Work do type thing
Not so much a nightclub as a bar, but we were having a staff do at some random bar somewhere in central London. The only trouble was, it was a free bar and on such an occasion, I decided that the only sensible thing to do in front of everyone I work with was to drink as much wine as possible.

Luckily, I held it together til we left the venue and actually didn't feel too bad. It only started to catch up with me in a big way on the tube to King's Cross. Events proceeded thusly:

I got off the tube at King's Cross, lose the ability to walk and do a funny sideways run to the platform edge, luckily managing not to fall in front of any oncoming train.

I get to the main concourse and start to feel very odd. It's 30p to use the toilets though so my boyfriend has to get change from the nice man at the baguette place.

With levels of concentration not displayed outside of the Krypton Factor, I manage to get downstairs, through the turnstiles and into a cubicle.

I want to be sicky. However, on the long journey down to the toilet bowl, I manage to lose my balance and twat my head on the toilet door. I am now seeing quadruple.

I make it back onto the concourse, sit down and promptly projectile vomit all over the floor.

My boyfriend fetches a bin bag and a bottle of water. I drink the water and throw up down the outside of the bin bag.

My boyfriend somehow manages to get me on the last train home. A man is playing awful tinny music. I bang my head repeatedly on the table, moaning at my boyfriend to make the man turn the music off. Apparently I thought the music was making me sick.

The man promptly gets off at the next stop. I am that drunk and mentally unhinged, I have scared a pikey off a train at 1am.

I throw up on the train.

We manage to get off at the right stop and make it home. My boyfriend is carrying my handbag. I have sick down the back of my coat.

I spend the next two days hungover and pretty much wreck our week off.

I did return the favour a month later when my bf got pissed on Unicum at his work Christmas do and I ended up wiping liquid shit off his leg at 2am.

And that is why you should just say no to free booze at a work do.
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 1:40, 2 replies)

At least you got home
After an open bar Christmas do a couple of years ago I managed to get on the wrong train, fell asleep, and woke up in Oxford at 3am.

I live in Finsbury Park.

Still made it in for 9:30 the next day like the little trooper I am.
(Milo Minderbinder, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 10:05, closed)

What a trooper!
I am more than slightly impressed. You did well to end up in Oxford, I didn't even know you could get a train there from Finsbury Park!
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 20:23, closed)