I've had some chicken.
What have you had and what are you doing this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:42, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Going to bed really, REALLY fucking early. I'm knackered.
And watching Jersey Shore. That too.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)

How early is
really, REALLY fucking early?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:45, Reply)

9?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:53, Reply)

That is quite early.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)

Maybe not.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:12, Reply)

Are you staying up late now?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Probably only til about 2330 ish.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:21, Reply)

That is quite a jump.
What has changed?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:25, Reply)

I can't be arsed to go to bed yet.
Jersey Shore is too enthralling.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

I've never seen/heard of Jersey Shore.
But the same sounds fucking bent.

Is it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:28, Reply)

It's awful.
This is one of the main characters.

It's real life, btw.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

I'm pleased I've not seen it, and I see no reason to change this view.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:31, Reply)

this won't change your mind, then?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:33, Reply)

No.
He looks like a grade A bender, with added Winton points.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Winston?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:36, Reply)

Dale Winton I'd assume

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:39, Reply)

Dale Winton.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:39, Reply)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Jersey Shore is fantastic and I love it.
I didn't know it was physically possible to be that orange.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

I've never seen it before.
What's it about?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:17, Reply)

The worst people in the world.
A load of Italian Americans who are orange, and fuck anything that moves and have slap fights. It's hilarious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:21, Reply)

only Snooki spray tans though I think.
Vinny is the secks.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:09, Reply)

I haven't had my dinner yet
I got in about 45 minutes ago and the cycle home was exactly as bad as I predicted: I got absolutely soaked and what's more, some cunt in a van nudged me in to a pothole and the resulting jolt made me whack my undercarriage on the seat rather painfully, so that when I got in I dragged my damp carcass and aching fannybone straight in to bed and haven't bothered to get out again to find food.
I'm going out to play tennis in a bit. TENNIS. Look at me getting out of the house and stuff!
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:48, Reply)

This shouldn't make me laugh, but...
*sniggers*

Berk stood on one side of the tennis court,
The sky was blue above.
Hot-bloke The Tennis Coach stood on the other side,
And of course, the score was Love.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:52, Reply)

Hot bloke?
pfft. Old news - I deleted the silly fuckers number. The tennis coach is pretty cute though...
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Better?
I know Hot-Bloke is old news, but I have no idea if you've moved on to a new 'target'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Contrary to however I may come across online
I am not actually some cock hungry jezebel looking for the next 'target'. I enjoy a good harmless flirt as much if not more than the next person, but that's about it.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Reads...
I enjoy a good harmless flirt as much if not more than the next person, but that is no substitute for cock. Cock that I'm dead hungry for. Cock that I'm dead hungry for, because I'm a jezebel.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Oh shut it, you
I'm far too shy to be a slag. I'll flirt with anyone if they stay still long enough, and if they're cute I might actually mean some of the things I'm saying with a cheeky glint in my eye, but the last time I actually asked anyone out was high school. And even then, I got knocked back rather horribly.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Sorry berk.
I'm being mean.

Are you having a tennis lesson, or playing a match?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Coaching
there's about 10 of us I think.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Have you played for a while?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:17, Reply)

Not really
I loved it at school but I was a fat kid so never really got shown how to play properly or any support, and when I first moved to Brum I started this coaching course as something to do, but I haven't played since this time last year, partially due to money but also because my shoulder was giving me trouble (at least, this is what I'm blaming my spacker-like serve on)
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:23, Reply)

What is your best stroke?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:26, Reply)

Don't know
I am assuming I can still play to a decent-ish standard after a whole year off, and this may not be the case at all...
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:29, Reply)

What time are you going Martina?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

I'm just getting changed now
so fairly soon.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:32, Reply)

You should change your sig to "not actually some cock hungry jezebel"
Or Jeff should.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:50, Reply)

No can do Lighty.
I haven't got berks password! :)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Don't tell BGB, she longs to go to bed with an aching fannybone.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:03, Reply)

Am at my second home tonight
so my chef is preparing barbecue ribs, with some kind of soup to start

at the moment I am working on my engineering chartership stuff.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Not going for a swim?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 19:57, Reply)

did that straight after I got in

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

I like the idea of being able to go for a swim when the mood takes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

it is pretty awesome I have to say
having the pool to yourself is pretty special as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

How big is it?
(the pool)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:09, Reply)

I don't know precisely
but I think it is a little over half the size of a normal leisure centre type pool, so probably about 14 metres

I think
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Hey vippers
A church for you:


( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:58, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I'm nursing my tender bones
and telling myself that I deserve some bad food tonight
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Have some bad food.
What is wrong with your bones? And how are the blisters?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Aching after journey
The blister went down and is now flat and horrible and red
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:11, Reply)

What food are you considering?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:13, Reply)

no idea
having totted up my energy drinks and stuff, I'm at about 1500 calories today, so I shouldn't have anything more. But chicken calls me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Chicken isn't bad food.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:23, Reply)

it is depending on what sort!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:26, Reply)

Have some turkey instead.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

I had a prawn and chorizo linguine
and I'll probably spend the evening channel hopping whilst scratching myself.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

I'm not sure if I can be bothered eating tonight.
I'm going to watch a film, but I've not decided which yet.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

i have had some cream puffs and about a 3 minute nap
tonight I shall wash clothes and cook steak and read some Mary-Janice Davidson
right now I'm reading about the Oracles on wiki wiki uhh
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:18, Reply)

What will you have with you steak?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:29, Reply)

I'm not sure!
There's lots of instant stuff, and not much fresh stuff.
Theres some relatively fresh potato soup from last night.
Maybe that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:53, Reply)

The last of the beef in beer
a couple of people at work were appalled that I was going to eat something I made on Thursday. They were all, "Why didn't you freeze it? I'd never eat anything more than a day old!"

For heaven's sake, it's been in the fridge! In a sealed container! (except when I opened it to serve myself some)

It was absolutely fine. Now I intend to finish my "glass of wine with dinner" and watch some crass American television.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Episode of Mad Men then heading into town.
I am going to meet my old housemates and then we are going to take horse tranquillizer until our eyes explode.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:59, Reply)

make sure everyone has taken their contact-lenses out first.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I'm in bed already because I'm knackered
Sleep patterns have been knocked into a cocked hat, and I'm feeling so damn tired all the time. Will be getting back into cycling to and from work as of tomorrow, both in order to get fitter and also to save on petrol. To this end I've just downloaded Runkeeper Pro for my phone, so I can track my cycle jaunts.

Unlike berk, I shall try not to smack my fanny on the frame.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

I am watching Mars Attacks
And wondering if I really do I sound like Dominic West like I was told at the weekend
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:11, Reply)

True or not,
you can I hope take some consolation from the fact that you most certainly look like an elongated Fred West.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Was Fred the best of all the UK serial killers?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I look nothing like fred west O_O

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:24, Reply)

thats what fred west
Thought as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:49, Reply)

You look like my balls
Confused and ashamed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:20, Reply)

I've missed the first ten minutes of Silent Witness
anyone know what's going on?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:18, Reply)

The butler did it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:19, Reply)

There isn't a butler in this one, that I know of?
On a positive note my dinner this evening is Dairylea Dunkers and a can of Pepsi Max. Bon appetit!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

There was a butler in it for the first ten minutes.
He is hiding now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

ah classic! I feel like I have the inside scoop now.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:26, Reply)

You may, or may not, have guessed that I'm not watching it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:27, Reply)

you may, or may not, have guessed that I'm not as dumb as I make out
it's close mind.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Did you enjoy your Dairylea?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Yeah it was alright and only 120 calories
Bringing my daily total to approx 1750 so it's a good day.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Are you on a diet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Yeah and training hard too.
Still have about 6 stone to shift I reckon. Lost 4 so far in the past 7 months. If I'm going to be a good teacher I need to be fit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:44, Reply)

You're looking to shift a total of 10 stone?
How much did you weigh?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:58, Reply)

At my heaviest 23 Stone. I was a huge fatty boom batty
Gym, boxing and a nutritionist where the way forward. Plus hypnotherapy has been amazing. Will get excited when I finish.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Fuck me. No wonder you want to lose weight before you start teaching.
Kids can be so cruel.

What is the hypnotherapy for?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Not worried about that
I just want to be able to enjoy it and not squash any!

Breaking templates. It's hard to describe but it makes you question those stupid decisions you have trained your brain to make you feel better.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Okay, doesn't sound that strange.
So are you using this treament to look at all aspects of your intake, rather than just crap food and fizzy drinks?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Well I don't drink an awful lot anymore
It's the weed. Which I know I have to kick but is proving the hardest.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:12, Reply)

How much weed do you smoke usually?
And is it less than it was?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Used to be about half an ounce a week
including weekends. Now a half will last me a week and a half maybe two. Not good enough really. Hve cut out the breakfast spliff which is a result.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:16, Reply)

It's a start mate.
And there is surely no problem is taking small steps to a solution, as long as you're moving in the right direction.

That is a lot of weed to be getting through though. I'm assuming it isn't some mild blend of weed, rather some nutty skunk?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Like alcohol my behemoth stature seems to make me have an extremely high tolerance
for most things. I will quit though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Nothing wrong with the occasional smoke.
Or do you think it's gone too far for that, and it is a case of 'all or nothing' now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:22, Reply)

If I don't break this template
It will be a failure and I need to know that I can do it really.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Fucking hell
and you want to be in charge of small children?
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Evening Cliff.
How was the tennis?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Good!
I hadn't realised how much I missed it. Bloody sore now, mind.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I know!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:20, Reply)

christ
these days an eighth will last me almost a couple of weeks. Naturally it gets shared around and likewise I get to indulge in other people's stuff as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:21, Reply)

We all skin up our own and never pass unless there is a guest who will always get treated.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:22, Reply)

that's just weird

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:22, Reply)

It is a little bit isn;t it.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:24, Reply)

not experienced it myself
I'd be a bit puzzled if I came into that environment, but if it works for you guys then why not!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Do you smoke more or less than your mates?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:23, Reply)

More than most less than some. One girl I sell too buys an ounce and half every week without fail
and claims to not sell any. There is no way she smokes that much but she def smokes more than me. She is a tiny little thing.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:25, Reply)

You do realise that if you get caught
you will never ever be able to teach, right?
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:26, Reply)

yeah that's another reason I'm stopping.
I have a friend who want's to meet my guy anyway so I will let him deal with it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:29, Reply)

DEALER
You're a common drug dealer.

You DISGUST me!

Not really, but maybe these shock tactics will shame you into doing something about your intake
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:27, Reply)

I think it's time to stop, regardless that my tin is full.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:30, Reply)

maybe she doesn't inhale properly?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:27, Reply)

I'm in a Folkestone hotel room with a fellow b3tan
ooer
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Chompy soliciting again?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Well, I'm back
although I had to push my car the last 10 feet because it's broken again.
/sigh
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:19, Reply)

What is wrong with the car?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Accelerator appears to be fucked
it was doing the same thing after Christmas, I took it to a garage who said they couldn't find anything wrong and charged me £30 for the privelege, drove it back to Birmingham when it was fine until tonight, when it's just done exactly the same thing.
The accelerator pedal suddenly goes limp and the revs shoot up to 5/6000, which is rather unnerving, especially if you're in gear at the time. I've generally been able to get it to pop back up by one method or another but couldn't just now and I'm not faffing about under the bonnet when it's cold and dark.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:24, Reply)

What sort of car have you got?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:25, Reply)

2000/W reg ford fiesta
my stepbrother managed to fix it before by bashing it with a screwdriver. I'll bash it myself in the morning, and if I bash the wrong bit well hey, it's already broken and it'll make me feel better.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Does it sound like this?
www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?t=73712
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Hrrrmmm a bit
it doesn't always come back down again though, and the accelerator pedal just goes completely limp and flat to the floor. There's a spring on the accelerator cable just as it goes in to the engine, and when it suddenly revs up and won't come down again, that spring is all compacted. I *should* be able to wedge it back out again, or at least make it driveable enough to get in to the garage tomorrow.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:36, Reply)

Well just be mindful that you might have to put the car in neutral if it happens
Which if it over-revs massively, won't do the engine any favours for a prolonged period of time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Yeah, I know
Each time it's done it before I've knocked it out of gear and then turned it off if I couldn't pop the pedal back up straight away.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Joining Bob's new thread?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:41, Reply)

Aye go on.

(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:41, Reply)

new thread for some variety

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 22:32, Reply)