Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Dear Darth,I would like to take a moment and apologise for causing offence by insulting you and your girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better my electric toothbrush just sprayed toothpaste up my nose.
Sincerely,
Kristine
XoxO *hugglywugglys*
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 3:08,
103 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:26,
Reply)
There's always one or two trouble makers BGBDarth should stop being so horrible to his fellow forum users, so much so that they have to apologise for posting at all. If his partner isn't very attractive that's his own problem, he should stop posting pictures of her on the internet.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:26,
Reply)
The only thing he should stop doing is taking the internet seriously.(
girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:28,
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FUCKING HELL, LOOK!!! IT'S MIGHTERS - MIGHTERS, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:36,
Reply)
hello sir.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:45,
Reply)
Kristine did nothing whatsoever to merit criticism of any kind.Even if she had said she thinks Mrs Cocksnot has a face like a bucket of broken twats she is entirely within her rights to express that opinion without apology. That fact that she merely made a completely inoccuous remark about how this woman looks young in her considered opinion makes this whole thing even more bizarre. There are indeed apologies due here and they should be directed toward American Internet Genius K-Krizzle-krizlington III.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:34,
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I don't need to - I've already got a 'long'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:37,
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Can I just bring up the time Bert said I had Martin Scorsese hands?(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:38,
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WELL I HOPE YOU DEMANDED AN APOLOGY.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:39,
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I let it go, Mont.I've let a couple of things go, to be honest with you.
I don't forget though.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:41,
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I know you have - what with you and Lampers guffing away like navvies it fucking REEKS in here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:44,
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What would make me better is if someone could make me feel less old and wrinkly.Maybe by suggesting I look 21 years younger than I am.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:42,
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But wouldn't that make djtp a paedo?/panders
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:12,
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The rest of that Kim Carnes album was pretty shit too(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:04,
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I still love you, Kristine <3(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:39,
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That stinks - open a fucking window.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:40,
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-ladylike parps-(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
I think we're all forgetting, FairSomething has 100 friends, that's One Hundred. Over that figure, maybe even 125 or 130.You can not imagine how popular that makes him, he has so many friends that every few days he can use one of his other friends. Personally, I have about 10. Imagine that, he has 10 times as many friends as I do. Do you have as many friends as FairSomething ? I. Dont. THINK. Sooo. That is because he is very much more popular than you or I. I reckon Monty has about 20, but even that doesn't seem close to Over One Hundred.
You do not win more friends to add to the count by pointing out that Darth's Girlfriend has a bigger adam's apple than her tits, and that the best thing about fucking her is that you can turn her over on her front and it'll still be like fucking a 16 year old boy.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:41,
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Nope.My track record is abysmal at this game but I’m certain. He was even on here chatting with Chompy about how he was thinking of creating a new character on Mumsnet or something. It ain’t Swipe – that I can guarantee.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:45,
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Well either way it's not a sixteeen year old kid so I feel vindicated AND VALIDATED
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:50,
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There's no way it's swipe.Totally not her style.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:52,
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Monty, my right testicle hurts, it's like someone has jabbed a fountain pen in it.It comes in waves, been getting it for a few days now, do you think it's my loins aching ?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:53,
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Grammsie has been jabbing you in the right nut with a fountain pen while you sleep.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:55,
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Oh my, I sure do hope it isn't that, AIDs seems like a horrible thing to have.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:04,
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If it is Wormulus, you'd think he'd have better things to do.(
girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:46,
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Like going on Mumsnet and pretending to be someone on there?Or creating numerous B3ta profiles like Internet Lawyerman?
That sort of thing?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:47,
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Precisely!Obviously stuck in his bedroom more often than he likes to let on.
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girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:49,
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Internet Lawyerman was fucking funny at the time.If this is him, I'm going to be massively disappointed. He's always walked a very fine tightrope between entertaining and just plain sad but this one is right off the rope and into the safety net marked "self-delusionally pathetic"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:51,
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Well it's clearly not a real child, so unless it's some unknown mental case it's a b3tan.In which case who else is it likely to be?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:52,
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Oh, I'm not saying you're wrong, chapjust saying I thought even he was a little better than this. Shame.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:55,
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He plays WoW. He's not even better than Fred West.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:57,
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say what you like about himthat man could lay a decent patio.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:59,
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STRIKETHROUGH patio END STRIKETHROUGH student lodger(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:04,
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Is this a serious question about edinburghor some terrifying euphamism I'm not aware of yet?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:53,
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Well when I come to stay, until I get on my feet and find a permanent place,I thought I'd make you some nice curtains to say thanks.
Something tasteful and authentic. Tartan?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:56,
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A nice buckfast and haggis tartan works a treat.about 3m, give or take.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:57,
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so, ive been up since three this morningAs mrs ape has gone into labour three weeks early...just waiting for the contractions to be strong enough and we're off to hospital.
Wish us luck and bring me coffee!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:56,
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The pub doesn't open for another couple of hours(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:57,
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Good luck.You'll need more than coffee.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:58,
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God speed you! Black otterer.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:02,
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Please take photos of the vending machine in the hospital and make note of it's prices and stock levels.I bet you the ratio of Kitkat Chunkies to Sales aren't as good as the ratio of Mars Bars to Sales.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:01,
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Emerson Stranglewank.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:07,
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Stop at an offie and get a bottle of cognac.I fucking wished I'd had one when mine was born.
Good luck, you awful cunt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:06,
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Ohh, yeah', and a can of 'V' energy drink and a packet of those fizzy refreshers too.God, I fucking love V energy drink and fizzy refreshers.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:10,
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Red Bull goes very well with vodkaAlthough chocolate coated coffee beans are far classier.
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It's foul.If you need energy, have a fucking line for Christ's sake.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:15,
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My nose is exit onlySave for the occasional probing finger of boredom.
(, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Apart from when I was blind drunk, and was convinced to snort vodka. Which hurt, a lot.And mephedrone, which frankly was shit.
(, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:21, Reply)
you fucking classless heathen.Gentlemen snort port.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:28,
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You, Barry, are entirely correct.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:14,
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It's why I can't drink Jaegerbombs. Not that I'm missing out on anything. I also can't drink out of a cup that has had Red Bull in it previously without it being washed about five times. Even the smell makes me gag.
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jaffabombs are preferable, if one must bomb.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:31,
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I swear, sometimes with all the shit you come up with, that you're smoking a crack pipe on a regular basis.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:18,
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They're very scared of newbies.For a while, people here will accuse you of being someone called Bert, occasionally someone called Piston, or a variety of others who have left in less than stellar circumstances.
(, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Or Bou, if we're going old school.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:20,
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Bou is/was a legendary South African mentalist on /talkshe was proper batshit and went through so many accounts that, for a while at least, cr3 just banned SA IP addresses from signing up.
ah, those were the days.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:27,
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(s)he'd say that even if (s)he was, though.BE VIGILANT.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:27,
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Hello SoulBowl, I don't know anything about you, but I would like to get to know more.Tell me, if it's not to personal, what's your favorite thing about a hospital vending machine?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:19,
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Fair enough, I guess the only other question is what kind of cerial do you like.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:24,
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Not fond of milk so avoid cereal. Any more strange questions for me?what toothpaste do you prefer?
(, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Say no more, that's all I need to know, I know _exactly_ what you mean.I like that colgate one that talks about emanial. When I was a kid you could get strawberry toothpaste, I think I would like to try that one again.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:33,
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I read that as "contractors"and thought, blimey, how much does she weigh?
Congrats though, best of luck and all that.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:17,
Reply)
Good luck!I agree with the Cognac I drank a bottle of Remy when my first was born but was too broke to get one when my second came along. Remy and cigars oh yes!
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Peej, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:28,
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You are a man of style and taste and should be congratulated**although I favour the XO Hennessy in an ideal world. Which is why I am bankrupt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:29,
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I can't imagine being able to spend more than £100 on a bottle in the near future.Not until the kids are at least 50
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Peej, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:44,
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