Childish and stupid...dogs
I live near a large common which i walk through most days in the summer (see earlier posts).

Now, I love most animals, but I am not too keen on dogs. It is just that during the summer, when I am still suited from work, I really do not want some shitty little mutt covering me in their slobber. Dry cleaning bills are not cheap and when it dries it looks a lot like someone has covered me in spunk. Not a good look. Especially as there are lots of kids on the common and it makes me look like some wanking peado kidfiddler.

So

Whenever I see a dog approaching I chuck an imaginary stick in the other direction. I love the confusion on their little faces as they spin and start running, stop, look back at me, turn around again, stare, turn around at me, see me chuck another imaginary stick, turn and run, stop, look confused, look at me, see me chuck another etc etc.
If you get it right you can edge them closer to a tree – so far I have manged to make two dogs run head first into trees. The tree always come out better.

It makes me laugh every single time
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 18:19, 1 reply)

I used to
chuck a boomerang on a football field for a dog that loved to chase sticks. He could never figure out why I always still had the thing when he turned around, even though he definitely saw me throw it each time...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 19:35, closed)