Parsely
The world's most pointless herb.

The bistro down my local makes a crackingly addictive club sandwich I sup upon pretty much every visit...except for one thing - always a massive sprig of parsley just bunged down on the plate next to it...casting spurious aspersions upon my chips...now just what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

Am I supposed to remove the load-bearing toothpicks to un-pin & risk great disaster upon the structural integrity of my entire sandwich to insert it inside?...Am I supposed to sit there with it clenched in my fist & just munch upon it, as the slow kid with a helmet would eat a daisy in the corner of the playground when he thought nobody was watching?...Not fucking likely sunshine...so I have started a silent protest by always just leaving it in the coin slot of the poker machine nearest the exit as I leave the bistro area.

Take THAT only herb that stirs up such irrational rebelliousness within me - Fight the power.
(Ecky Thump Mozzarella you eh?!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, 18 replies)

Parsley? Again?
That's the second time this qotw. Who knew something as innocuous as parsley could be so detested?
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, closed)

Really?...How marvellous, I suddenly feel so alive!...Unlike the parsley upon my plate which is always as dead as a doornail.
(Ecky Thump Mozzarella you eh?!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:52, closed)

I guess that's why it's in a QOTW of irrational hatreds

(Smale is stuffed, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:04, closed)

Worth the rehash for ....
"slow kid with a helmet" Click!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:07, closed)

Never eat the garnish.
But parsley is also over-rated.

*click*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:15, closed)

Ah, garnish yes a fair point & indeed you are correct - eating the garnish would be a sheer mug's go...and I guess understand the concept of garnish for something unremittingly dull like...pumpkin soup perhaps - which could be considered the tax accountant of the food world. Don't agree with it, mind - but I understand...Much as I understand why tax accountants are often found wearing tartan dickie-bow ties - both things done under the misapprehension that it makes them more 'interesting'.

However, if you want to make a club sandwich sexier - just slap on a slice of cheese...Mmmmm oh yes, sexy, sexy cheese!...But for fuck's sake - why give it a wee bunch of flowers??

If I can't eat it - get it the fuck off my plate and put another chip there is my firm philosophy!
(Ecky Thump Mozzarella you eh?!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:34, closed)

If I can't eat it - get it the fuck off my plate and put another chip there is my firm philosophy!
I am with you on this one 100%.

Nearly any food can be made to look attractive without resorting to garnish, but that doesn't stop many people.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:14, closed)

You chew on it afterwards
and it freshens your breath
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:21, closed)

I do not!!*




* Do some people actually really do this?...How does one spot them ahead of time if so, so they may be avoided and/or slapped forcefully across the back of the head?

Parsley breath.....erghh!
(Ecky Thump Mozzarella you eh?!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:39, closed)

It nullifies the effect of garlic on your breath.
So you get the benefits of healthy heart without smelling like a Frenchman's armpit.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 16:12, closed)

Unless his name is Ermintrude then this advice can climb aboard the fuck off train.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:40, closed)

I like the sound of the fuck off train
I may advise people to board it often.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 16:49, closed)

'The fuck off train is now arriving at platform 2,
I invite you to board it.'

not actually directed at SLVA, sorry!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 16:57, closed)

I could eat a field of it
I love it. My breath still stinks like a badger's arse though.
( SteamedCleaner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 17:16, closed)

It depends on the dish, generally.
Parsely can be used to give a bit of flourish and a bit of colour to an otherwise bland plate(think the dull colour of a pumpkin soup, or something equally dull)

When I make a blended, rather than chunky soup at work, I usually throw in a few drops of single cream and a few bits of chopped parsley to add a little bit of colour and life to an otherwise boring as shit plate.

I agree with a full sprig of the stuff on a sandwich though. Its a waste of time. And as far as I'm aware, parsley being able to nullify garlic on your breath is horsehockey. Consider the general amount of garlic used in a lot of dishes, compared with one tiny little sprig of plant, and it doesnt add up. I will do some experiments at work and see.

I prefer to use something more interesting as a garnish on my plates. Maybe mint on a tomato sauce, or rosemary and dill with lamb, for example. Its not a huge difference, but its a change from parsely.
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 18:09, closed)

Garlic cancelling is genuine. Not making it up.
Experiment away. Ask the French.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 18:36, closed)

Bloody French.
Yeah, I did the experiment. It does work. I cant fathom it.

I hate accuracy sometimes.
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 22:25, closed)

I absolutely love parsley! especially when there is a sprig floating in your bowl of soup
In fact, I think parsley is soup-herb
(tubeman trousers, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 18:45, closed)