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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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Back in Soviet Russia...
My dad was technically a lieutenant. I say technically because he never did a days army work in his life. The thing is that in those days, everyone who attended university had compulsory military training once a week at the Officers academy nearby. Some people also went there full time but by all accounts they were thick as a hammer.

As my dad tells it, most people slept through the classes - which was okay, since everything they were taught was obsolete anyway. They had one week of field training just before graduation, where they were expected to operate tanks... after having been taught the theory on wheeled vehicles, which worked differently.

But they still all graduated. Because, like I said, Soviet officers weren't required to be particularly intelligent. There's a joke that goes something like this:

Major (yelling at recruits): A Soviet officer has to be able to hammer a nail in with his HEAD! You there! Hold this nail against that wall! BANG.
*nothing happens*
Major: *takes a run up* BANG. What the?
Lieutenant: *runs out and comes back* Sorry, sir, the Colonel was leaning on the other side of the wall!

...in conclusion, In Soviet Russia Army Joins YOU.
(, Sat 25 Mar 2006, 11:19, closed)

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