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This is a question Guilty Secrets

We were shocked - nay, disgusted - to read on an internet discussion forum of a chap's confession that his darkest, guiltiest secret was that he recently cracked one out over press photos of tragic MILF Kate McCann. He reasoned that "she's a good Catholic girl and looks dirty, so she'd probably go bareback".

What guilty secrets can you no longer keep to yourself?

(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 12:22)
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I think my handbasket's being made ready for me now.
I'm almost certain I'm a terrible person, as I have minimal guilt about most of these.

- Made my parents feel guilty about throwing away/breaking my things (which may not have actually happened), therefore getting them to buy replacements/other things.

- Being friendly to boys only because I knew I would get gifts out of it (insert gratuitous hint-dropping). (In my defense, I told some of them outright that this was what I was doing. They still insisted on us being friends.)

- Faked illness to get out of family gatherings/events I really should have been there for. (Babies, weddings, funerals, etc.)

- Lied. Lots. Most were minor incidents, but there are some I really am sorry for. (I.e. getting lost on a school trip, being forgotten by the buses, then using the subsequent guilt trip and "trauma" to score better lodgings.)

- Ran over something once, but couldn't be arsed to stop and see to the poor beastie, on account of I was terrified of my crew coach and what would happen to me if I went late. (Honestly, the damn stupid thing waited until I had no time to brake--and then ran out and stood in front of my tyres. I think I may have actually helped it along.)

- I'm going to uni for free, as my father works there, yet put no effort into any coursework whatsoever. I'm an ungrateful bastard.

- What little pocket money I get from my part-time work goes into new toys and gadgets, despite mounting credit card debt.

- I've been working on a small business with three others. Despite having done the least work, I would have the same amount of ownership as the others, yet would also lose the least, should it go bottom-up.

Sorry for lack of funny (unless yours are worse, in which case it's very amusing).

Oh, and I also used to own Enya and N*Sync CDs, and listened to them constantly.

There's more, but I've repressed as much as I can. I hope to be an honest, upstanding citizen one day--but I doubt it.

Edit: Ooh, one more. I used to have a crush on the conductor of my youth orchestra. No clue why, as he was short, balding, quite probably gay, and irritating as fuck.

Edit 2: Remembered again. Guilty conscience, perhaps? I have a small stash of rude pictures I drew when the hormones first started attacking. I don't want to throw them out in case someone finds them, and I don't want to build a fire--no idea if the parents ever came across them, but if they did, they haven't brought it up anyway.

Last one, I promise! I try to act cool and independent, when in fact I'm spoiled, sheltered, and financially irresponsible. What's sad is that it seems to work--some people do think I'm awesome, but they might just be bigger losers than I am. Errr.
(, Tue 4 Sep 2007, 20:47, Reply)

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