That'll turn him
I was once standing at the bar of a sea themed nightclub somewhere in the East Midlands with my housemate, who we'll call Rob, and both of our girlfriends.

This particular bar had one of those little rails you can stand on when you need scream your order in the ear of the barman to be heard over the delusion of grandeur rantings of luminaries such as Chesney Hawks.

As Rob, who is slim with a mane of brown hair and a small goatee, was leaning over the bar some skinhead bloke came up, spanked him on the arse and shouted in a thick Derbyshire drawl 'my mates have just bet me I won't come and talk to you, do you want a drink?' to which Rob replied without turning 'no'.

The skinhead then said 'oh, are you with him?' referring to me (I did actually have my arm round my girlfriend at the time). Rob then stood back and turned to the skinhead with 'look mate....', his sentence didn't need finishing as the look on the skinheads face realising he had just been chatting up a bloke and the belly laughs from his accomplices said all that was needed.

Halfway to scampered back to his little group of National Front posterboys, the skinhead turned and shouted 'fucking queers!'

Apparently the irony was lost on his mates as they seemed to spend the rest of the evening banging back pints of Stella and devising plans to make up pay for 'queering up' their mate.

In hindsight we were lucky to make it out alive.
(Dr Death is not as funny as when I thought it up, Sun 3 Jun 2007, 16:18, Reply)