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This is a question Easiest Job Ever

Dazbrilliantwhites says he spent five years working at an airport where he spent his days "racing down multi-storey car parks in wheelchairs and then using the lift to go back to the top". Tell us about your best and easiest jobs. Students: Make something up.

(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:14)
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radiology fleshlump
I was lying on a table, bare chested and my jogging pants pulled down dangerously low. The elderly man held a compact cylinder with the tip slightly larger and egg shaped. He dipped two, or three, fingers of his free hand into a pot with clear and oozy stuff. Then he stepped a bit closer to me, and began to spread the slime across my lower abdomen, massaging it in gently, while politely addressing the crowds of what he was going to do with my inner organs. His engaging manner and dry humour on them invading my cavities in public amused us.

After he had deposited the last of it across my hairy, pale paunch with a jolly swipe, he proceeded to fiddle with a bigger device that the gently humming hand held part was linked to. He asked around, which part of my intestine they would like him to penetrate first. My helpless smile at the situation and shabby, hungover mug i carried let some of the people assembled show sympathetic shrugs. One hand firmly pressed against the side of my guts, the taskmaster now pressed the phallic contraption below my navel. My colon inside the pubic bone appeared in ghostly greys, gently swaying like big lazy snakes. Transmitted on several screens, and commented by the man, they took a journey up my wotsits.

He rubbed it downwards slowly, stopping to adjust, pointing out his intents to the audience. At one point, he could exactly describe the bits i had for breakfast and that i was about to fart inside the next hour. Every now and then, he would grab a bit of the slime and spread it on me, until my whole lower abdomen was finally covered. And so they went on for more than an hour, without cease now trying this angle, now another penetration depth. And the audience was invited as well to take part in traversing my guts, to focus on blood vessels and to trace the lines of my bones. Wavering in and out between interest and lack of sleep, i obeyed commands to move and hold breath.

Afterwards i had a massive fart cascade on the stairs outside, then lit my roll-up, smiling. There now were dozens of strangers that had a decent peek and fumble. They possibly went deeper than the great Long Dong Silver, and left this clear liquid drying just above my crotch. Stroking, nudging and circling my soft nether regions with their relentless tool. Money was all right as well. What wouldn't i do..
(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:41, 5 replies)
Beautifully written
Have a click!
(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:42, closed)
I concur
Very nicely put together (fnarr).
Click!
(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:05, closed)
*Clicks

(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, closed)
that's the strangest erotica i've ever read

(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:49, closed)
Agreed.
I still managed to shift a batch of cock-snot though. Well, fuck it. I'm supposed to be working, and it's my B3ta birthday, so it felt right.
(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:06, closed)

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