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This is a question Oblique Strategies for Work

We want you to share solutions that solved work problems - but don't explain the problem it solved.

The idea is that someone else, when they have a problem can read this and see if your solution jolts them out of their problem.

(This is obviously a tribute to Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies cards which were filled with stuff like "add backing vocals")

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 15 May 2018, 10:45)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

Unless it's someone with a French accent, I'm 'not in'.

(Tugnut I got them all..., Sun 21 Oct 2018, 16:21, Reply)
Walk, don't run. A running man will always be noticed.

(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 16 Oct 2018, 20:40, Reply)
Admit nothing, trust no-one, deny everything, suspect everyone.

(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 10 Sep 2018, 21:48, Reply)
Never do anything until it is past due
Most requests will become redundant and those that remain will have less need for revision.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 30 Aug 2018, 20:59, Reply)
Apply vaseline to the hole first, then use lube on the shaft.
You'll have all your guttering downpipes fitted to the drains in no time.
(I helped save b3ta! brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Sat 28 Jul 2018, 17:17, Reply)
If you're making sauce, outsource the source code that sorts the sort of sauces sought by saucy sorts

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 20 Jul 2018, 1:54, 3 replies)
If you've got a problem
stick a worm in it.
(I helped save b3ta! jagwap, Tue 10 Jul 2018, 6:33, 1 reply)
Which sugar have they used?
It won't work with sucrose unless you lyse it with an acid beforehand. Just get the glucose instead.
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Mon 18 Jun 2018, 16:06, Reply)
Change the mixture slightly
and see if it ignites. White sparks should come out of the top if it works.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Mon 18 Jun 2018, 14:06, 1 reply)
Make this one the same size as that one
So if any of those ones qualify to go in this one, they'll fit. The real question is why was it ever smaller?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 10 Jun 2018, 17:57, Reply)
try doing everything in reverse during your workday
including shitting
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 6 Jun 2018, 7:38, Reply)
Tiger Spray Strategy
Applying a solution to a problem that does not exist, and claiming 100% success.

e.g. Spraying Sydney airport with anti-feral tiger spray and reporting no feral tigers found for the next 12 months.

n.b. When applied well comes with pay rises and promotion. See HR and QA/ISO for more information.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Tue 5 Jun 2018, 0:21, Reply)
Creating is harder than fixing
So stop complaining and get on with it!
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Tue 5 Jun 2018, 0:11, Reply)
Define your fundamental idea and remove everything that distracts from it.
I was just looking at how many old games I messed up with long, whimsical rambling bollocks for instructions.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 4 Jun 2018, 20:57, Reply)
Take 2 of these three times a day and I'll see you in 2 weeks. Repeat until cured or dead.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 1 Jun 2018, 21:02, 2 replies)
I tend to do a lot of redo work.
Sometimes the original problem is someone who has done a reasonable job, but hey, shit happens. All too often though someone has employed a 'FIT-D' protocol*

Always resect more bone is my go-to policy.






*"Fuck it, that'll do"
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Mon 28 May 2018, 20:38, 1 reply)
my strategy is not to work
I am a highly trained professional in this field and my method is a guaranteed success.

you are free to apply my solution to your own grievances.
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:50, Reply)
keep on good terms with the sysadmin

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 24 May 2018, 2:08, Reply)
Find the weakest team member and befriend them
You become a great team player to your colleagues and indispensible to management. If you choose well, there might even be a shag in it
(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 22 May 2018, 23:08, Reply)
Appear helpful by always saying yes when asked to do more work
Then follow it up by asking which higher priority item in your full schedule they don't want you to do. A few iterations of that and they stop asking.
(TitanLX, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:03, Reply)
Book 'confidential' meetings at 4pm every day so no one can add you to their meeting
and thereby prevent you from going home when you want to.
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 22 May 2018, 20:38, 2 replies)
Let salespeople only give presentations to junior staff with no purchasing authority

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 May 2018, 0:32, Reply)
Talk to your dog/cat/rubber duck.
They'll help you figure it out.
(I helped save b3ta! JimmerUK Everyone's Favourite Jim, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:14, Reply)
Flip it, stick it on a wall.
If it still works, it works.
(I helped save b3ta! JimmerUK Everyone's Favourite Jim, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:10, Reply)
Chuck it in the sea

(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 21 May 2018, 20:16, Reply)
Copy in one more person each time the tedious email on the dull issue reappears.

(I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Mon 21 May 2018, 20:06, Reply)
Go for a cup of tea
then check if it's still borked when you get back.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 21 May 2018, 19:00, Reply)
Apply limes

(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:46, Reply)
Disengage entirely

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:30, Reply)
I can solve two problems in one go,
by simply ordering 24 x 6mm Nylon sheave, stainless pulleys and a pile of traffic cones.
(I helped save b3ta! The Togaboy The world will end on, Mon 21 May 2018, 6:05, Reply)

This question is now closed.

Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1