Guilty SecretsWe were shocked - nay, disgusted - to read on an internet discussion forum of a chap's confession that his darkest, guiltiest secret was that he recently cracked one out over press photos of tragic MILF Kate McCann. He reasoned that "she's a good Catholic girl and looks dirty, so she'd probably go bareback".
What guilty secrets can you no longer keep to yourself?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 12:22)
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shitty rugWhen i was about 13 we went to have christmas at my posh, scary great aunt's house. She's a total neat freak and her house was chintzy and immaculate. I had just had a shit and was sitting on the avacado toilet admiring the truely terrible decor, having a pre-wipe ponder. Something shiny struck my eye just out of reach (i forget what) so i stood up to pick it up, took a step and felt a dingleberry drop onto the spotless white sheepskin rug beneath me.
I don't know if you'd had to wipe up shit from sheepskin using nothing but tissue and toiletries, but it's not easy. The brown stain kept spreading the more I scrubbed and the smell of faecaes filled the air. So I did what anyone would do and snuck away and have never mentioned the incident to anyone since. I have kept my dark, putrid shame bottled up inside me for over 10 years. But no more! everyone shall know about my faecal incontinence and rugs smeared with pubescent shit. Hurrah!
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 16:37, Reply)
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