Gambling - Personal
Here's a story that, following the homo mathematicus statisticus bollocks below might make some of you smile, others of you grimace and - well, whatever.

Let it be a given that the line between being a smartarse and being a mental is fuzzy at the best of times and that the line can sometimes can be crossed. Agreed? OK. In that case, I gamble every day with my own well-being (and you thought the last one was melodramatic? Ha!).

My major malfunction is that I'm a mental.

I keep a lock-box at home that contains my "rolling-a-seven" plan and instruments/devices necessary (although, to be honest, they plan is committed to memory and I don't need much of anything in the box apart from my other passport to put it to use). It's also got the last letter and my will in it (which I suspect would be challenged but, hey, n'est la vie pas (a wee black joke there for our Francophones)).

My mentalness is kept in check with a fist full of SNRIs every day - 300mg currently, that I know will in time either box my liver (absorption) or cause me to have either a TIA or a stroke (side effects = artifically increased BP).

These SNRIs are great and I've spoken here of them before but it's important to be able to talk this through. If I need to be able to get some of the higher-quality ideas out of my head (or rather, not have the voices in my head silenced) then I need to stop taking them, even for 24 hours. I've tried titrating and it doesn't work - I've got to drop them completely.

That particular 24 hours is a real rollercoaster. I'll start by thinking "what am I doing?", not sleep, and work like an eejit for that 24 hours. Millie (my dog) will not get much attention other than being fed and walked briefly. I'll get tons done and come up with some cracking ideas - including some absolute stormers, if I say so myself - but the effect will be tempered by knowing that when I'm coming up with these ideas, the wee voice generated in my head is reminding me of what a total and complete waste of oxygen and base-pairs (RNA) I am, and suggesting that I go get the lock-box.

I can shut him/her up (the voice changes, regularly) by working but the stereotype mental that people sometimes think of? Sitting in a room in his pants, talking to himself or to an invisible person, getting his thoughts out and unshaven, unwashed, unkempt? Yep, c'est moi.

Thus far, the furthest I've got in my seven-rolling plan is on a plane from the connecting airport I've got to fly through (not telling you which one it is) to one of the waypoints, at which point I got off the plane and took the next one back, arriving home about 18 hours later.

So - there's my gamble. I take it every few weeks or so.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:13, 7 replies)

I hope these great ideas are worth the gamble.
*worries*
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:18, closed)

^This
Fucking hell mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:48, closed)

Utterly this ^
With knobs on.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:10, closed)

sorry
to be thick, but what's "rolling a seven"?
(Hippo_of_Doom, Sat 9 May 2009, 14:10, closed)

rolling a seven =
committing suicide.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sun 10 May 2009, 17:47, closed)

a nervous
click from me.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:57, closed)