Why, Channel 5 of course.
I still recall the days when 5 was the 'brand new' television channel, living off the scraps the main four didn't want. Which, for some reason consisted mainly of documentaries about the nazis, and the cheesey porn, sorry 'erotic thriller', movies that always used to be on. Friday night, 10:55pm. Without fail. I'd sit there, eyes like saucers, one hand on the remote to flick the channel should a parent open the door, the other hand on something else entirely.

Vixen was one of my favourites, I'd see that in the tv guide and sit up eagerly to watch it. Of course with the interent at my disposal I no longer find such films as enjoyable. There will, however, always be a place in my heart for the dodgy sax music and godawful plots of my childhood.

Also, at some vaguely remembered point in my teenage years my dad (responsible parent that he is) bought me a copy of Razzle, which I cherished for months until a random attack of shame made me ask him to dispose of it. I recall the main pages being some lass shaving her ladybits, with the imaginative title "Louise lathers up and cums clean"

Cheers Dad.
(Uncle Comrade, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:37, Reply)

Pron
I rescued a pron magazine from a bonfire.
That I night I enjoyed the charred remains.
A strange smokey smell enamated from the secret hiding place under the floorboards for weeks.



(I was 27)
(plant rolls out of bed like a fat wobbly tub of lard, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:35, Reply)

under a bush
I found the access codes to the ENCOM computer system. But while I was trying to use them to hack into the mainframe the Master Control Program deconstructed me with a laser and re-established me in the world inside the computer.

Long story short, it turned out all right in the end - and that was my first experience with Tron.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:28, Reply)

like most people,
I regularly leave pornographic magazines lying around under bushes.

Once I came back to one of my stashes, to find it was gone! Perhaps a bear ate it, or maybe a raccoon.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:19, Reply)

Girls like porn too.....
Growing up with no brothers and going to an all girls school meant that my exposure to visual porn came fairly late. I read Lady Chatterley’s Lover when I was about 14, started on Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus at around the same age, but pictures….

Of course I saw things like page 3 and the News of the World, but that was it…. until I saw a copy of Playgirl magazine in a newsagents…..

Being of a curious and rather adventurous nature I bought a copy – it had men on the front and promised pictures of naked ones inside….

For a very long time this magazine lived in the bottom of my wardrobe well hidden under a pile of shoes. I used to remove it late at night and spend a considerable amount of time wondering why, oh why publishers had to abide by the Mull of Kintyre test and for those of you who are unaware of what this is…basically an erect member was not allowed to be shown….

So I ended up having to ‘borrow’ magazines from boyfriends and telling them I was only interested in the articles…..Fortunately I was involved for some time with a gay man who was so far back in the closet he had to shake the snow off his shoes….He used to buy gay porn because he said it made him laugh and the articles were better….I liked it for the pictures myself….
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:16, Reply)

My first experience...
...of porn was at the barber's when I was 8 or 9. My Dad would take me there and have his hair cut too. Waiting while he had his turn was made rather more pleasurable by the presence of a huge pile of Playboy and Penthouse mags. I couldn't believe what I was seeing!

I wanted to own one myself so pestered my Dad into getting me a copy of Penthouse. Eventually he gave in to shut me up and bought one, but said he'd need to look through it first to make sure it was suitable for an impressionable pre-teen. Strangely this vetting process lasted many years until I was legally old enough to buy my own stuff. I never did see that magazine.
(eesnahk, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:10, Reply)

Same story as everybody elses
Me and a chum found a rather thick volume ripped in half round the back of our houses. Spiriting away this interesting treasure to my bedroom, we poured over it in mild amazement and confusion for as long as I could risk us getting caught with it. There an then we hatched a plan to "Stash" our prized contraband. Not being junior criminal masterminds we elected to simply bury it, right near where we found it.

I was a tad disappointed with the plupy mass I unearthed several weeks later especially as I didn't see another mag for several years after that.
( Smithlick is often seen at the bottom of threads, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:09, Reply)

The horror...
Back in the mid-80's, I had friend who lived in a huge house down the road...swimming pool, motorised go-kart, wardrobe full of Lacoste, video player. Funnily enough, I used to spend most of my spare time there. One balmy summer's day, rich friend said he had something to show me. We headed up to his parent's bedroom and rummaged about under his Dad's side of the bed. Porn. Shitloads of VHS porn. Plus a few books on freemasonry for good measure...
After a good hour or so of watching German types banging away, we were getting quite bored (it held a strange fascination, certainly, but if I'm honest motorised go-karts were more interesting). Rich friend stuck on one last video...to be confronted by the sight of his French au pair getting it from the hairy arsed barman of the local pub. Rich friend started crying. I left. We never mentioned it again.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:06, Reply)

My first pornographic experience...
occured in the Spinney on the school field. Legend told of a huge collection of porn magazines hidden under a fallen tree trunk.

We set off on our quest and low and behold, there they were as told. An older member of the group would read the stories while we gathered round, very much like Jackanory.

This ended when the location was revealed to an all boys P.E class and the magazines all disappeared. Those were the days...
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 18:00, Reply)

What I want to know is
who the fuck are these people who leave 'girly magazines' (as they were known in my day) in the woods? I grew up in quite a heavily wooded area and WITHOUT FAIL every excursion into any kind of woodland whatsoever resulted in the discovery of some kind of 'art pamphlets' or another. All I could ever imagine was that there was a small army of seedy men in trenchcoats who mooched through the trees with their little torches after dark just to leave these publications for curious teenage boys to discover. Either that or there was a considerable amount of nocturnal wrist activity going on in the twilight hours. This was some 15 years before the advent of the internet of course, so the same perverts are no doubt fwapping away in their bedsits in front of their grubby PCs these days. My brother and I built up quite a prolific collection of stolen woodland spank material over the years - everything from the contemporaries like 'Fiesta', 'Knave' and (my favourite) 'Club', to really questionable 70s stuff with fannies that looked like Afghan coats.
Them were the days...
( BobbyParadise, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:58, Reply)

We used to read the "stories"
on the school field. The resident pr0n king (every school has one) used to bring in low-rent stuff like Men Only for our enjoyment.

And once we found some ripped up under a hedge (oh, the cliche) while walking along the old railway line near Newbury (now covered with A34 bypass). That had a lot of group stuff in it, which is a bit of an eye opener when you're 13.
(rogerzilla, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:56, Reply)

When i was two a man used to put his winkie in me and take pictures.
Then sell the the porn.

I've got no arms, they arrested him for selling fliddy porn.
(waxdart hello., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:54, Reply)

Aged 13
walking down to meet a few mates, porn mag blows across the street..utterly soaking wet with rain (I hope). Me mate kept it for about 6 months hidden under his bed...always looked wetter considering it was kept indoors...
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:51, Reply)

When I was 7, I used to kiss whoever was posing on Page Three of The Sun.
I think I was a disturbed child.
(__, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:49, Reply)

Too terrible for words...
...but I'll try. Not my first exposure, but one of our nations more naive senior citizens.

My grandmother had just seen Dirty Dancing and was raving about it to all her geriatric friends.

Only one sweet old lady bothered to go and rent the video and watch it, and a week later she dutifully reported her thoughts to my Gran.

Gran: "So... what did you think?"
Other Grand: "It was quite ... good. There was... ah.... a lot of... er... nudity"


Turns out Other Gran had rented Dirty Prancing. I hate to think what she thought of my Grandmother until that misunderstanding was cleared up.

And then there's the time that me and my mate got home from a night on the piss to discover his brother asleep on the floor where he had fallen, mid self abuse, while the computer kept playing on a loop the clip that had so aroused, then so bored him, apparently.
(lessmiserable, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:42, Reply)

Getting porn the old fashioned way
I was probably about 9-10 when i first discovered a gold mine of grumble in some waste land round the back of my mate's house. There was loads of different pictures from granny porn to the more acceptable ladies in lingeries showing their muffs. I was quite taken aback by the amount of 'meat' that seemed to be coming out of these mysterious orifices, like badly stuffed kebabs (to quote the Profanisaurus). Still find that sort of thing brilliant. Internet porn and over development has kinda spoiled it now. Kids will never know the delight of handling magazine that have already been 'used'. Ahh memories.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:41, Reply)

Page 3
Like many, Page 3 was the first experience, tame by some standards I know but my Dad used to get The Sun on a Saturday, and it was pot luck whether or not it had breasts in it or not. Looking back I think he was just saving himself from having to explain things to me.

Then came channel 5. Having discovered the late-night softcore nudey films, there was no way I was not going to watch them. I think we all went through that phase. Nowadays, no porn for me, though! :)
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:40, Reply)

Ah the destruction of innocence
I was 14, and we had just got our first PC and internet connection, broadband aswell. Anyway about 4 months into it audiogalaxy went tits up so I got kazaa light. Used it for a while for my music pleasure and also downloading music videos.

The one day it hit my like a lightning bolt, if I can download music videos could I get porn?

I still remember the first one ever. Was called something like "french maid double fuck" and involved this women (looking nothing like a maid I may add) getting fucked by 2 guys in a nice dress and swalloing one load at the end.

Even now I download it the odd time to remind myself of my first porn time...lovely.
(puggs, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:32, Reply)

Aged ten I think
with one of my best friends at the time, James. We had recorded Die Hard on an ancient VCR the night before, and not realised it was on (10 years ago) Channel Five; so it had recorded a film afterwards, I still remember the name, called Kissing A Dream.
( www.imdb.com/title/tt0116784/ )

We watched it, had no idea what it was but it was bloody filthy, and retired giggling to seperate bathrooms, returning several minutes later.

Filth!
( moohalaa, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:32, Reply)

Have you tried one? They're really good..
My first experience was watching some at the age of fourteen with a friend (thank God we were in our baggy jeans phase). We learned about the glory of Bombay rolls and when monday came we told a yr7 lad all about them. Sort of. We sent him to the school cafeteria to get one cos 'they were really tasty'.

Saturday detention for the hound. A telling off and a smothered giggle from the parents
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:30, Reply)

flaps
At the tender age of younger than I can remember, I got my first glimpse of women's rudey bits.

I was in my brothers room, eating his stash of sweets while under his bed, when I decided I needed some reading material to go with the hefty sugar rush I was inducing.

So I started rummaging through my brothers schoolbag and found one of those big ring binders. I think it was for his English class or something.

Anyway, he had deftly taken to it with a scalpel and slipped a bad early eighties (as it was the early eighties) porn pic between the cardboard and the black plastic cover. How did I know it was there? Because he had cut little flaps that you could flip open to look at the good bits. And one for her face, complete with the bouffant blonde fairy floss haircut.

If this wasn't the first exposure, then maybe it was the time I found dad's stash of 70's playboys hidden in with computing magazines (prior to that we had giggled at him when we found underwear catalogues in his desk drawer).

Or when I was a cub scout, dutifully folding newspapers for recycling, when what drops out? Someone's missus had obviously discovered their collection and forced them to part with it. The dilemma here was how to smuggle the piles of magazines out when there were literally dozens of parents and upstanding scout leaders around (seriously! they were!). We didn't manage it. But a few months on it was commented upon how diligently we were looking after the recycling... Free porn, we discovered, is like lightning, never striking in the same place twice, but we did win some kind of award for recycling, sadly, it wasn't porn.

What is scary to admit is that I actually remember getting 'excited' at the memory of looking at pron. Not the best when I now associate it with newspapers, school work and computer magazines... hmmmmmm.
(lessmiserable, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:20, Reply)

The first pr0n mag I ever saw.
The first filth I remember seeing was an A5 landscape magazine with a single photo shoot. I must have about 8 years old.

It started off fairly normal: a woman is shaving her lady garden with a "safety razor" and a load of shaving foam. Rather oddly though, it ends up with her bleeding to death from a large slit in her throat, as well as multiple lacerations around her bits.

Contrary to the typical Daily-Mail-reader view, I'm pretty sure this had absolutely no damaging psychological effect on me at all.
( Jago Laurens, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:15, Reply)

Just confusing...
Aged about 7 or 8, on holiday in France with my parents, a younger female friend and I discovered a gay porn magazine in the woods.

We deliberated for a while and then decided to cut out all the erect cocks with safety scissors.

To this day I have no idea why.
(Minty Hit, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:14, Reply)

Twenty Whore: Events Occur in Squeal Time
Throughout my life, I have seen the odd nudey magazine at a young age, and even oggled the odd Page 3 model whilst going through puberty. But my first experience of actual hardcore porn happened at aged 14.

It was 2002. I had recently become obsessed with a brand new drama called 24. I absolutely loved the tense drama and the whole twists and turns the plot took. I was hooked. I talked about it with my friends, even waited with baited breath for the DVDs.

However..

There was this one time I went to a house party. Typical teenage house party with sex, drugs and loud music. Eventually, I stumbled home and decided I wasn't tired. I decided I'd check out to see what was on the TV. Flipping through the channels, I caught what I thought was a '24' catch-up on BBC2. Xander Berkely (who plays George Mason on the show) was on the couch with some woman, chatting. "Brilliant" I thought, "I'll just watch a load of tense American drama before I go off to bed!".

Xander Berkely carried on chatting to this girl. I started to get uneasy, for I didn't remember this ever happening in the television show that I knew and loved. Suddenly, Xander dived underneath the girls skirt, took off her panties and started giving her a spout of cunnilingus.

What. The. Fucking. Fuck.

Suddenly, my Dad walks in to a scene with me, slack-jawed, watching a hard core porno on Channel 5.

Good old Channel 5. Once I found out they did porn, there was no other channel I loved more.
(__, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:13, Reply)

Amiga pr0n
There was a floppy disk that did the rounds at our school called "Bodacious Bodean's Bordello Beauties #10" - basically it was a porn slideshow for the Amiga 500, and that was my first real taste of pr0n. As I had a working copy of Xdisk, I was also responsible for distributing this material, although with one minor tweak. Through playing around with the file system, I discovered that a couple of the screens were editable in Deluxe Paint III, and one of these was the penultimate screen. It originally said something like "The next pic has not been doctored - we promise!" before showing an image of a woman with two vaginas. As a result of my tinkering, anyone who got a copy from me saw a screen saying "This last photo is actually XXXXX's mom before the operation."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:11, Reply)

"You can't get rid of porn"
A punt into the long grass at the local park whilst playing football led our gang to a hold-all jammed to the gills with scud mags.

Naturally, there was a brief scuffle where the group's Alpha male took command of the jazz, and it soon formed part of an extensive lending library controlled by a system of tokens and extreme violence.

Alas, our downfall came in a classroom fight over the ownership of a certain publication, containing full frontal shots of a girl called Julia - but better known to us as Miss Shagwell, our biology teacher teaching us everything we needed to know about female flanges - which fell into the sweaty hands of the authorities.

The shit hit the fan, the scud was confiscated, and everybody got detentions forever. Luckily, and proving that it is impossible to keep good jazz down, the entire cache was rescued from the skip behind the music block and the endless cycle of self-abuse and adult retribution started all over again.

The full extended mix of this particular tale of woe can be found HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:11, Reply)

A porn related tale....
There was a lad a couple of years older than us who used to go on 'Porn Hunts' when we were bairns. This would involve going into the forest near mine, finding tatty old bits of pornography and wanking over it there and then. Since I was still a fairly prudish seven year old it didn't intrest me one bit but it didn't stop him waving the sticky pages he found in my face an exclaiming "Phwoar! Look at the fanny on that!".

He seemed quite proud of his porn hunts, openly bragging about it to anyone and everyone who would listen, that was until he got caught by the angry, old bloke that lives across the street.

Much shouting and screaming was heard and then from the forest came said neighbour and pervert, the latter with his pants round his ankles and an erection. I think he got a Police caution for that.

I saw him a few months ago and reminded him of it, he nearly burst into tears.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 17:08, Reply)

Was going to post this in the "collections" QOTW
but I think it's equally apt here.

Being two 14-year-old males growing up in a tiny Devon village with zero corner shops from which to buy pron, we had to make do with whatever we could get our hands on.

It all started with the best intentions. When we weren't setting fire to cars or burning down barns, we tried to do our bit for the environment by starting the incredibly gay Village Environment Group. We decided to help out around the village by digging out a pond and collecting people's newspapers for recycling.

One old man in the village used to get the Sun newspaper, and we'd always go straight to page three - which, for the non-Brits amongst you, always features some young lass with her baps out. Me and my friend kept a small box of neatly-folded pages, each showing a beauty in a state of undress. We'd share it, and add to it whenever we collected more newspapers for "recycling" - which eventually degraded to cutting out page three and sticking the rest in the normal bin to go straight to the landfill.

We'd also "entertain" ourselves with the contents of the box - my favourite picture being of a girl I named "Evian" due to her emptying the contents of a bottle of the afforementioned water all over her norks. Why I didn't refer to her by her real name, which was clearly printed on the page, I'll never know.

I always did my utmost to ensure that the box was well hidden in my room, usually under my bed, lest my parents discover it. So, I was slightly shocked after returning from a week away to find my mum had tidied my room. She'd sorted through all my papers and letters (I have no idea how I'd accumulated so many at 14), and put them in nice cardboard boxes, labelled them and put stacked them in my cupboard.

And also, at the top of the cupboard, was the page three box. Trembling slightly at the thought of my mum discovering my stealthy stash of softcore nudity, I picked it up and slowly rotated it to reveal to my horror that mum had neatly inscribed the word "cuttings" on the side of the box. I'm not sure if she was in denial about my coming of age, or just thought I had a strong interest in certain pages of the Sun newspaper.
( krang, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:54, Reply)

germans
i've just been reminded of a strange german magasine leeds uni libry subscribes to, not a first experience of porn, but a first experience of a magasine in which EVERY article and advert had pictures of naked old people

why!!!!!!!!!
(skankgirl, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:53, Reply)

Yes, Jim, that is a ....
About aged 9 my brother and I were playing outside my Grandad's house. Behind his house there was an old factory and my Brother disappeared down the side of the building and didn't return for some time...
Upon my investigation, my 12 year old bro had stumbled upon a diiirrrrttty magazine. The page he had it open on involved a mulleted, moustacio man pointing to a lady's front bottom with teh caption "Yes, Jim, that is a cnut". I left him to it - it was revolting and indeed much too filthy for my fragile little mind.
(NJ, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:53, Reply)