Recruitment agents, eh? Tch.
Having opened the paper one morning and discovered that the DotCom bubble had burst spectacularly, I grudgingly accepted that I would have to find a proper job in the real world. Which meant I had to deal with recruitment agents. I never met the one I had to deal with, Gus, but I can picture him exactly: tall, loud, alpha-male, shiny suit, expensive (but fake) watch, plays squash every Thursday with Gavin from accounts.

He asked me what I would consider to be a perfect job. Apart from the techical stuff, and the kind of money I hoped for, I mentioned that I'd ideally like to do something which was "socially useful". This threw him. Despite trying to explain what I meant, he was clearly struggling with the concept.

I went for several interviews, and the third one let him know that they would like to offer me a job. Unfortunately, it was a company that made software for Estate Agents. I agonized, because it was the first actual offer I'd had, but eventually told Gus that I didn't want to work in the world of Estate Agents, since it wasn't what I'd consider "socially useful". Unqualified money-grabbing leeches who charge obscene fees for doing fuck-all, apart from misleading their clients, lying to the buyers and cocking up any paperwork. Is what I really meant.

Again, Gus didn't understand. He asked if it was a question of more money. I tried to explain that there was more to a job than the paycheck, but I could hear the sound of his forehead creasing in confusion. Eventually I gave up trying to explain, and stopped answering Gus's calls. I now work in the world of education, which suits me nicely.

Finally, I've always wondered what the interview to be a recruitment agent would be like... I mean, you're turning up unemployed, so by definition you're shit at your job...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 11:07, 4 replies)

I worked briefly with a chap who'd previously been a recruitment agent.
He was a complete dick.

Apparently he'd left his recruitment role because he wasn't nearly a complete enough dick to tolerate his colleagues.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 11:31, closed)

I have ONE recruitment agent who is any good at what they do
And any number who just won't take a hint and go away.

One even sent us details of one of our own employees. Without his knowledge or permission. He wasn't looking for a job and was extremely embarrassed.
( chthonic, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 11:36, closed)

yeah happened to me once
But perversely got a pay rise out of it as they were convinced I was intending to leave, and they wanted to retain me. haha. Thanks mystery recruitment cunt.
( rofl harris, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 17:17, closed)

90% of them are just telephone sales jockeys.
They do a quick and dumb text search for vaguely relevant key words and then puke a million CVs into your inbox.They deserve as much respect as the cunts who cold call about saving money on your utilities.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 17:17, closed)