Rhinos
Give me the horn
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 10:46, 3 replies)

My girlfriend let me watch once as she shot table tennis balls out her fanny with the terminal velocity of bullets leaving a gun
"You impressed?" she breathed, all sexy and turned on.

"Too damn right," I replied, a little stunned. "Especially because you managed to fit the paddle up your clout as well..."
( SpankyHanky, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 10:25, Reply)

I was a Model in A Kinky Photoshoot!
Oh yeah, you can imagine it, the sleazy, smoky party atmosphere... The hot, naked flesh... The wild debauched things happening around every corner...


Sadly, its all better left to the imagination. As always, it was cold, boring and they want you to hold poses that a qualified contortionist would find challenging. Usual rush to get everything done while we have 'the light' and not much enliven by models hanging around wearing naught but jockstraps / lacey panties. As is custom, someone has inevitably forgotten something - the photographer could bore you for hours talking about the 90 odd cameras he has with him, but has forgotten that stupid reflector screen thing (I'm determined to never learn the name of these things).

We improvised with tinfoil.

However, the episode was enliven at one point. Jude - part time kinky model and nurse - sprouts an idea which is widely endorsed: the abandoned railway bridge near her place would be a great place for her to 'kidnap' me. So, I get in my best sports chav stuff, and Jude wriggles into thigh high PVC boots and corset, donning a huge black wig to top it off. We arrive at the brick bridge - how those Victorians would frown - and I assume the victim pose: pushed against the wall, hands chained behind me in the 'flashier' FunkyFetish cuffs and Jude 'dominating' me from behind, a stiletto heel resting in the crook of my knee. The pose looked pretty good, actually.

But disused bridge? My arse - as the usual hangers-on stood around muttering about light and angles, various retired people were quite shocked out of their serene dog-walking duties. I'd never really seen anyone actually 'goggle' until that day - almost made up for the ants crawling up all over the wall. The best bit though? A genuine 'I've skipped school, innit' chav cycled past, got completely gobsmacked, and cycled himself into a hedge! So worth it.

As for me, I'm a gay submissive but feel outclassed - I haven't got half as many fetishs the worthies on here. I like redheads, and also guys with black hair thats going silver at the sideburns, but thats all pretty prosaic. For the most part, if the other guy is getting off on it, then thats hot enough for me too...
(IChewCandlewax, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Woman wearing glasses
Don't know why. Can't explain it. Just does *something* to/for me.

cowers and awaits the wrath and ire of the QoTW community...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 9:33, 3 replies)

one by my brother.

(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 8:49, 1 reply)

Late one
Mine is an actual fetish, a thing that just by looking at it, hearing it, even the smell it leaves makes me tremle at the knees. It is... Rain.

Specifically, heavy rain during a storm. With thinder and lightening, even batter. I can do out and dance naked in it in the garden, the hard drops of water hitting my flesh and covering me in slippery goodness before running inside and drying myself off with a warm fluffy towel. Hearing the rain thump and rattle against the window as I'm curled up under a blanket, with me warm and safe inside whilst the weather throws it's worst outside. The smell of damp vegetation as the sun shines through after the worst storm, certainly make my knickers get a bit damp. I even know where it comes from.

Just after boy #2 had moved in with me and #1, we went camping for a week. One night, there was an awful storm - rain so noisy against the canvas, wind whistling through the trees and lightening cracking every now and again, lighting up the inside of the tent. What you would have seen in those brief flashes of light would have been a tangle of limbs, six hadn caressing three naked bodies, three sets of lips playing on six nipples, tongue entering mouthes and playing with bodies as some body parts entered others.

As the storm reached it crescendo, I climbed on top of #2, gripping him tight and kissing him hard, running my hands down his chest... #1 pushed me agsint him and climbed on top of me. Support my weight on my arms, two people I love both sliding in and out of me, with the howling and drumming of the wind and the rain masking our pants and groans. That is one of the few times the three of us all came together, and possible the most intense experience of my life. Just seeing rain takes me right back there in to my tent and makes me walk a little bit funny... should I move to the desert?
(stimpy, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 8:42, 3 replies)

Ages ago
I used to be into S&M, bestiality and necrophilia.

But one day I realised I was just flogging a dead horse.
( Ten U Us results once we've taken all the cocks out, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 8:00, Reply)

Now that I think about it, there is one thing in the world of restraining that does appeal to me...
Making the person being restrained super-horny but tying them up in such a way that they cannot masturbate. The person tied up will be experiencing wanton lust and is very desperate to do something to relieve it. They could be made to watch someone doing something they find arousing (or just pr0n), which just intensifies their frustration.

Every so often, the person who tied them up can do something like stroke their thighs or something subtly sexy to make them even hornier. If the person who tied them up really knew the other person's sexual response, they'd also be able to bring them just to the point before the "point of no return" sets in, and then stop, making it worse.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 3:38, 1 reply)

Women who wee standing up
While not much of a fan of golden showers / watersports, there are some aspects of it that do appeal to me. Sometimes, just watching a woman peeing standing up can have an effect on me. Not really sure why, but have been curious to know if it was possible from an early age. When this happened, I was intrigued to say the least, and wondered what would happen with some experimentation, but lacked the right *ahem* apparatus. Every so often, the thought would re-appear (eg. here), but it was only when I discovered USENET that I realised I was not alone, and that yes, it really was possible. A few years later, someone at my office sent round a link to this which I found *ahem* interesting. Another thing I find strangely arousing is watching a woman wet her knickers.

However, the idea of drinking piss, being pissed on, or pissing on someone does not appeal to me so much. Of course, I draw the line between #1 and #2.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 3:29, Reply)

Please may I have another?
Right, I can't sleep, so I'm dropping my dark side into the public domain.

- First of all, if you know me well, you may want to not read any further than this. I'm very much an S&M girl; switch quite very happily and am equally confident in either role. I'm a sadistic bitch when I want to be (which is roughly 50% of the time; it varies depending on my mood) and there is no greater rush for me than hearing "yes, Mistress", and knowing that the person who's said this to you worships you and will do literally anything you ask of them, be it licking your shoes clean or gathering your post and bringing it to you in their mouth on all fours is phenomenal. Restraining them, just out of reach of what they want and teasing them with it until, eventually, you see fit to release them (and the seething mass of hormones they are by the time you do). However, equally hot is someone with a suitably low and gravelly voice telling me what a dirty, filthy whore I am (if he's pulling my hair at the time, so much the better) mid-fuck. Got a nice little cache of nefarious implements at the foot of my bed that grows from time to time. 12" rulers are especially fun.

- Frock coats. Don't know why, since I despise period dramas and all that Mr Darcy nonsense, but put a man in a nice coat like that and I go a bit unnecessary. Long, flappy leather coats, too, are equally lovely on a man.

- Facial hair. Captain Jack Sparrow, Aragorn and Hugh Jackman in Van Helsing have much to answer for where my taste in men is concerned.

- Corsets. It's a restraint thing, but also the way they pull you in and force you to sit up straight. Not to mention they make your cleavage look fantastic! Everyone should try them :)

- If it was up to me, my wardrobe would contain far more PVC, leather and latex than it already does, but sadly it's hard to do on a budget...
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 3:12, 3 replies)

be careful what you wish for
not technically a fetish, but I had always wanted to try a threesome. one night at a house party on ecstasy I, my girlfriend, and a lesbian friend indulged. It was enjoyable, without being shattering. It felt a bit like being in porn video. However a week after the event the lesbian friend turned into a full blown stalker, leaving hundreds of messages on my girlfriends mobile and coming around to our house and office in what was pretty disturbing behaviour. She'd got it into her head that they were now committed girlfriends and was being rejected. this went on for many weeks, and made me a bit gun-shy of suggesting threesomes for years after
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 1:12, Reply)

Hopes that someone, somewhere,
Is turned on by ridiculously drunk uni students who have important lectures tomorrow and are still hideously drunk. Probably not.

Edit: Horrific drunken spelling.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 0:37, 1 reply)

...Leather
I felt nervous as I stepped into the hotel bar of the round house in Bournemouth, I remember standing in the doorway and scanning the room until I spotted my friend. I made my way across the room and slipped onto the stool next to him. I had butterflies in my stomach and felt very self conscious as I sipped at my drink, a slow blush starting to creep up my neck as I seductively crossed my legs, my long leather coat parting slightly.

We sat and had a few drinks: the tension between us almost visible, and after a few cheeky glasses of wine I loosened up somewhat and started to feel incredibly naughty, at which point we decided to make our way up to the hotel room...I followed him out of the bar and into the hotel lift.

Alone in the lift he reached for me and drew me towards him. I felt his wonderfully fit body burning through his shirt, his trouser truncheon practically raping my belly button. He bent his head to kiss me...but fearing interruption from the lift doors opening I resisted...but then my mouth melted beneath his as his tongue caressed mine with such tenderness and delicacy.

Reaching our floor we tumbled out of the lift giddy with desire and made our way to the room. Once inside the door he pushed me hard against the wall and kissed me again. A groan emanated from deep inside him as he struggled to keep the kiss gentle, to slow our dance to a waltz when the wild music playing between us demanded gypsy like gyrations.

Despite his efforts, our kisses graduated from gentle caresses to wild passion. When my hands pulled away from him and began a feather light descent down his back, he failed completely. He crushed my body into his, the kiss blossoming into a full scale assault, neither of us knowing who attacked and who defended. Our tongues mated, again and again, until I was lost in him completely…

…..sorry…got a bit carried away in my memories there…ahem…and back to the qotw…

At this point he parted my long soft black leather coat….to find that all I was wearing beneath was stockings held up by a simple black suspender belt, black lace panties and matching bra.

After the kisses that had me weak at the knees, the feel of the leather coat on my aroused skin drove me completely wild. It was by far the horniest experience I have ever had and from that night forward I get incredibly turned on at the feel of leather - love it!



Length?…….about 5ft from shoulder to stilletto
(serendipita, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 0:30, 4 replies)

was a friends house once
getting pissed, went to the toilet and had a sit down pee. After about 15 seconds the door burst open and she announced, 'your taking too long.' Dropped her jeans and knickers and sat on my lap facing me. I gather this was a practiced maneuver as she got 98% of her piss into the bowl via my cock & balls which gave me the most enormous erection(for a man of my age). This story has no happy ending though; she got off and said 'use the toilet roll to clean up' and before i knew it we were back in the front room watching a film but me having to sit uncortably for about 30 mins.
(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 21:42, 5 replies)

Ladies of Colour
I always had a "thing" about black ladies and put this down to regularly watching lots of black girls playing netball at the sports ground that my parents' garden backed on to. Yep it was the old navy blue knix!!

Mmmm just something about going down on a black woman and seeing the pink inner bits as she gets more turned on and wetter!!!!!
( Vambo, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 21:31, 1 reply)

Hmm...
I sincerely hope Mr Anodyne is turned on by women with manky hair and no make up who cough like a sailor with some kind of hideous foreign lung disease whilst snotting uncontrollably, otherwise I'm not getting any tonight.

I am actually ill and not just normally disgusting.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 28 Oct 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Stockings
My cock gets so hard when its between a pair of stockinged legs. If Mrs Nancy Nylon isn't around to do the honours, then I'll dress up in her size 14's. Hope she doesn't go on a diet. Always does the trick.
(nancynylon, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 19:54, Reply)

you know
when your at the point in teenage life, somewhere between about 17 and 20 something (thats where I am anyway), I think everyone wants to diddle their best mates mum(or their older sister. I dont know what it is about older women that does it for me, it could be the dominating aspect of it, it could be because you hear that they've reached a 'sexual peak' in their lives or the sheer amount of porn online that makes me think that they will pay you in sexual favours to have their dishwasher fixed. I really dont have a clue...
For me though, there will always be something about walking down the street and seeing a complete and utter milf. She could have 7 kids and four shopping bags, completley worshipped by her over protective tatooed, window washing ape of a husband who she only married because he was ok at football in his 20's. You know she just sits at home waiting for the dishwasher repair man to turn up and fuck her till she screams. Honestly gentlemen, without a show of a doubt, my dick probably holds a world record in land speed and it seems to get up quicker than a cheeter after its prey in the african savana.
I fancy a wank now. Good day
(gingerbollocks 'happy and content' since, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 19:43, Reply)

Why oh why,
are all the ladys who have wet silk knickers, penchants for being tied up and dominated all married? God. Selfish or what?
( rgordon00, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 18:27, 16 replies)

Toilet fun?
A friend of mine once recounted this abridged tale of horror. Going into a gents and finding a grotty old chap running croutons around the inside of the urinals then eating them was, apparently, not what was expected. I reckon he was after the pineapple chunks. I don't want to think about the philadelphia substitute.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 17:26, 2 replies)

imagine my disapointment
I just found an envelope with £200 written on it. There is only £190 in it. Theiving bastards.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 17:10, 4 replies)

Denim dresses
... you know, the one piece, zip all the way up front, denim dresses. I had a bird once that had a body like a princess, hourglass and all, and had one of these dresses. One night, we were out in my onion (well, 'twas before midnight so it was still a chariot) and she asked me to pull over and park the thing.

Just as some background, I was a pimple faced little bugger, randy as hell, and had just started being the envy of all my class mates since she was considered as being unreachable to all of us simple minions. Nay, this deity was off limits to all us petty mortals. May a curse be cast over anyone who would dare even think, lest alone approach, of doing anything to this heavenly being.

Being a dark and stormy night, we pulled over, got somewhat confortable (snogging was allowed, anything else was only a wet dream..), when all of a sudden, she starts teasing, lowering the zipper, slowly, excruciatingly, stopping mid way between her breasts..looking at me with this mischevious little smile and asking me how I felt in her angelical girlish little soprano voice, to which I responded to with a baritone/tenor grunt, slurp and 'hurr, scrumpf, bluaaad' stupor.

She carried on drawing the zipper, lowering it 'til she had revealed her pair of smooth, firm pears, with her cherry picked nipples pointing straight at me, invitingly, as if they were parched and required refresing...

After complying with my heavenly princess' tits whim, she carried on drawing, not allowing a meat handed mortal bumble around her holy veil, down, down, until I was able to see, only just, the vestige of her nubile womanhood, uncovered, naked, sans réticents, darkly shaded against her olive skin, beckoning towards me, akin to the fabled Medusa, whose pubis sporting a modest amount of hair, laid down, invitingly as if 'twas a wooly carpet summoning the entrance to a prémiére...

Further on, down, down, followed the zipper its inexorable path, towards its Shangri-La, its Olympus, its Heaven, its Asgard, until the dress opened apart, like a silken cloth, like the Red Sea opening before Moses' wishes, and I had my angel before me, just as the Lord had sent her to this unfathomable world. Pure, smooth, slender, with a body as perfect that Michaelangelo or Botticelli would have been challenged to do it justice..

God, I could just go on and on, but I think ye bods have figured it out. Whenever I see a lass, dressed up in a zipped denim dress, my gonads start misbehaving and I cast myself back, back into the rear seat of my car... Worst part is that from there on, whenever she put that dress on, she owned me. Completely. I would instantly know that there was nothing underneath, so I wold start getting aroused in front of her parents, who, bless them, had no idea of what we were getting up to :-)

My dearest apologies for the length of the story, but just saying that I roar up with a dress would not be doing justice to what this lass (God bless) and dress did to me. Well, 'tis time for me to go - I'm up for a wank after writing all this...
(LazyScumbag, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 17:03, 29 replies)

I heard
of this man who liked knocking one out over a tea bag.

No pun.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 17:02, 1 reply)

I heard
about a guy who could only really get off, if he had sex whilst inside a bin liner, with a canary fluttering around inside it.

How the fuck did he find that out?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 16:59, 3 replies)

the titanic floats my boat
sorry -that was really lame.
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Tom Boys...
You know the really feminine women wearing guys clothes.
Riding clothes, especially if it's the red fox hunting type.

Oh and women in hats, especially cowboy hats. I bought the wife one a few years back. She took it back and swapped it for a bag.

Cow.
(Andy-Bhoy I'm here all week, try the veal., Wed 28 Oct 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Just thought of this one
Welsh girls. I started a new job today and there's a Welsh girl in the office. I spent the morning with an absolute raging horn, which just got worse when she found out I know a bit of Welsh and we had a little conversation over coffee. I was practically bent double by the time I got back to my desk.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 15:40, 10 replies)

Long fingernails
I was about 5 years old when I got 'imprinted' (yup, that's the clinical term). I was watching the 3 Stooges (for our British viewers the 3 Stooges were the absolute lowest common denominator of slapstick humor; sorry humour). The Stooges were captured by 3 amazons who announced they were going to, "love them to death." And, wait for it, when the amazons turned around they were wearing long, extraordinarily fake fingernails. This was the most amazing, erotic thing I had ever seen in all of my five years on this planet and I immediately popped the first woody of my life.

That was it. Ever since I have been aroused by long fingernails (though in later years even shorter but well-manicured nails will do). Mrs. Mad Scientist keeps her nails longish and painted blood red and I couldn't be happier (so remember kids, always tell your significant other about any fetishes you may have so that your relationships have half a chance of working).

Thanks to the interwebs I've discovered that I'm not alone. There's at least 35,000 of us 'nail fetishists' out there. And we all seem to have been imprinted at an early age. Indeed, my research on the subject seems to indicate that the stronger the libido the earlier the imprinting (of whatever your fetish).
(Mad Scientist Z, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 14:56, 2 replies)

Double Amputee... :0$
When I was a young lad of 17 I worked in a record shop. Two of the guys that I worked with knew a hot lass in her late 20's who came in every once in a while, she was fit as, beautiful arse always draped in the tightest light blue Levis... Anyways, neither of them had even copped of with her so I didn't stand any chance right?

Wrong... So, so wrong. She liked boys and I fitted the bill perfectly, being freshly out of puberty with nary a whisker upon my baby like cheeks. One night she arrived late, near closing, and a few of us headed out for drinks, which resulted in us drinking and the banter slipping way under the belt.

What the lads knew and I didn't until about midnight was that she had no legs. Well, about 2/3 of one if you add the stump lengths together... and she liked them to be fondled and smacked pre, mid and post coitus, which the boys were, and still are, blissfully unaware of ;0)

I haven't met anyone like her since and if I did, do I slap her stumps or ask first..? She was all the woman a boy could need. Happy Fucking Days!
(hengushrh is found at the Dole office every second thursday, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 14:22, 4 replies)

Holly
My fetish is mainly for holly. I always get that jolly christmas feel everytime i think about fucking some more holly

Well it was around that time that they caught me

Regards

I.Huntley
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 13:45, 1 reply)