Motorway Madness
September 1995...

Bombing it up the M1 back to uni in Leeds. Junctions 1 to 46 - 180 miles of pure, pristine tarmac. Fast lane all the way. 19yrs old, overtaking any motherfucking thing that moved. Averaging 115mph. Speed cameras still a thing of the future. Had to beat my record. London to Leeds. Last done in 2hrs 24min.

New motor. 'G' reg Daihatsu Charade GTTi. Pioneer headgear. Alpines embedded in the parcel shelf. Sub-woofer taking up most of the boot. 300w amp drilled under the passenger seat. 'Retrospective of House 91-95' rinsing through that system. "To the beat of the drum. Bang! To the beat of drum. Bang Bang!"

And me. Lit Marlboro Red hanging from my lips. Shades on. Desperate to return. Desperate get back to 'Back to Basics'. 'Vague'. 'Hardtimes'. Party time!

Like I said. Daihatsu Charade Gtti. Hottest hatch around. A twin-turbo monster that flew. Only 998cc under the bonnet. Genius quirk of Japanese engineering. That thing would never get made today.

I'm in the zone. Red-line all of the way. Leaning forward on my seat. Flashing my lights. Burning up coaches and caravans. If I'd seen myself today, would have called the police.

And then. From nowhere. An almighty. A colossal. A world-ending sonic BOOM smashed into my ear drums.

Sound barrier being broken? No.

Bass-bin blowing up? No.

Front left tyre exploding at 120mph? Yes.

Then everything went quiet. Tunes faded into the background. I knew I was having an accident. I registered that. Part of me fought with the steering wheel. Part of me tried to push all three pedals at the same time. And a bigger part of me braced himself and awaited the immense, inevitable pain, that was certain to follow.

The car turned. Yanked left out of the fast lane in a blur of screeching metal and burned rubber. In milliseconds the rear end had flipped out to the right. And for one perfect moment. For one clear as day, intoxicatingly frightening moment, I was facing the wrong way down the M1. Oncoming traffic seemingly inches away. I swear I caught the eye of a gobsmacked HGV driver.

Then time caught up with me. The Daihatsu had continued it's arc across all three lanes. As quickly as it had started, I'd spun a full 360 and was facing the correct way again. But this time skidding sideways at a terrifying rate. Towards the hard shoulder. Towards the trees. Towards the ditches. Towards the pain.

And then it was over. I was facing forward. Car not upside down. Just wedged at the far left of the hard shoulder, slightly in drainage ditch. The huge metal posts of a motorway sign just inches in front of me. The hard as fuck trunk of a mammoth fir tree just inches behind me.

Soon. I don't know how long it took. But soon a cop car had pulled up ahead of me. Light's flashing. The officers jumped out and sprinted over. They pulled open the door. They could not believe I was unharmed.

'Saw the whole thing,' jabbered one of them, 'we were ready to call in the air-ambulance. Would've bet my salary you were a gonna!'

The other one looked me up and down.

'Do you know you've got a fag burning a hole in your jeans?'

He was right. My Marlboro had been happily smouldering in my crotch for god knows how long. Jeans were burned through. Yet I felt nothing. Must have been the adrenaline. But that's when I broke down. Tried to get out the car and dust the fag butt off. I didn't make it. Fainted there and then on the hard shoulder.

Came round in the back of an ambulance. The coppers had changed my tyre. Was soon on my way again. Classic FM and never topping 60.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:35, 10 replies)

nice story.
In the interest of dispelling /QOTW LIES I should point out that a Charade GTti is a single turbo not a twin and can't do 115, let alone average it.

mind, tidy cars, and you can overboost the turbo and make them even more insane. Pity 3 cylinder cars sound like a bag of nails inside a spin drier really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:06, closed)

I always thought the 'tt' in 'gtti'
stood for 'twin turbo'. But you maybe correct. Also, a minor tweak on the turbo easily allowed my car to top 130mph. The manufacturers stated standard top speed is 116mph, so they can make it that high. I know. I've owned two of them.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:13, closed)

I doubt it stands for anything.
But no, one turbo. Cars of that era that had twin turbos used one per bank of cylinders, so two in the 300ZX for instance as it was a V6. It's only very recently that people like BMW have started twin turboing one bank of cylinders with a small turbo to spool up at low revs and remove the midrange turbo lag.

oh, and a mild tweak (or even a fuckoff tweak) to the turbo will do cock all for your top speed. That's governed by gearing and engine revs. It'll just make you accelerate faster.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:23, closed)

It did easily top 120mph.
Here's some berk doing 220kmh in his gtti...that equates roughly to 136mph.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfUBB1UDk9U

The green light you see flashing is the turbo indicator.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:32, closed)

While we're in the process of correcting stuff
The Skyline's been a twin turbo straight six for, well, ever. That's just one example.

Of course an increase in power will increase your top speed, top speed in a car is defined mostly by the power of the car to overcome drag. I have never driven a car (and I've driven lots) that has topped out at the rev limiter.
(Mr_Kipling_, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:42, closed)

And
The Mazda RX7 had sequential twin turbos plumbed onto its two rotor engine.
(Kyzia was here on, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 14:50, closed)

True, I'm just deliberately being an arse here.
Although, it doesn't make much difference to top speed, much more to acceleration. Small car gearing does take you close to the redline in top IME.

Anyway, given the rate of increase of air resistance with speed you need an epic power up to seriously alter anything at the top end.

The skyline is a twin turbo, yeah, but one per 3 cylinders, similar to the 300ZX system but on a striaght 6. I wasn't really being clear but I was differentiating between twin and sequential turbos really. Poster below is right about the last generation RX-7, it was the first sequential turbo production car I think, I'd forgotten that. But that engine was witchcraft.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:38, closed)

cars topping out at rev limiter
the skoda pickup normally aspirated 1.9l diesel will merrily accelerate to ca. 150 km/h at which point the rev limiter kicks in.
this is due to a shorter diff gearing compared to the hatchback base meant to increase power off the line at the cost of top end.
(Singularity was tiny but amazingly dense on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 2:08, closed)

This is top pedantry - good work!
Enjoyed the original post too *click*
( splorp ®, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 14:23, closed)

Tyre blow outs can be scary. When the N/S rear tyre blew on my Land Rover it was difficult to control and steer to the hard shoulder - it was a case of lurch to the left, straighten up, rinse and repeat.

More_here
( Vambo, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:10, closed)