But are you sure?
When I was little and in primary and secondary school, I hung out with the 'smart' kids, as I was in some sort of advanced program. That was fine and acceptable. In my first or second year of college I found a job at a small retail store in a nearby mall, and I'm very close with some of the people I met there to this day. This was decidedly Not Fine - god forbid someone should work behind a register and try to earn a bit of pocket change.

I suppose I was exempt from their scathing generalizations, being their only child, but anyone else who'd ever worked in the mall was obviously a worthless good-for-nothing who'd never be anything more than a lowly register monkey, doomed to their one job for all eternity. I wish I was exaggerating.

I even invited a couple of them over to meet my parents once - dumb idea but I'd figured if they'd gotten to know them, they'd see that they were perfectly nice. My father grilled them for an hour on the universities they were attending and whether or not they were accredited. I got an earful after they left, for hanging around 'people who'd never gone to a proper school'. Oh, and they were smokers, and liked videogames and the occasional refreshing alcoholic beverage. Worst of all, they were men, and everyone knows proper girls don't have male friends.

The horror.

Anyway - my mother was and still is the more open-minded one, but was worried when I began getting 'too close' to one aforementioned friend. We joke about being married and will do couple-y things in public like hugging or holding hands, but as he's gay it's just harmless fun and keeps anyone from trying to pick up either of us (ok, it's never happened to me, but it could...someday...maybe). Which preceded the following conversation:

Mom: I want to talk to you.
Me: Yes?
Mom: It's about that...boy. Are you sure you're not...you know?
Me: rolling eyes I'm sure. We're not "you know". He's gay.
Mom: Really?
Me: Yes, don't worry about it. We're just friends.
Mom: But are you sure he's gay?
Me: I'm sure.
Mom: You should be careful around men, you know. Anyway, are you really sure he's gay?
Me: Argh
etc.

No mum, he's only been going to gay bars and bringing men home because it could all be some wild elaborate plan to get in my pants. Because the first thing I'd do after being told that one of my best friends had been lying about himself for years, just to seduce me, would be to dive into a passionate whirlwind relationship full of sex and more sex. Right? Of course.
(Rem Sir, why are you thrashing about on the floor?, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 16:37, 2 replies)

Mum fancied him
methinks
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 17:47, closed)

When you say "advanced program"
was it a gulag?
(MrTerrorbag kills the elderly to save the economy., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 15:39, closed)