Women are definitely NOT hypocrites…

I remember a wise old man, with a nod and a wink, once telling me the old adage:

“Women may say ‘no’, but they really mean ‘yes’!”

They fucking well don’t, you know.

In my experience, when a woman says ‘No’, she usually means:

“No, no, no, no, NO!, fucking hell no!, a trillion times no, for the love of scented flap-wipes, NO!, not if you were the last sperm-creating life-form on the planet, NO!, Stop touching me there…I said NO!...just because my nipples tend to poke out like a Japanese fighter pilot’s thumbs, that is no reason to try and twiddle them like you’re attempting to tune in a 1950’s radio…NOooOO!, are you still here? Do I have to fetch the police…AGAIN? Why won’t you respect the restraining order? NOOOOO! Get it through your thick, fucking ugly head…I SAID NO! NO! NOOoooooooooooo...”

Thankfully, it’s usually about then that the Royhpnol kicks in.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:53, 12 replies)

Hehe!
The only time a women means yes when she says no is when you ask her if your willy is too small.
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:56, closed)

Or
"Am I being a jerk?"
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:58, closed)

Or
"Is something the matter?"
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 15:36, closed)

So you were LYING that time...?

I feel such a fool now for driving all the way home with it dangling out of the window with pride...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:58, closed)

Ah Rohypnol
.
Means you never have to say you're sorry.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:56, closed)

In my considered sleazy experience...
'No' means 'yes', and 'yes' means 'anal'.


/coat
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:03, closed)

Hmm.
Have I slept with you?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 13:30, closed)

Possibly...
I was the one that insisted that we do it in a church tower...


ring any bells?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 13:43, closed)

I thought
you were the one banging me hard on the running track?

jog your memory?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 16:33, closed)

That's brilliant!
You're getting a click for that! And a criminal record.....
(The Stig, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:05, closed)

getting?
Surely by now he already has one? After all, his puns are most certainly criminal...
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:45, closed)

Ha!
Nice! *click*
( SpankyHanky, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:32, closed)