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This is a question Best Graffiti Ever

My favourite was a public loo in Oxford where someone had written a huge poem all down the cubicle door. Best bit? Someone else had added detailed literary criticism. Only in Oxford. Have you seen better? Worse? Do tell.

(, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:16)
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This question is now closed.

this is sprayed on a wall outside where i work in eastbourne...

there is another piece of graffiti on the side of a van opposite which
reads "every girl in eastbourne, i want to eat her legs". I find them
utterly inspirational and it always brings a smile to my face first
thing in the morning, to think that there is a girls leg cannibal on
the loose in eastbourne somewhere.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:49, Reply)
unstable dan
A friend once claimed to have seen a carriage circa 1993 with the legend "Inter-shitty" on the side.

Quite appropriate I thought.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:41, Reply)
choo choo!
during the eighties, when british rail still ran the trains, the slogan was
'British Rail, We'll Get You There'

someone ALWAYS wrote, 'EVENTUALLY' or
'FUCKING WHEN?' on the posters.
raised a few giggles it did.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:36, Reply)
bit off topic but
My mate had a nasty experience with an Estate Agency and swore that one day the local Bairstow Eaves shop sign would become

"Bastard Thieves"

not sure if he ever managed it.

limbo dancers.

(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:27, Reply)
Mind the Gap
On a station platform in Surrey is written PLEASE MIND THE GAP and some wit has added BETWEEN THE TIMETABLE AND REALITY, pure genius I tell you!
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:21, Reply)
"Please turn your cock and cut the troll provided"
Was what all the signs on the University of York canteen tables used to read in the mid-90s, thanks to the crafty removal of letters from "Please return your crockery and cutlery to the trolley provided". It's the idea of a troll being officially provided that still makes me giggle.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:10, Reply)
Cardiff Uni Engineering Department
Pretty much every desk I sat at in my 4 years there had a finely drawn Wu-Tang Clan symbol on it.

Not sure if the following was the same guy, but with a very similar pen there were some fantastic drawings of some of our lecturers, and a particularly good one of Batman* I seem to remember.

It now occurs to me that this is neither interesting nor amusing


*Batman was not one of our lecturers more's the pity**
**I had to pay for private tuition*** from him
***no I don't mean sex with someone dressed as Batman
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:05, Reply)
Dirty Van
Written on the back of a dirty van.

"Clean me."

Still makes me laugh, even today.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:49, Reply)

Click for a bigger pic..
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:37, Reply)
This is written several times around my local station in N London, in huge letters and in quite inaccessible places. I have no idea what it means and every time I see it I wonder why someone has gone to so much effort to spread their message.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:36, Reply)
aha ha ha
A long time ago, in a hat factory far away. Well, Stockport - I used to be in charge of sending boxes of hats out of the factory to various retailers.
Not having a bin as such - the cleaning lady took it upon herself to label one of the cardboard boxes as the designated rubbish receptacle.

Commandeering a marker pen, she adorned the said box as follows - "RUBBIS".
After she'd gone, I added underneath - "BI".

In addition - scattered around the factory were other literary gems such as 'SEX', 'HOME TRADE BOYS ARE GAY - BY THE EXPORT BOYS' and my personal favourite 'MAGGIE TATCHER SUCK COCK'.

I sure wouldn't like to be Maggie Tatcher right now.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:31, Reply)
oh that reminds me......
in the UCI cinema, (now an odious Odeon), a good many years ago now, someone had clearly stood on the back of seats in the back row, and scrawled 'PRICK' with a big arrow pointing to the projectionists booth!

It wasnt there next time I went, but it made me larf.
Which was good, as it was chick flick Id seen with a now ex and I had effing hated it!
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:17, Reply)
The tunnel from the iMax theatre to Waterloo station...
The one with all those poems printed on the walls in a celtic style font?

One bit says "like briars in my thick hair."

Someone scrawled 'Richard' just above where the word 'Briars' was.

Uterly lame but always mad me smile. Gone now though...
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:09, Reply)
Just up the road from where I used to live...
...there's a tiny village called Catthorpe.

Someone has changed the signs with the name of the village to read completely differently.

One now says "FORD ORION", and the other I unfortunately can't remember. They even shine at night like real signs.

I'll try and get some pictures if I go near the place soon...
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:06, Reply)
If you have ever been to Chain Lane in St. Helens....
This has been a mainstay of the the garaffiti that has covered the shops

"Erroll Sux Cox 4 Rox".

Fantastic, the name is even interchangable.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 10:00, Reply)
Effluent Tanker
Seen on an Effluent (pooh) tanker, somewhere near Woking in Surrey:

'No Stools Left In This Vehicle Overnight'
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:56, Reply)

(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:41, Reply)
On a little gravel road going nowhere much...
...there was a tiny carefully planted sign on a lolly stick proclaiming "THIS is where Melinda stubbed her toe."
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:40, Reply)
one leg?
For years and years I passed under a bridge decorated with "Johnny Rumped the Flying Hop" on my way to work.

Then one day, it had been painted over and I arrived at work a little pissed off.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:34, Reply)
On the back of a van
I wish your wife was this dirty
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:33, Reply)
Best Graffiti Ever
The worryingly segregated Queen Elizabeth College in Leicester; sitting down for a crap in a cubicle in the library I spot "White people are gay, honky motherfuckers" on the wall. Beneath it I write "Racists are just cunts".
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:28, Reply)
Leyton, North East London....
On a derelict house in Leyton in the late 80s: "Why bother?" in big letters visible from the train every bloody morning. Really set you up for the day.

Years later, going past the same house, someone had added "Why not?" in equally big letters. Sort of uplifting and defiant. I like to think it was the same bloke and things were going a bit better for him now.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:27, Reply)
On the back of a (very mucky) white van
I wish my wife was this dirty
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:25, Reply)
On a bridge in Orpington, sometime back in the 70's, never understood what it meant:

(, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:15, Reply)
Secterian idiots
This was wrote on the toilets in the university of ulster - Jordanstown

For those who don't know a "taig" is a catholic person, and the "taigs" owned N. Ireland before the English colonized it with the plantations in the 16th and 17th Centuries


Guy 1 "Taigs if you dont like ulster fuck off back home..cunts"

Guy 2 "Ulster is out home ballbag"
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 8:51, Reply)

was "year 12's important" apparantly
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 8:31, Reply)
One more
In Aberdeen, someone changed the sign for Canal Street to "anal treet"

EDIT: apparently this isn't a rarity. Apologies.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 7:52, Reply)
Brutally simplistic
I used to work at a branch of DM Design in high school. I was a cold caller and I hated it. After three months I was given the choice of quitting or being fired and I chose to quit.

Anyway, outside this branch of DM Design someone had etched in large, exuberant letters the words "DM FUCK"
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 7:49, Reply)
An Employer who cares
I work for an arm of the mighty corporate beast that is DHL. Written in large letters on the back wall of a toilet cubicle is "DHL loves your cock" Perhaps this is part of a new employee welfare scheme?
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 7:35, Reply)
Cornish graffiti
When you drive to Cornwall (in your horseless carriage that's bound to frighten the locals) you'll be able to tell when you're close as not only will you have crossed the Taymar but walls by the road will have Cornish flags daubed on them as well as the slogan 'KERNOW BIS VICKEN' (Cornwall is great).

But on the Atlantic highway (A39- the non main road between Cornwall and Devon) the "Welcome to Cornwall" sign has spray painted on it: LOCALS ONLY.

It's a local county, for local people. And their sisters.
(, Wed 9 May 2007, 6:40, Reply)

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