My chance to lose my virginity -- lost.
I was working on a play in California (I was the sound designer and technician) called The Boy Friend. I was in my late 20s and still a virgin. One night, after performance, we all went to a bar and hoisted a few. One of the ladies informed me that she needed a ride home, as she'd left her keys in the car of her boyfriend with whom she'd broken up that evening, and who had given her a lift to the theater.
I drove her home (she lived quite close to where I did) and, facing her locked apartment door, I manfully lifted her sliding glass door off its tracks, and we gained entry to her tiny apartment. I asked if I could use her bathroom, and she pointed to the only other door in the place. I allowed some of the beers to begin their return journey to the sea, opened the door, and her couch had transformed into a bed, and she was lounging upon said bed with somewhat less clothes than she'd been using when I entered the bathroom.
"I think it's time for bed," she said, looking at me a bit dreamily.
I looked at my watch, saw that it was after 1 AM, and, knowing we had a matinee in the morning said something along the lines of, "Oh, my! You're quite right."
About 20 minutes later, I realized the enormity of my error.
She didn't speak to me for the rest of the run of the play.
I felt a right idiot.

(This is my first post, please be gentle.)
(MaxEdison, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:30, 16 replies)

Commiserations dude.
I've done similar. It's a surprisingly common error, and when you realise what you've done there is simply no way to explain it to yourself, other than perhaps temporary mental illness.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:42, closed)

I haven't.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:43, closed)

Jesus.
You make me look like Errol Flynn.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:45, closed)

are you still a virgin now?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:54, closed)

He's even more of a virgin now, I think that counts as -1

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 May 2014, 17:12, closed)

Matinee in the morning ?
( bane, Thu 22 May 2014, 17:16, closed)

the theatre darling - anything after 12 is morning

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:42, closed)

Beers and driving? Tut tut

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:27, closed)

Bah....
At the time I weighed some 240 lbs, and had had about 2 pints of beer. My BAC was probably less than .02
(MaxEdison, Fri 23 May 2014, 5:01, closed)

Sounds like you were quite a catch

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 May 2014, 17:12, closed)

Presuming they overcame the logistical challenges.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 25 May 2014, 23:51, closed)

As if there's any alcohol in American beer.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:25, closed)

Must be some sort of Derp Guy Syndrome
Brand new to Seattle. Living in a bit seedier area. Getting ready to cross the street. Not sure of the jaywalking laws I ask a young woman if the local constabulary were eager enforcers of that law. She appraised me cooly and stated in a slow drawl "You? No, they'd only hassle you if you look like a troublemaker or are trolling for women. By the way, do you have the time?"

"Oh... Okay. 9:30. Thanks" says I, receiving a wan smile, as I look both ways and cross over. And about a hundred yards down the strand, the light turned on.
(shamblinthru Grasshopper! Next time use the potholders!, Thu 22 May 2014, 19:05, closed)

I don't get it

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 May 2014, 17:14, closed)

Hooker?

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 28 May 2014, 10:53, closed)

You should play it off as you being chivalrous and respectful, I mean, you'd have been complicit in making her seem a bit of a slag for getting off with you the same day as she split from her ex.

As you were a virgin, this may have seemed logical.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Fri 23 May 2014, 11:11, closed)