Cross Country Cheating
Apologies in advance for length...

When I was younger I used to be quite good at cross country running and represented my school and county.

Anyway, i used to work for the Benefits Agency and they have (or at least used to anyway) a Sports Division for inter-Departmental teams, etc.

I joined up and heard about a cross country race so thought I'd give it a go. (OK - I was more interested in the day off work without it affecting my annual leave.)

Less than a week before the start of the race I had a 3 mile run - I was knackered and realised how unfit i was.

Day of the race - got there nice and early, looked around and saw a load of old blokes - no problems thinks I, tactics - start from the front and go from there.

Race instructions - 3 laps of a 1.5 mile course - through woods and involves a couple of hills.

Race starts and reality strikes home. Hard. I start strong and within half of the first lap I am overtaken by everybody. Including all the coffin dodgers.

Gets to the end of the first lap and I am last.

Round the corner of the second lap I collapse behind a bush.

Lying there struggling to breathe properly I work out i have 3 choices :-

1. Carry on as I am and finish last - humiliation for myself.

2. Limp back to the start line with a pretend muscle pull or some other injury

3. Cheat

it is to my shame I chose option 3. I laid low for another 10 minutes or so and waited for a few people to pass me by. I then rejoined the race. i was overtaken by a few more people and as they approached the finish line at the end of their third lap - so did I (just 1 lap less than they did). Coming in a decent point scoring place would have been too obvious so in the end I made sure I was mid table medicority - 11th out of 45 runners.

This way I got a day off work, decent position and praise from those back at work and saved myself from humiliation.

I got away with it completely and no-one twigged on, or at least if they did, they kept it to themselves.

When it came to the offer for me to attend the road race though I declined. Couldn't guarantee that anyone could give me a lift if I got a bit tired again.

Thanks for allowing me to share. I feel better for that
(brocky, Sat 1 Sep 2007, 21:43, Reply)