There's always one person...
in a group of friends that you dislike and therefore they are the people who automatically volunteer to be midly bullied and have the best of pranks played on them.
In this situation my mates name is Ash (his real name is Ashley but i've changed it for obvious reasons) The main reason we all dislike him is due to the fact he's a complete idiot, which is also why he's had 9 jobs in 2 years.

One fateful night Myself Ash and Matty (who isn't of much significance but i thought i'd throw him in) travelled to the local shopping centre so Ash could hand in some of his brilliatly pathetic CV's. He had to do this because he had recently lost his job of one month because he was too slack.

Ash was driving, Matty was distracting and i was sat in the back. Alone. With 15 CV's. Each four pages long. Stapled together. and I was Armed with a pen.
The following 5 minutes were spent altering his CV, naturally the pages hidden from view.
The next 45 minutes flew buy as Matty and I tried to contain our laughter as Ash trooped round each shop asking for vacancies and occasionally handing CV's in.

By the end of the night every CV was handed in at someplace or another. River Island, Next, TopMan and HMV were a few of many places to recieve a CV.

4 Weeks later and he hasnt had a single reply.
He is still jobless and confused about why no one has even bothered to send a rejection letter.

I suspect it may have something to do with the fact, that on the last page of each CV, underneath his references, in large black block capitals was the sentance;

'P.S IM A PAEDOPHILE'
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:09, 6 replies)

Any CV over 2 pages gets binned anyway.
The same goes for any CV printed in Times New Roman typeface.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:11, closed)

whats the best font then?
arial?
( tickle I was away, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:14, closed)

That's a good one (it's what I use).
Comic Sans gets you blacklisted from gainfull employment for the rest of your life.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:18, closed)

For a moment
I thought that said "anal".

I need new glasses.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:37, closed)

Wingdings no good then?
Thought not.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:21, closed)

Use Copperplate Gothic.
Or if you really want to get binned, use GothicE.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:37, closed)