
My response? "Oooh, is that a Heckler & Koch? Neat, man."

After that, boring really.
Off down to the pub after a family funeral (a nephew hung himself), getting stoned with and shagging one of my nieces in the woods.

At a family wedding getting off with the photographer not realising her husband was there. Oops.

Other stupid things said or done while on Acid or Dope:
"Well, man, like man, it's cool man".
"I really fancy my sister. I could fuck her hard".
"I really think, man, like your wife does great blowjobs".
"No, man, there isn't a Tiger in the carpet. NO! It's not there. It won't EAT you, IDIOT! Anyway, the giant spider behind you would get it first."
"Wow, fire is so beautiful man." Then whirling a 6 foot flaming branch from the fire in the woods and clubbing (accidentally honest)a friend in the head, burning half his hair off.

Being drug free is soooo dull.
Man.
(cargo, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 22:05, Reply)

Acid brings out the best...
The first one occurred on my first visit to Amsterdam (where I now live): I had dropped 2 sunflowers which were quite strong and visual. Myself and 2 friends went to a club, apparently they bribed the bouncer to let me in as I looked a state already. When we got inside, I thought I had no money left so my friends spent all theirs on our collective drinking. When the money ran out, I was undeterred and started drinking from extinguished candle holders full of dried wax. It seems I didn't notice there was no booze in them and was happy doing that for hours, they showed me the photos.

When we came out of the club at about 10 in the morning, Renault or some car manufacturer were filming an ad outside. There was some kind of Afghan hound involved and I ran up to it shouting 'Hyacinth Hyacinth, where have you been my darling'?

Erm...I think I'll keep schtuum about the other episodes...
(sativan, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 21:11, Reply)

Watching the same
scene from David Lynch's 'Eraserhead' 50 times in a row, convinced that underneath all the background layers of sound there was a voice saying something. I've no idea what though, something profound probably.

Note: Drugs + David Lynch = An incredibly entertaining way to destroy your sanity.
( Roman Totale, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 20:32, Reply)

Inadvertantly coming out of the closet
When I was really high I once claimed I "wished I could see peoples gayness". There was no homoerotic reason for this, I just wished I could. This has been used on various MSN profiles by my mates as their favourite quotes over the years.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 20:11, Reply)

Tonight across Britain...
Okay b3ta, it's like this: where I am now it's gone midnight, and it's been great reading these and knowning that young Britain is still getting off its trolley every Saturday.

But we've only come up with 9 pages so far.The usual suspects are deafeningly silent. Stusut for example, where's yours? Get your stories on here! For those of you who feel you don't have stories, it's Saturday evening, the night's young. Get your phones out, get your mates around, follow some of the advice on here and then come back to b3ta in the middle of it and tell us how it is.

G'wan. You know you want to :-)

did I just think that, or did I say it out loud?
(Mori, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 19:25, Reply)

not me but...
My mate is well known as a bit of a pill head and snorter of most things put in front of him...

So imagine a camp tall bloke on speed, so hyper that he has to run up and down his own stairs for about 4 hours trying to calm down on speed

Or him on K and shitting himself in the middle of a club and having to wear his coat has a nappy for the rest of the night

My mate once pre rolled 15 spliffs and took them out into town and promply dropped them all over the floor in front of a policeman. i had to stand in front of her whilst she picked them up whilst asking him distractivly if he'd ever notices 'that, do you know trees are green?' and 'my long stripy purple hat, well its a hat'.

hmmm not sure if that destracted him, more made him suspicious...
( squiddylyd Once you pop you can't stop!, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 18:46, Reply)

Halucinating at 6
Back, many years ago, I was six years of age. Not normally an age associated with drug taking.

However, I also had a bad cough at the time, that was keeping me awake at nights. My parents duly took me to the doctor who prescribed a cough medecine for me, but instructed my parents to give me the adult dosage. I do not know the name of the cough sirrup (around about 1984), but it was later discovered to cause hallucinations in children. At the childrens dose...

My parents were good parents. When their child came into their room in the middle of the night, complaining of snakes under the bed, they did the parent thing. They took my back to my room. They turned on the lights. They lifted the covers. Well, I'm telling you, I could still see the snakes.

That, and several other lurid dreams. There was a colour of blue which I've never seen outside of those experiences, and most other things were more made up of pen strokes than anything else.

Reason why it took my for years to discover this explanation: a) My uncle had a drink spiked with *something*, at a party, and he's still not right after ~20 years (thus putting me off experimenting for a good time), and b) my parents just assumed I knew about this medecine problem until casually bringing it up in conversation when I was 22ish.
(Damien_The_Unbeliever, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 18:43, Reply)

Pink Floyd is baaaaaaaad, m'kay?
I worked for a radio station in the late eighties, and was for some reason put in charge of taking a tour bus up to Auckland, New Zealand to see Pink Floyd live.

Your esteemed tour host managed to:

- Smoke and drink a little too much on the bus, then throw up on one of our valued guests and pass out.
- Make a miraculous recovery, then get off the bus in Taupo and light up yet another doobie. On the lawn in front of the Taupo Police Station, as it turns out.
- Settle in to the little seat next to the driver for a wee nap. Lapse in to a coma. Be carried in to the concert, only to awaken just as a huge inflatable pig made its way over the crowd. Slightly unsettling.

I don't do drugs anymore. Can't for the life of me think why.
(charles mingus, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 18:30, Reply)

Oh my
Try being stoned in the middle of a wood being convinced the trees are out to get you...

Me: "That oak's looking at me funny"
Mate: "Dude, that's an elm"
Me: "Oak then- either way I don't like it's attitude"

Me and the elm eventually made friends though... and it gladly supported me when I was mid-whitey. Thanks elm...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 17 Dec 2005, 16:56, Reply)

Pilled up confusion.
Got back from a night of clubbing and I'm hangin' out with a bunch of my mates, several pills and various powdered substances have found there way into my bloodstream somehow. One of my mates, who is a bit obsessed with his appearance asks nobody in particular if there is any hair gel about?! I pipe up that there is some hair wax in the bathroom, in the cabinet above the toilet. I am also whispering to my best mate that this will be funny because the hair wax is about 5 years out of date. Hair boy is then heard to be shouting "there is no cabinet above the toilet!" At this point, it suddenly dawns on me that I am not in my own home, but am in fact at my best mates house! Whoops. The same night I also thought I was doing a cryptic crossword and blurted out one of the answers - I was nowhere near a crossword at the time. Oh what fun! (I do quite enjoy it when my brain loses it's way though!)
(clive_pounds, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 16:49, Reply)

Another tale, just remembered
My friend and I (the same friend from the 'backwards green swastika' story) went for a drive one evening. We ended up down by the river for the express purpose of smoking a spliff pre-pub.

We smoked up and, feeling too gone to drive back into town I suggested we go further out of town before we come back to allow me to collect my thoughts.

We hit a small village a few miles out of town, and my friend asked how I was. "Fine now, I think" I replied, promptly pulling the car over into a layby and cautiously swinging it around.

We had been driving the small country road for around 20 seconds or so, when my friend posed a question- the kind of question whose magnitude should never be posed to a stoned driver.

"Don't we drive on the left?"

"You know... I'm not sure."
*still driving... 30 feels quite fast right now*
"I really think that we do."
*slowly we creep across the road, as if doing it more slowly would stop anyone noticing us...*
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 15:12, Reply)

Smoking
lots of gear and nothing happening.

Thats all
( Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 15:08, Reply)

at Leeds festival
went to the toilets whilst wasted after eating mushrooms (in a pita bread - very tasty

I made the mistake of looking down and saw
I quote:

'A turd wearing a shoe'

not sure how it happened
( WormuIus, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 15:05, Reply)

shrooms in the park
Student days, load of shrooms, walk in the park...

See a flying police car, no not a helicopter, ordinary police car just it happens to be flying. Not what one normally comes across when strolling on Glasgow Green. So, after being battered by waves of paranoia and confusion for an indeterminate length of time, I decide that the best course of action is ignore it and not tell any of my co-trippers what I may or may not be seeing. Best not to worry them, or let them know I'd dropped through one of those gaps in reality. I check back every so often as we wander on to find it still following us. Eventually (or 2 seconds later, you can never be sure of timings) it's gone. On with the adventure, the usual shenanigans on return to the flat, rolling around on the floor, listening to crap music and thinking its wonderful. As normality resumes one of our group pipes up with "that was a heavy one, for a while I thought we were being followed by a flying police car!". "did you see that as well, I thought it was just me " sez another. Turns out we'd all seen it but didn't want to mention it at the time.

Half a dozen people seeing the same thing usually means it's real, so group hallucination, or Strathclyde Police special anti drugs weapon? Guess we'll never know.
(middleofnowhere, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 13:57, Reply)

First time I took drugs
I realised that being a smug condescending cunt wasn't such a funny thing after all and waiters stopped spitting in my food
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 13:37, Reply)

I don't do drugs...
which means that this reply is totally pointless, a complete waste of space.

*smug*
(chinesechipmunk, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Another one, why not.
I suppose this is the best phonecall i've ever overheard. During the summer my mate Andys parents were away and since they own a shed making business, he was in charge of business phonecalls which were directed to his mobile.

One day, we were sitting getting stoned in another mates kitchen when the phone rings. Andy handles the beginning of the phonecall quite well, however, when he's asked if his parents are there he simply replies "no, sorry, they're on fire".

It wouldnt have been so bad if he hadn't made this mistake a further three times during the phonecall.
(TheintolerableGS, Sat 17 Dec 2005, 11:37, Reply)