My dad lives on a boat
And since I don't often get the chance to visit, when I do we usually make a day of it. There are a lot of open fields down the river from where he is moored, so we sail down, moor up, and have a BBQ with more than a few beers between us.
On one particularly lovely day, we realised that I had forgotten to get buns for the burgers and so walked about a mile to the car and drove to the nearest shops.

Unbeknownst to me, while I was away, my dad had decided to move onto something a little stronger than beer, and knocked his keys into the canal.

When I got back, he was nowhere to be seen. I put the buns inside, looked in the kitchen, knocked on the bathroom door, nothing.

Going back outside, I saw one of my dad's plastic crates in the water, and assumed it must have fallen off the back of the boat, and so getting one of the poles, I hooked the box and lifted out of the water.

I then fell to the floor, and tried desperately not to wet myself, as, where the box once was, was my dad's head. He had jumped into the canal after his keys, taking the box with him, as in his drunken stupor, he had been sure that Dad + waterproof box = Submarine.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 7:07, 7 replies)

I love these stories
they tell you everything you need to know about blokes and booze
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 28 Feb 2011, 9:12, closed)

Glug
But did he find his keys?
(DownhillGardener no-one does it like that anymore, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:33, closed)

After I dragged him out of the canal
and put a towel round him, I went and got the big magnet on a rope made specifically for getting things like keys from places like the bottom of a canal!
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:47, closed)

Actually
If he'd taken a couple of decent-sized weights with him, he could have used it as a (presumably rather small) diving bell.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 11:46, closed)

I think that's what he was going for.
It wasn't very successful.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:47, closed)

Have a click
My dad lives on a boat as well. He's not a drinker though so I'm sitting this QOTW out.

Your old man needs to get (perhaps as a gift from you) a cork ball keyring. The ball is about the size of a large plum and it has a small chain or string fixed to it to which you attach your keys. Drop it in and they float. It is an *essential* item for boat dwellers.
( Scrumper, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 21:48, closed)

Yeah
He has one of the cork keyrings for the boat keys, but I think these keys were for the car, or the electric box or something. I can't remember exactly, it was years ago.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:45, closed)