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This is a question I'm going to Hell...

...because I said the Lord's Prayer backwards at a funeral to summon up the Goat of Mendes, Freddie Woo tells us. Tell us why you're doomed.

Thanks to Kaol for the suggestion

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:09)
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I'm Ashamed Of This
.
There's no excuse. It was intellectual bullying, pure and simple.

In the early 80's I was on a piss-up in the God-Forsaken town of Hexham, Northumberland. There were about 20 of us in my crowd and we were drinking our way across town having fun and being loud.

So there I was. Standing at the bar when the door opened and a little old man came in, dressed in his Sally Army uniform and flogging copies of the Warcry. So the Devil whispered in my ear and I confronted him.

I asked him about his belief in God, what he believed and why he believed it. The I tore his simple,humble arguments to shreds and gave him an alternative, possibly more realistic, view of what happened during the birth of Christ.

He was a Alien. All the evidence pointed to it.

Virgin Birth? - A spaceman in his luminous white suit artificially inseminated Mary.

The Star that appeared over Bethlehem when Jesus was born? - A spacecraft hovering overhead to keep and eye on the birth.

The Three Wise Men? - Aliens come to check up on Jesus.

There were a few more and I really got to the old man. When I finished my drink and left the pub he was crying and shouting after me:

"Jesus isn't an alien!! He isn't...."

Good one Legless. Destroy an old man's lifetime of faith just to show how clever you are.

Ticket to Hull please.....

Cheers
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 4:42, 10 replies)
I've always thought
that people are better off confronting a harsh truth than clinging to a false comfort. Not that religion is necessarily a false comfort, who am I to say, but if he'd never questioned his faith, then what kind of faith is it?

Mind you I think I probably think this cause I seretly want people to be miserable.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:37, closed)
True
but some people are just so set in their ways that any new thought pattern is inconceivable to them. They were brought up that way, the friends and family think that way and that is the way they think the Universe is ordered. They lack the mental capacity to think any other way.

Then along comes drunken, smart-mouthed Legless, to tear it all down yet offer nothing in it's place.

It's not big or clever to argue with people who you can run rings around because they never had the education I did. It's like kicking a puppy.

Ever since that night I've tried not to do it again.

Cheers
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 8:44, closed)
I'm not religious but Sally Army people are lovely and I have a thing for brass bands.
You pushed your beliefs on him. He was just collecting for charity.

Shame on you young master Legless.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:51, closed)
I like the Sally Army
I know it's christmas when I see them playing on Oxford Street.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:26, closed)
Agreed

(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:58, closed)
Not religeous
But the Salvation army do some good work. Shame on you. Now mines a pint
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:27, closed)
why is calling jesus an alien clever?
funny, yes...
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:18, closed)
I quite like Hexham
Of course depending on how long ago this was it may have improved.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:21, closed)

it has since 1983 or whenever Legless was on the lash - but still lots of old ppl in front of you at lunchtime when you're trying to buy a sarnie.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:43, closed)
And Dontino's
is now called Studio. For the love of fuck.
(, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 21:24, closed)

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