Back in the day
Apparently, this happened to me as a little kid, but I can't remember how it all went on.

OK, my brother has a death wish against me. My mum says she's quite suprised I survived my childhood after all that my brother did to me. I'll explain in several short stories:

1) When I was still really small: I was in what was referred to in my family as the 'bouncy chair'. This was a fabric chair/rocker thing with a springy base, allowing for general uppity-down movement. The following occured:

MUM: Look after him whilst I go to the kitchen.
BRO: Sure thing.
*BRO bounces me in chair*
*BRO proceeds to save energy by using foot instead of hand to bounce me*
CHAIR: Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing WHEEEEE!
*Baby seen hurtling through air*
*thunk*
BABY: Waaa!

2) When I was still in a pushchair, and on a campsite, my brother's birthday occurred. His main present: a pair of roller skates.

Now, I have no idea what he was thinking of, but he thinks 'now wouldn't it be a great idea to go down this hill wearing my rollerskates and taking the baby with me?' So....

*BRO moving slowly down hill*
*BRO speeding slowly up*
*BRO reaching high speed*
*BRO spots traffic-filled road at bottom of hill*
*BRO realises he's failed to learn how to break*
*BRO performs emergency landing, tilting both himself and pushchair onto ground*
*thunk*
BABY: Waaa!

3) A little older now, say in my 7's-8's. Me and Bro sitting in the front room, bro's leg resting on coffee table.

I sit on Bro's leg.
Bro bounces leg.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
Bro removes leg.
I fall, biting into table.

There's still teethmarks on the corner to this day.

and 4) OK, I was now 12-13ish. I, after picking up a new copy of a game, rush towards the front door.

My bro, sitting in his car parked in front, decides to open the door at the precise moment I was passing.

*crunch* Weeeeee... into the flowerbed. Find that there was ample amounts of blood pouring out of my leg to warrant me a trip to the hospital, where they informed me that they saw no point anaestising me and proceeded to put stitches on the wound whilst I was still fully conscious. THAT almost killed me. :(
( The MooseBlaster, Tue 30 Nov 2004, 3:15, Reply)