and so forth.
I couldn't work out why everyone at the Ku Klux Klan rally was staring at me with such hostility. Imagine my shame when I realised my hood was a bit floppy and they thought I was dressed as a ghost.


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 3:41, Reply)

I've just remembered a good one:
back when I was in school we had a non-uniform day. One of the sixth-formers came in wearing a full SS officer's dress uniform.
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 2:34, Reply)

Halloween
Once at a pub near us they had a competition for the best halloween costume. Seeing as I was a sad goth tosser at the time I dressed normally, threw in a rubber snake for good measure and won a bottle of vodka that tasted like paraffin. Good times.
(chakaflange, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 1:40, Reply)

A Coffin And A Slut!
First fancy dress I remember was a haloween party and my Dad got a cardboard box from the supermarket, cut in into a coffin shape,with a little hole for my head and spray painted in black the wrote 'RIP' on it, I went dressed in that and a cheap plastic mask. I won the 'Best Dressed' competition but my dear Dad hadn't considered how I was going to sit down that night, so I stood up all night.
The second time I dressed up was to see rocky horror and I went as Janet in knickers, bra, under skirt and lab coat. To make matters worse I got too hot in a club and took the lab coat off.
The best costume Ive ever witnessed a family member wear is my Dad, he use to work for Slush Puppy and he got talked into dressing up as the Slush Puppy and parading around the Reebok! My two little brothers got to witness this, the five year old loved every second of it, but the two year old was petrified and I had to carry him round for two hours. Fun times.
(purplefairy, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 23:16, Reply)

Nun Juice
Three years ago i was playing in the Brass band im in at a annual concert we do, i play trombone and me and my other two trombonist were playing 'I will follow Him'from the film Sister Act 1 or 2 im not sure, anyways we didnt get the costumes till just before we went on in our normal band uniform for the "serious" first half where we basically showed how good we are(Smug Mode) the second half came and we were introduced onto the stage, now at this point we three trombonists must weigh over thirty five stone(not each !) so our costumes didnt fit at all mine looked like it was sprayed onto me, my mate looked like he was wearing latex like Dafyd(THE only gay in the village) and the other lads costume ripped as we were walking on stage, That people is how you do fancy dress !!

Apologise for shortness, slimness and droopiness

Meh !
(Factorypilot This,Now,Before,After, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 22:09, Reply)

Best or Worst... tbc
Purchased a set of welder's overalls from an army surplus store for a uni ball.

Dressed up with some other stuff from the surplus store; usual stuff cammo paint etc and bingo - military (of a type) costume.

7 years later, halloween fancy dress party, one £2 plastic mask and hey presto Hannibal Lecter.

Next, fancy dress party and/or halloween(I'm not invited out much) well it's going to end up as ghostbuster costume.

Or a welder.
(diessel, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 21:53, Reply)

Oh dear...
This will take some remembering.

Well, I'm 16 and American, so the times in which I would happily cavort around my mountaintop suburb on the evening of October 31st dressed as any of a rather wide range of things collecting chocolate with my wee little friends aren't as far off for me as they are for some of you.

So, here goes...

As a wee baby I was put in a purple one-piece, purple balloons were affixed to me with green pipe cleaners and I wore a green leafy felt cap. What had Mom dressed me as, you ask?
A bunch of grapes.
(She had horns, a wee pitchfork and a red-and-black cape which I loved to steal in my subsequent years- yes, she'd gone as the Devil Herself. At the moment I'm speculating the possibility of my being God's Grapes of Wrath and her having nicked them off Him. Quite an inventive baby costume, I'll give her due credit for that at the very least...)

Somewhere in between then and my gaining the ability to actually cavort around myself (with other kids of course, safety first), in preschool I think, I had a cube-shaped cardboard box with arm, leg and head holes, painted white with big black spots. Yes, I was a dice (a die to the pedantic people among you), and a damn good one too.

In kindergarten I was none other than the Amazing Spider-man. I may actually still have the foam insert that made it look as if my scrawny 5-year-old body had abs of steel (I shit you not. It was utterly awesome).

A bit later I became the Red Power Ranger, and my best buddy dressed up as the Green one (Jason and Tommy respectively, if I remember the lore correctly... forgive me if I don't and shoot me if I do). I even had the gloves that made the karate sounds when you swung them...

I was a ninja sometime thereafter. A super stealthy dragon ninja. With a sword (well, maybe not a proper sword. But some kind of ninja weapon, I remember that well).
No, I didn't flip out on the stingy cnuts that refused to fork over their hard-earned candy. I was but a timid ninja.

One of the more recent ones (as in, after my folks got a divorce, and I remember this because the cavorting was done in my dad's new outlying suburb as opposed to my old mountaintop one) was me as a secret agent. Again, I shit you not- we'd sent away for the play Secret Service I.D., gotten me a suit, even fixed me up with a clear plastic water gun. If I recall correctly, I had a line that mixed government operative cliché with the classic "Trick or treat!!".

The next fancy dress party worth remembering was the one I threw in 2004. I of course took the opportunity to deck myself out as my (by that time infamous) fictional character CK the Demon: white makeup, fangs, claws and a sword (plus, of course, the long black leather coat which I'd basically gotten because of the creation of this character).

Any more? I'll add them if and when I think of them.

CK
(CK is rocking out near you (cosmologically speaking), Mon 16 Jan 2006, 21:47, Reply)

Halloween...
Yeah, being a student and a seemingly lazy one at that i didnt decide to get ready for the impending halloween festivities that occur round here.
Realising ive got an hour till im due to go out to a party i decide its a good time to get some costume.

No costumes around.

After half an hour of thinking what to do i quickly ran into the kitchen and ripped loads of cereal boxes up and attached to a box with arms and head spaces cut out.

Yes i was a cereal killer. Complete with complementary ketchup too.

Went to the party with a machine gun bb gun wearing this and everyone stopped, looked and pondered.

I just said cereal killer and everyone thought it was fantastic.

Go me.
(insanegl0ss saw the grass on the pitch..., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 21:33, Reply)

Halloween 2004 ...
Me as Hitler (months before that Harry got in the act), housemate as werewolf.


However, on completion of my costume I was reminded the girl I had recently started dating, and would be accompanying me to the party was in fact from Germany.

Luckily, she thought it was hilarious, and even let me keep the moustache on in bed.
( Curis, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 20:33, Reply)

My best costume
The best one I've ever done is this;

rathen.animebots.co.uk/hitler1.jpg

rathen.animebots.co.uk/hitler2.jpg

rathen.animebots.co.uk/hitler3.jpg

Imagine walking down a busy dual-carriageway to the house where the party was at. I saw a range of emotions that night. Especially from the jewish girl at the party.
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 19:32, Reply)

Caveman!
During the Queen's Silver Jubilee (when I was pretty young) I went to a kids fancy dress competition on our estate.

Virtually everyone else was dressed up as Britannia and other patriotic themes, with painstakingly made costumes (shields, helmets, tridents etc).

I was dressed as a caveman.

For my costume I wore a nasty goatskin rug that my dad had picked up overseas, as props I had a big stick to wave about menacingly and I also had a bone left over from sunday dinner (with a few scraps still on it, that I gnawed with relish).

I won.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 19:01, Reply)

"I'm a Kit-Kat. Get me a beer. Now."
I couldn't be arsed to sort out a proper costume, so I took the red band from a Kit Kat wrapper (a two-finger one) and stuck it around my wrist. Simple and effecive, but most importantly, slack as fuck.
(Quadraspazzed, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 17:38, Reply)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
The company I work for purchased a house on a street that is borderline commercial/residential and rennovated it into a really great office.

So out my window, I see all kinds of things. For weeks before Halloween, there was this kid constantly zipping by on his bike, completely decked out with a TMNT costume..complete with plastic shell. (though he didnt wear the mask, I guess his Mom makes him wear a bike helmet)

So its long past Halloween, second week in December in fact and I am at the local Sears (department store - about 5 miles away) to pick up some christmas lights for my tree. What do I see? Weaving in and out of the aisles of clothing? THE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

I had to inquire with the childs Mother (it was 10pm on a school night) to see what the deal was with the TMNT and apparently, every single day is a "Fancy Dress" day for him and he enjoys fighting crime in our neighborhood, keeping the other children and animals safe.

The kid is 10 years old. Fortunately for him, he is also home-schooled. (shivers)

Thank God he is out there keeping us safe though.

Sean
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 17:33, Reply)

Oh, just remembered
When I was 10, I entered a fancy dress costume thing dressed as a fruit machine.

I'd taken a box, painted it black, stuck three oranges into cunningly cut holes in the front and one arm out the side. I thought I was so fucking clever.

Oh how I laughed as the older kids repeatedly yanked my arm around and demanded their "pay out". Bastards.
( chthonic, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 17:04, Reply)

Norway badminton tournament
For the last few years i've been playing a badminton tournament in norway, with people coming from all over europe. At the end of the tournament theres a large fancy dress party with lots of drinking.

The first year, the fancy dress was costumes. My mate Phillip dressed up in his TA uniform with a german officers cap. At 5 foot 8 inches hes a bit on the small side, which is important to the story.

My abiding memory is him absolutely pissed out of his head surronded by 3 rather large germans (his line of sight would be there shoulders), while he's shouting "schnell schnell, actung achtung, you vill do vhat i say".

Thankfully all 3 just laughed at him and called him "crazy pissed english", i was waiting for him to get lamped one.
(loquis, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 14:56, Reply)

Arabian Nights
I was invited to an Arabian Nights themed party.

I didn't fancy copying just about every other bloke going and dressing up as a pervy Belly Dancer so had to think of something else.

I had this ex-Soviet uniform jacket (air force I think) with all sorts of medals, ribbons and braid hanging of it. So I went as a Middle Eastern dictator and won the prize for most piss-poor effort.

Somewhere there's a picture of me in the outfit falling off a mechanical rodeo camel. I was rubbish at that too.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 13:35, Reply)

My mother (bless her)
Made my older brother (he would've been 6, I would've been 4) a 'ghost' costume for a school parade that she got from a Women's Weekly magazine. My brother marched proudly around the oval with the other children although he got a lot more attention, and I remember my mum shouting and crying a lot on the way home.

No-one saw the sign he was holding that said "The Ghost and Mrs Muir". My mother had unwittingly paraded my brother around the playground in what looked like a KKK outfit.

If I can dig up a photo from her basement I'll post it.
( gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 13:32, Reply)

F*ck Da Police
It was my final year of Primary School (1984). Every year since I had moved to that school in 1978 I had witnessed the top year get tooled up in fancy dress and perform a song for the whole school at the final assembly of term.
This years theme was cops and robbers. I had an elaborate costume planned, with a stripey jersey, bandit mask and bag with "Swag" on it.
Only trouble was, on the day, the 11 year old Captain left the house in the morning forgetting to take his costume with him, and suffered only the mildest of heart attacks when he remembered with 10 minutes to go that he needed a costume.
Thinking quickly I put my blue waterproof overjacket on and went out into the assembly with my peers as an "Undercover Cop".
........
I was standing next to the Village bobby's kid who was decked out from top to tail in regulation police gear, the cnut. Afterwards my Mum who had been watching from the audience asked me why I hadn't worn my costume.
(LunarJim, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 13:27, Reply)

Magnum P.I
Last year, having been given exceedingly short notice, I had no choice but to go as Tom Selleck. Bearing in mind I am a girl, going to a club on a Rock night, I look slightly out of place in my red hawaiian shirt, generous 'tache, stubble and T-shirt with a picture of Tom Selleck on it amongst the girls who had almost without exception gone as 'sexy goth vampire sluts'. I wonder if Selleck ever wears a picture of himself on his shirt. I hope so.
(schnuff, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 13:23, Reply)

'F' Party
My favourite and most simple fancy dress costume was dressing up as a flasher for my mate's 'f' party last year. It consisted pretty much of my white dressing gown, and came in handy when we ran out of rizla later on...i simply popped over the street and flashed at some guys at another party for a couple of papers. I did look like a ku klux klan member walking home at 6 in the morning with my dressing gown hood up though.(the kkk seems to becoming a bit of a theme here...)
In another incident...my costume for another friend's 'sick and wrong party' was pretty crap, but a couple of the guys came as the butchers who massacred the three little pigs complete with bloody lab coats, choppers, and a bucked of 'blood' with which they stuck those adverts for scally sex phonelines up all over the house (stuff along the lines of 'i take it up me bum off social worker for 60p'). 2 months on the adverts are still up, naturally.
(wills84, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 13:14, Reply)

Oh yes my little droogs
A few years back, my esteemed employers saw fit to have an enormous fancy dress party to celebrate some good financial results.

Naturally, this led to us being treated to the sight of company directors bigging themselves up for being so fucking bohemian. Why, one of them even dressed as Charlie Chaplin. But I digress...

I had decided to go as Alex off of "A Clockwork Orange". So I acquired the full costume; bowler hat, white dress shirt, white trousers, white codpiece, outlanding cufflinks, false eyelashes, and (and this is important)a big, heavy stick.

The problem arose due to a combination of circumstances; a free bar all night, combined with me being a loathsome thesp type who instantly gets into a role when he's dressing up and pretending, combined with the presence of perhaps the biggest fucktoad in the western hemisphere...well, there were always going to issues, weren't there?

So it was that I found myself being forcibly restrained by my manager after I had, apparently, ran onto the dancefloor wielding a big stick (okay...cudgel) screaming "Where is he? Where's that fucking cunt? I'll KILL THE FAT FUCK!". I spent the rest of the party being talked down from Clockwork world by some forgiving friends who were quite aware of what an idiot I am.

I suspect it was only the managers' dislike of the chap that saved me from a P45.
(Light, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 12:41, Reply)

thong thong thong thong thong

Probably the worst costume that I've ever been made to wear. Definately the worst costume I've been made to wear on stage in front of 500 people. A triumph of alcohol over dignity.



(I'm the boderline anorexic in the middle)
(donksta, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 11:56, Reply)

Bandits at 12, dinner at 6
I was once VERY lazy and took a toy plane to a fancy dress party, when asked what the hell i was dressed as i pulled the plane out and 'flew' it onto my hand and claimed i was an aircraft carrier


*coat*
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 11:30, Reply)

Elves...
Ok, so the final Lord of the Rings film comes out. Me and my friend are both in the middle of a Lotr phase. So we decide to go dressed as elves. Green dressing gown, black trousers, even cardboard armguards.

And plastic bows and arrows.

Cue a big plastic arrow fight in the cinema, before we get into the screen. We managed to hit one of the attendant as well, who told us off and sent us, disgraced, into the screen on the condition that we behaved.

We got the funniest looks ever, the woman sat next to us must have thought we were mad.

And when we went back to school, we found that a girl from my class had been stood in the ticket queue, and had photos of us two mad girls running around firing arrows at each other.

Oops...
(Steg isn't drunk enough yet., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 10:15, Reply)

holiday
My mother always was an absolute beast at costume making.

on holiday one year i was entered into the childrens fancy dress competition. I was about 5.

The costume consisted of a pair of large white square pieces of foam that constituted bread, with crepe paper and foam lettuce, tomato and cheese stuffed liberally around the edges.
The plan was that i was to stand, legs and arms apart and when asked what I had come as, I was to pronounce with the confidence of the messiah "a sandwich spread".

That was the plan.

Instead I stood there stubbornly in my large bread overcoat and whenthe MC came to me and said "now then, what have you come as?" I shouted "A BUTTY" at the microphone.

I won, and I still contest that I would have been booed out of Dawlish if I'd gone with my mum's idea.
( DeKay There's jam in the bath!, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 9:58, Reply)

Luke, it is your destiny...
What’s better than going out in fancy dress to see Star Wars Episode 1? Convincing your immensely gullible work colleague you’re all going out in fancy dress then not, leaving him to have to walk round the local out-of-town retail park in the middle of the afternoon dressed as a Jedi Knight (costume comprised of black baggy trousers, black knee socks, plastic light sabre and a degree gown…). The local chavvy kids had a field day.

Eventually, we took pity on him and took him to TGI Fridays for a pint (though some might think this was actually a more sophisticated form of torture.) Outside TGI’s was a bloke dressed in a really professional Yoda costume, giving out promotional leaflets for the cinema next door. Our young Jedi master walked over to him and said “Guess it’s just you and me that made the effort then, eh?” In a moment of fancy dress solidarity, Yoda replied “Piss off, prick, I’m getting paid to wear this.”

We then left him to catch the bus back to town on his own. The sight of his little face pressed up against the back window of the bus as a gang of teenagers tried to bum him with his own light sabre haunts me still.

There’s a seat next to me on the bus to hell if anyone’s interested…
(Rakky, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 9:45, Reply)

"Hello Sailor"
As an insufferable swot, I went on a school exchange trip to the south of France.

They held a fancy dress party, in which I was forced to wear - by the evil family I had been dumped with - a rather cheeky sailor's outfit, that made me look, frankly, like the King Of The Homosexualists.

All fine and dandy, except the school we were exchanging with, was in Marseilles, the hardest city on Earth, and the party was right by the docks.

I'm lucky to be alive.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 8:33, Reply)

Scared them shitless
This happen on Halloween when I was about 13 (there wasn't reallyuch of a party going on, just my family sitting around and having fun). Anyway, my dad had an old demon's mask he got from Mexico, complete with full ram horns and pointy teeth. Now, in good lighting you can generally tell it's a mask, but in a dark hallway it generally looks like the genuine thing.
It was my turn to hand out the candy, and I notice that the next group coming up our steps is full of kids older than I am! Rightly pissed, I decided to have some fun with the idiots and put on my dad's mask to go and greet them (I was also wearing a black robe at the time).
I distinctly heard one of them say "Oh shit..." before the whole group ran off our porch and back down to the street. I was laughing so had I thought I was going to piss myself.
(lothric, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 8:08, Reply)

Coincidentally,
I just got back from a summer camp on which we have "Themed" dinners. A group makes up the theme each night and decorates, everybody dresses up. The first ngiht's theme was Mardi Gras.

Now, I just so happened to have this cowboy outfit...

Well, suffice to say that for some reason my room-mates thought it neccessary to shove four pairs of socks down my trousers, and the sideburns wouldn't wash off for DAYS, but it was worth it to tip my hat to hot guys in miniskirts and say "Howdy ma'am."
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 3:34, Reply)