it started with a kiss
He was dressed as Harry Potter, if Harry Potter was 22 and cute. I had come as a goldfish. Harry Potter was the best friend of my then-squeeze, the Garden Gnome. As fancy dress events go we had pulled out some but not all of the stops.

Harry Potter and I were getting drunk near the bar. It was late. It was late and it was rather odd. His dad wandered past in a grass skirt and coconut shell bikini. I kept drinking because it seemed like the right thing to do.

"How about a kiss then?" asked Harry. I obliged with a peck on the cheek, leaving a trail of gold glitter across his face.

"No, a kiss like this," sez he, and grabbed Garden Gnome in an entertaining bloke-on-bloke tongue-heavy snog that probably shouldn't have aroused me quite as much as it did.

"I'll have some of that, " I thought, and slid myself between the pair of them, magic wand on one side, fishing rod on the other. In typical drunken fashion, no one seemed to notice, and in fact their parents waved goodbye when we said we were off home for more beer.

My goldfish tail was fastened with velcro, a tip I recommend for any impromptu sexual encounters. Harry Potter was out of that uniform pretty sharpish and Garden Gnome lost the cotton wool beard along with the last of his inhibitions.

It is slightly surreal to wake up between an overgrown boy wizard and a living lawn ornament, but it's even more surreal when the lawn ornament's mother taps politely on the bedroom door to offer toast. Not as surreal though, as hearing one hungover friend explain to another that it was purely by accident that he'd licked his best mate's balls.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:09, 9 replies)

Hahaha, I'm clicking that
just for the last line alone!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:13, closed)

There are so many reasons I should be jealous of this but strangely.....
I'm not.

I think it's the thought of having a threesome with Harry Potter.

Although the Garden Gnome is something to keep in mind for any future role-playing.
( girlinthehole, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:21, closed)

0_o
Only you, CHCB, only you...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:36, closed)

"slightly surreal"?
surely an understatement?

*click*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:54, closed)

Just how do you say
"I am sorry that I licked your balls"? Cue embarrassed silence when ever the story comes up again...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 21:51, closed)

^^ hopefully
not with your mouth full
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 9:02, closed)

This
FTW. I mean, surreal just doesn't cover it! Gave me a good laugh *click*
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 12:03, closed)

i'm dribbling
with laughter. this is lovely, just lovely.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 13:57, closed)

EH!?!?
What the hell type of parties do you go to?
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:51, closed)