I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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It still brings tears to the eyes....Many moons ago when I was at the University of Smogland (Middlesborough) I had arranged at dirty weekend meet up with my then girlfriend who was working back up in civilisation (Newcastle).
Being young and away from the g/f is a hard thing in more than one way so when she phoned and said "I have a stinking cold I don't think I should come down this weekend" it took all my powers of persuasion to say "damn the cold! I'll take that risk"
Anyway to cut a long story short, after much tea and sympathy, followed by vodka and lemsip cocktails she seemed back to her normal self, namely hornier than a Rhino's nose.
At this point her head proceeded southwards, I was thinking the weekend was turning out better than I'd hoped when she let out an almighty sneeze and her jaw clamped shut on my tackle, cue searing agony that could only be equalled by listening to 35 hours of Chris Moyles.
It not easy to stagger to A&E with your knob dripping blood and snot encrusted pubes. I still have top and bottom scars to this day.
Apologies for length, they managed to graft it back on.
(, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 16:44, Reply)
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