Me and my Satanic friends
I fancied myself a bit of a sk8r punk in the late 80s. I never got good at skating, I just sat off to the side, smoked cigarettes and tried to look menacing. Me and my friends would run around town and hang out in abandoned warehouses, loading docks, etc, trying to find places to skate. Our favorite place, I shit you not, was the old sewage treatment plant (although that would be the best place to shit you - har har). The holding pools for the floaters and sinkers made nearly perfect half-pipes.

We did a bit of vandalizing out there. Spray painted Pentagrams, DK logos, and biohazzard symbols were our ego signatures.

Imagine our surprise a few months later when the local paper did a seven-part series on Satanism in the area. It was pretty comical. They would find feathers near a campfire and say that was proof positive of live Satanic sacrifices. Part three was an expose' on how the old sewage plant was a hotbed of Satanic activity. The DK logo was seen as the word DIE, and all the other graffitti was code staking out our "church."

With the town in a panic over the Unmentioned One, we decided to play it up. One guy stole a baby Jesus from a Nativity scene (it was near Christmas), and he was going to nail it to a little cross and put it back at Easter (he never did). Our best plan was to make people think there were Satanic butchers in the area. I found a chart showing where all the cuts of beef come from on a cow and a can a spraypaint. So we drove around looking for a herd of cattle to spray this chart on. We found one, but we learned a lot of things that night. One, cows are a lot bigger up close than they are from the road. Two, they are a lot meaner up close than they look from the road. And lastly, three drunk guys cannot sneak up on a herd of cattle through a dry cornfield, especially when one has a can of spraypaint going "clickety clickety clickety."
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 17:00, Reply)