color climax corporation....
need i say more?
(mittymutu, Fri 26 Jan 2007, 0:08, Reply)

Thanks to my older brothers obsession with porn mags...
I had known what a naked lady looked like for a long time. I always thought they looked rather cute sitting there in various positions and sucking their fingers, but I had no idea what sex was.

One day in P7 this guy Richard, for that was his name, brought in a book he had found in the library on the top shelf (the primary school library was in the P4 class), called 'our bodies' or some crap like that.

Anyway inside there was a chapter on 'sex' and it had full on graphic depictions of red hot hardcore sex.....with robots!!!!

"The male robot had a 'Spring' which fits inside the females 'Socket'"

narrated the book, anyway I tooked a semi flop on as the whole sex thing finally slotted into place and realised why those women had their legs spread.

I spent a lot more time encouraging my brother to go out so I could nick his porn mags from then on.
( Bamboo Steamer, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:56, Reply)

Mentally scarring
Once, while partaking of a kickabout with some schoolyard chums of mine, the ball rolled off into a rough patch of grass..

The lad who went after the ball discovered a pornographic magazine. HOWEVER. I was througherly confused, as the ladies had penises..

It was a transexual porn mag. It was especially confusing, as according to the book on sex education my parents had bought me when I was younger (when I asked, "where do babies come from?" my mum said she couldn't lie to me ) women didn't have penises..

Haha. Ah well.
(comrade^, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:47, Reply)

Oh My!
old enough to ride a bike on the road and found some porn mags hidden in a ditch.

had a look, put them back and rode to a mates to tell him.

he wansnt interested so went back, but they were gone by then.

Or maybe it was the bird from 'round the twist' ;)

and then was once in school got given a page of 'porn', some large boobed redhead with the gash in full view. a few days later i wondered why my clothes had been washed but not my trousers.

then checked and folded up pic of redhead was in there....

and realisation, mother had checked pockets and found the picture.

but at least then she knew i wouldnt die of bad aids.....
(HomerJH, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:41, Reply)

the joy of $ex
round at my mate's house one day, I must have been 9/10. matey says, my dad's got a book, "enjoy sex" - we've heard older boys at school talking about the three letter word, so we have a look, turns out it's Dr Alex Comforts classic tome - "The Joy of Sex" all beards, big muffs and all. The illustrations certainly enlightened young LP, and he went home that night a wiser young chap.
Lo and behold a few days later and it turns out that matey's friend's Dad has found that his book has been moved, phone calls to young LP's parents ensue and so Mum and Dad give masterblow "a talk", all about how when a Mummy and Daddy love each other very much etc...
This is all very well until we sit down to watch top of the pops... what's out that week, only Salt N Pepa's "Let's talk about SEX" and Color Me Bad's "I wanna sex you up!".
I wanted the earth to swallow me up that night...
(lpmasterblow, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:28, Reply)

Well...
At a very young age, me and my siblings used to go and get in my parents' bed on a weekday morning. In hindsight it must have really pissed them off, but it always seemed like a good idea at the time.

So I reached down the side of the bed (possibly aged about 9) and found one of my dad's magazines. I pulled it up onto the bed, and saw all the pictures inside, and probably, if memory serves, asked 'Why aren't these people wearing any clothes?'.

I think the experience, the embarassment, my parents' reaction and going to a boy's school later on probably explains the dreadful state of my sex life for the last decade, and that single event probably shaped my whole young adulthood. That and my father's dwarf porn videos, discovered when I was 14.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:13, Reply)

I was around porn from before I can remember.
I had two much older brothers who were frequently charged with the job of watching myself of my other brother of a closer age. Of course, as soon as the parents were gone, they'd put on the pornos and watch intently with a cushion sat in their lap. Myself and my brother didn't really understand the appeal. We did however have plenty of questions. They were rarely answered.

"Why's he weeing on that lady's face?"
"Won't she get sick if she puts that in her mouth?"
"How come that man only gets to put it in her bum when the other one puts it in her fanny?"
"Eurgh! Why's she sucking on it now? Won't it taste like poo?"
"If that lady licks that other lady there won't her breath smell like wee?"
"How come that lady doesn't have hairs inbetween her legs but that other lady does?"
"Doesn't it hurt when his balls slap against her like that?"
"What's that big black thing that lady is putting in her bum? Is that to stop her pooing on that other lady?"

For quite some time I was the biggest porno dealer at school. On my walking route home I passed an engineering company that had a billboard and small electricity transformer hut outside. Every few days I'd climb the back of the billboard and jump onto the top of the transformer hut, and hidden there, between the hut and the billboard, would be a fresh stack of porno mags. Usually 4 or 5, usually foreign and usually extremely explicit. Many would feature real odd shit like horse porn, triple anal, double fisting, etc. etc. The real odd stuff. I'd then take them back to school the next way where horny 11 year olds were prepared to give up 5 quid a throw for a mag. It got even more lucrative when I realised I could sell by the page rather than sell the whole magazine and usually make up to a tenner from each mag.

After a while the mags stopped appearing. I was heartbroken.
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:13, Reply)

Pron Eh?
Was about 9 years old in my class room. My best mate at the time came running in with his hands stuffed up his jumper and over to our desks (I was set next to him y'see).

Anyhoo, he's found some scraps magazine in the school field. Up to that point I'd always believed Babys were made by Mummy and Daddy. Well not here.

There were two blokes and they were in all sorts of strange positions... Up thy shitter, in the mouth hole and everywhere...

Changed my whole life perspective! I'm on the dole now.


I'd usually make a joke about cocks, but instead I'll tell you about a lad in school who once inflated a used condom, thinking it was a discarded balloon. The look on his face when it 'backfired'... classic.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:12, Reply)

Not really porn...
but i was forced to watch dirty dancing when i was 8/9ish
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 23:10, Reply)

Erotica
I was one of those kids who knew about sex and stuff from an early age, thanks partly to older siblings and my friend, who for anonymitys sake will be called Frank. Frank told me all sorts of facts about sex (not to mention lies-I thought up until th age of 10 that once penis was in the minge it was impossible to remove. Babies confused me, surely there was no room for them to come out, with daddy's man meat blocking the way and all)
Anyhoo at breaktime in primary school we were widely discouraged from play fighting, footy or even running really, so we occassionally ended up just making up stories. Frank was great at making up stories, and when our story begins he was part way through an epic about a mouse. (don't laugh, it was the best bit of fiction I've ever encountered.) Now the mouse had just met a lady mouse so nature took its course and something along the lines of "He put his mouse willy in, then out, then in, then out and then he did white wee." happened. And somehow, I got my (probably) first erection. Off my friend.Telling an erotic story. About mice. Explains a lot really.

The shame's setting in now.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 22:54, Reply)

Scraps
Age 11. Found scraps of porn at the remotest end of the playground. Didn't know what to do at first, then decided to tell the lustiest lad I knew - Anthony. He spent the next week at the remotest end of the playground, and I spent the next week chatting up his girl friends.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 22:47, Reply)

It was Dad's . . .
I was about 10, I think, and I truly believed that Dad was the most wonderful thing ever. Until I found these magazines on his bedroom floor. I was so innocent - even after finding them, I just didn't understand why. Did make me feel tingly all over though.
(wonderpoose, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 22:20, Reply)

Video
First magazine I ever saw I think I found in the woods, like so many of the other folk here. Weird.

First video however was a different experience and one which I will never forget. I believe I was 8 (may have been 9). I used to have a friend who's dad was a little odd to say the least. He used to walk around the house naked, encourage everyone to talk about $ex and generally make you feel extremely awkward about just about everything.

One day I am round at said friend's house and he asked me if I wanted to watch some pron. Sure I say. What's the worst that can happen?

The video - I have no idea what it was called, but if anybody out there knows please tell me as I would love to see it again. The story line was of a guy who was f*cking his daughter. Twisted I know. I will never forget the one line when the guy is standing in the shower w*nking and his daughter comes in the room and says:

"Daddy you're the cleanest man I know. But also the dirtiest" and proceeds to start s*cking him off in the shower.

Left quite an impression on an 8 year old boy. I have been addicted to pron ever since.

How can you not make a gag about size, length and girth on this QOTW. It was MASSIVE!
(veniceboy lives in California, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 22:05, Reply)

woods porn
Dunno why, and others have said the same, but when you're a kid you always seem to find porn in the woods, or in some corner of the park..

I never find it now.

I'm an adult, I'm supposed to leave it there. (nod to 'Spaced')

Anyway - me, my mate and my sister, aged maybe about 12, come across some porn scattered around some hidden corner of the woods, and learn all sorts of things.
Anal plugs come with 'T bars' so you don't lose them was an interesting one that's always stayed with me.

What still me makes me laugh is my mate's incredulous ouburst while reading one of the stories:

"Fucking hell, they've got fuckingcats in this one!!!!!!"
(inflateable, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 22:05, Reply)

101 Great cum shots!
What a video, though I spent 5 years thinking I was inadequate volume-wise after seeing Peter North spraying.
(Monkey Festerer, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:55, Reply)

dodgy cable box
11 years old at a mates house. nuff said
(fwack bang on it, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:50, Reply)

A good kickin' for Fat Little Fecker
I was 10 years old and about to bash in the head of the fat little fecker who lived two doors down from us. My dad was in the army at the time, and I decided to borrow his combat boots so I could get a really satisfying MoD boot in. Fit didn't really matter - intimidation was key. "Oooh - he's gone to get his dad's army boots - better run fat little fecker". I left the chubby monkey sweating as I ran into my house: "Don't you frickin' well move - I'm coming right back"

Anyway - while rummaging in dad's cupboard to find his boots - well . . . porn rags were uncovered, and the fight forgotten as I spent the rest of the afternoon scanning nudie bits and scanty undies. . .

. . . I don't know how long fat little fecker and our braying audience waited outside for my return. I picture the sun setting, their long shadows stretching before them as, one by one, they sidled off as their mums called them in to tea.

Moral? Porn = less putting in of the boot. A good thing.
(ring-finger is also a verb, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:45, Reply)

commodore modesty
Me too! First ever glimpse of the hairy love bush.
Much later I got a look at some well dodgy stuff. I used to hang around with John, he lived about three doors down. Having a pool table made spending time at his house a way to stave off the boredom. I had my first drink there, a sip of port while watching the Superman movie. Anyways, while we had the house to ourselves he took the opportunity to show me his dad's stash under the bed. Gotta say it was quite the eye opener. To this day I've neer seen such a many and varied collection. This guy had everything, from rough, Germanic, bearded 70's studs penetrating all the gaping holes of equally hairy women, to men with huuuuge veiny cocks pissing into the open mouths of scared girls. I had quite a heart flutter looking at them I must say, Being 8 years old and utterly innocent I had no idea the things you could do with a penis. Thanks to Monty Python I knew that grown ups got hairy but sex? I've never been the same since. Even now if I see a bearded man with his knob out I feel quite faint. I keep my mouth open though, just in case.
(Suddenly, zebras Safe and sound for eternity, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:36, Reply)

I was 10 years old...
Lay-by in Italy. Magazine found. Woman with horse. Action with horse. Interruption. Postman arrives. Pleasantries exchanged. Action with postman. Horse watches. End.

True story.

(no apologies for length)
( Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:33, Reply)

Hear hear,
"I didn't see porn until quite late in my life
but I didn't miss out - my life was like porn! My mother was a Ukranian heroin addict and rape victim, and my father was a repulsive misogynistic millionaire weasel."

What he said.
(SusK, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:27, Reply)

Completely off topic but...
Another lad I used to hang around with thought women pissed out of their arses until he was 14.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:23, Reply)

I was a weird kid
and so back when we had first gotten teh interweb, I was looking through webpages, and I was litterally typeing www..com for about an hour, just seeing what I could find, so first porn site I ever went to? sex.com at the time I really didn't know what it was, my parents, dispite being doctors, never bothered to give yours truely "the talk", so the internet did. luckily this was before the days of my parents knowing anything about browser history.
( Arsonade is saving up for a new box of hummus, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:06, Reply)

The life of Brian
you know the bit where brian and the lass wake up and his mum confronts him about all the people outside and the woman he just slept with stands up and shouts at her fully in the nip. that's got to be the first time i saw a woman nude.
(commodore modesty, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 21:04, Reply)

First Porn
I would have been about ten at the time (33 years ago!) on one of our traditional summer holidays in Cornwall. I was just old enough to realise it was because it was cheap (staying with my Grandma) and altogether shit.
one afternoon I decided to go for a walk around a local camp site and found a pretty good amusement arcade; I went back home, blagged a handful of change and went back.
No space invaders of course but there was a very good pinball machine on which I spent the best part of three hours. Why? This one was a strip pinball; every time you hit a certain score up would come piccies of ladies steadily undressing. This was 70's soft porn at its best and I was hooked. First stiffie and first time I realised girls were for me.
I'd have been there every day except my dad decided to come after me and see what was keeing me so happy. I was never allowed back... but I have a feeling dad did....
No apologies for length, it was a long time ago and innocence is a marvelous thing.
(DustyD, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 20:37, Reply)

about 8 maybe a little older
me and a friend found a nudie mag under some trees but it was in two halves so i kept the bottom one :D
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 20:35, Reply)

Stalker Boy
decided, on the infamous trip to Austria that as he had the gay this week he was going to buy himself some nice grot to look at. So we go to Salzburg for the day (thanks to his aforementioned Sound of Music obsession), and he spends about 10 euros on a magazine called "ADAM" and proceeds to show me the photos inside all the way home. The most of it was just guys standing around in the nip, and one of them I would swear blind to this day only had one ball (appropriate, considering what country we were in).

My fragile little mind. It's a wonder he didn't give me the gay.

More recently one of my housemates last year was an art student, who came home with endless graphic novels to use for research, and some of them were porn (she had at one time worked in a sex shop, apparently). The one I remember the most clearly was best described as BDSM rape porn, and I'm still wondering how I still manage to be attracted to men after seeing it. I would give the name and say Google it but I'd rather that no one else's fragile little mind was warped the way mine was.

It got thrown under the couch after about a week with a cry of "eeeeeeeeeew!" but the others, including a French one (which my housemates got me to translate for them) about a girl who has sex with her cat, who somehow turns into a man (bet she was sorry she'd had him neutered) and the usual sort of stuff like vampire pron. As well as another one full of pictures of girls in horse tack, including fake hooves...?
( Maladicta, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 20:30, Reply)

Well...
there I was minding my own business when Jonathan King's Rolls Royce pulls up....
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 20:30, Reply)