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This is a question Insults

Last week two kids ran past me, one chasing the other. As they passed, the little boy turns to the girl chasing him and screams, "go away, you, you... you GIRLPANTS."

She stopped dead, cut to the core. Well, sort of. Anyway, we've added it to our repertoire, but are keen to expand further our sweary lexicon. What's the best insult you've heard? How effective was it? How did they retaliate?

(, Thu 4 Oct 2007, 12:48)
Pages: Latest, 50, 49, 48, 47, 46, ... 1

This question is now closed.

Old next door neighbours
Were decidedly of the chav.

Both in their 50s, he had only one lung, she suffered from emphasyma. The resulting racket, combined with creaking of what was presumably a rickety bed sounded like someone gargling raw eggs while being accompanied by a intermittent football rattle.

Being short of oxygen though, such couplings were mercifully short.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:22, Reply)
Is there time to tell the involuntary-voyeur-pissing-family story before the question closes?

Actually, I might keep that for a future question... over to the suggestions page, then!
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:18, Reply)
We had
a couple upstairs from us... every Sunday morning it was grunt! groan! squeal!

This went on for weeks. One day I get fed up, stuck my head out of the window and shouted "Will you please shut her the fuck up and stick it in her gob!"

We never heard them shagging again.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:15, Reply)
what's the betting....
that the new qotw doesn't appear till tomorrow?

edit: wooo!! vipros takes the half century!
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:13, Reply)
Some friends of mine used to give their flatmate and his other half ice-skaters' marks (5.8, 5.9, 4.7, 5.9...) the morning after based on the quality of the grunts and screams.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:13, Reply)
not long now....
and we hit 50 pages.

Give yourselves a hearty pat on whichever body part you feel will benefit most.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:12, Reply)
I have a married 'friend'.
I would backstroke open-mouthed through a sea of piss to suck his wife's miscarried fetus off his cock.

Is that an insult or a compliment?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)
Since I started it...
There was the being walked in on by Ms Enzyme's brother in her 'rents' livingroom - I'd heard the front door opening, she hadn't, and I couldn't arrange anything dignified by the time he blundered in...
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)
is there a word for forced voyeurism?
because the ever-multiplying chav drug-dealing dole-scrounging family who used to live across the road from us would regularly force the entire street to eavesdrop on their raucous sweaty animal grunts and groans as they humped and writhed and screamed through every single Sunday morning as everyone else was doing respectable things like washing cars and diy.

it was like listening to feeding time at the seal enclosure only the participants were less attractive and not as clean.

so thanks for reminding me.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:11, Reply)
Reminds me
Of the time I was entertaining ex-Mrs PJM on the sofa. Our cat was so fed up with sitting by the front door waiting to be let out that he jumped up and opened the door himself, giving the whole street a nice view of my pasty white arse.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:08, Reply)
That's so wierd! - It reminds me of a repressed memory of a time when a few mates and I found ourselves drunkenly wandering around a park late at night and we came across (steady there, Enzyme) some forty-something bloke stood in the middle of a bridge with his grots round his ankles, violently cracking one off into the stream below, his face contorted and his jester's shoes fully curled up.

I thought I'd successfully erased that from my memory....cheers for that
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:04, Reply)
There was that one time at an ex's girlfriends house getting jiggy with it in the living room - and I dont mean the missionary position while forgetting that the window was not covered by curtains or nets.

And it was a posh area.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:03, Reply)
Missus blouse
Isn't that something they'd use on Blue Peter to make something nice?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:02, Reply)
DIY voyeur conjurs up a picture of a boy with a carboard tube and a pack of tissues.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 12:00, Reply)
i really don't want to remember the bloke giving himself an enthusiastic tug outside the car when I was...

no no no I will NOT remember. Repression is a good thing for some memories.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:57, Reply)
stories about how you were unwittingly a voyeur, or were be-voyeured (?) by others. Got a couple of stories like that. Let's hijack the QOTW. It needs it.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:55, Reply)

and anyway - surely we all have good imaginations here and can be kind of DIY voyeurs.

actually that sort of makes me feel a bit sick..
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:54, Reply)
How can it be voyeurism with no piccies.

whats the word for reading in - instead of watching in.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:52, Reply)
Lovely stuff!
b3ta voyeurism...
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:51, Reply)
For a moment there
I thought that this was a genuine announcement of a new QOTW on voyeurism. Bah.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:51, Reply)
b3ta voyeurism now available on off topic Thursday
(, Thu 11 Oct 2007, 11:50, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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