Ok, you can have the secret of my success...
Coconut oil. It's like some kind of miracle substance. You can use it in cooking (substitute butter for coconut oil when making desserts). It's an amazing moisturiser, can be used to do your hair. The best bit is it's amazing for massages and lube, and tastes great! It's usually solid at room temperature but will melt instantly at body temperature so liquifies on contact with the skin. Best of all you'll both smell lovely afterwards and be nice and moisturised!

P.S. avoid the health food shops that sell it for $$. Its about a quid a tub in asian markets.
(SoggyBottomBoy, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 15:10, 4 replies)

And not forgetting
That it has laxative properties.
Everyone's a winner, eh?
( Cawl, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 15:46, closed)

I can't
I had a bit of an incident with a bottle of Malibu at the tender age of 15 and coconut products are off the menu now
(King Keepo has absolutely no idea what he's doing, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 16:09, closed)

Don't tell me
The bottle of Malibu was on the floor....you were stood on a table, cleaning the curtains...naked....you slipped...?
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 17:46, closed)

It
can happen. It happened to my cousin's boyfriends ex sister actually.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 23:09, closed)