Knew I was going there at an early age..
Picture this, I grew up in a small Cornish Village at the heart of which was a Methodist church where I was forced to go to Sunday School. I was 11 and had long ago decided that the whole religion thing was not for me.

I think it was about 1983 and I had just began to develop an interest in Heavy Metal and Iron Maiden in particular.

It was just before Christmas and the church had decided that the older members of Sunday School would each read a passage of their choosing from the Bible at one of the services leading up to Christmas.

I chose a passage and duly practiced it for the few weeks preceeding the big day. However, on the day an 11 year old Vauxhall Burgundy approached the pulpit, placed a hand firmly on each side and fixed the congregation with a manic glare and proceeded to deliver the opening spoken lines from 'Number of the Beast'.

Nobody stopped me and when I had finished a sea of horrified faces stared at me. I stood back, took and bow and left - never went back to Sunday school, the Minister had a word with my parents and suggested that my attitude wasn't quite right!

So not only am I going straight to Hell but I also got expelled from Sunday School!
(Vauxhall Burgundy, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 13:37, 1 reply)

But in what style..
I wish I'd thought to do that. Pure genius!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 15:07, closed)