Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Something else?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:08,
Reply)
Oh how very drole, I bet you're quite the hit at dinner parties.Pip-pip.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:09, Reply)
My guest speaking turns are legendary.By guest speaking I do, of course, mean shouting at waiters for getting my order wrong. By waiters, I mean Burger King Staff. And by Burger king, I mean McDonalds. Obviously.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:12,
Reply)
This is true. I'm a fucking hideous mess of a man.In other news, yet another job opportunity has come up, this time as an employment adviser for Igneus, who have the contract for delivering the government's latest 'do this or we'll stop your fucking dole' initiative. In a strange quirk of coincidence, should I be successful I will be based in the same building that I started out my career in over 20 years ago.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:19,
Reply)
googles igneuscontact us page
send email telling them not hire you
masterbates
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Getting bummed on /talk?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:25,
Reply)
Terrible lies!There is no bullying on /talk.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
just LOVEalso, i posted a love hert in that last message but it didn't come out :((
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:32, Reply)
you'd care if i died? oh sweeeeeet!guess tho, you'll never guess oh man it was SO COOL
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:31, Reply)
favours for sailors in a dockside alley?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:34,
Reply)
Dunno what you're apologising to me forit's those sailors who you've let down.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:37,
Reply)
but i blew on their valves all day, they said they was inflatabel but they musta gone down when i left!doh
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Aw. Do you need a new chopper?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:53,
Reply)
never had one before but i was looking at them today and i'm torn between two(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:01, Reply)
really, which ones?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:07,
Reply)
the one that takes AA batteriesand the one that you have to wind up yourself. why would you encourage him, why, why, why?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:09,
Reply)
shhhh.be verrrwwy quiet. I'm hunting wretards.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:10,
Reply)
well can you hurry up?this utter waste of skin is still here...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:12,
Reply)
robinson r22 and r44i got flying lessons for my 40th and fell in love reallyl, wany my own one now
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Really? they aren't really comparable.Closest to an R22 is a Schweizer 300CBI. Plus, you need extra instruction to fly a Robinson on a standard Heli licence. Course, as you aren't entirely making this shit up, you knew that already, right?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:18,
Reply)
i think i actually am in love with you nowi was only pretending before
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
*rubs thighs*I love it when you get all technical
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
I met him around two and a half years ago....We had drinks and talked about engines
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:24,
Reply)
that we did.that we did.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:26,
Reply)
technically, she has actually seen me. You've yet to have that dubious pleasure..(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:25,
Reply)
Steady on there petal.I bought you some cider last time. 2 and a half years between dates and you want dinner this time? Are you sure we're not rushing this a little?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:30,
Reply)
Buy me dessert as welland I may let you hold my hand
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:31,
Reply)
Oh, you hussy
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:33,
Reply)
it's a slippery slope, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:44,
Reply)
I seem to recall you liked that(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:45,
Reply)
right, so next time i see herwe are totally going to talk about you. ha!
oh fuck am replying to wrong post. oh well.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:30,
Reply)
ooooooh where to start, where to start....(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:32,
Reply)
I don't think I should discuss that in front of himHe may get
a) Incredibly smug
b) Incrediby sad
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:36,
Reply)
oh cool, never heard of the schweizer, the salesman todahy was giving me a load of patter and only showed me a bunch of robisnons(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)
That was probably the lemon barley water. It's easy to confuse them.If it comes in a bottle it's probably not a helicopter though
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:32,
Reply)
this one probably still drinks his mother's titmilk(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:35,
Reply)
if you were torn between two savage rabid wolvesin a freak zoo escapee incident, i would be interested.
otherwise please keep your toyshopping exploits for mumsnet.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:07,
Reply)
rachelswipe, rachelswipe, our sexual chemistry is legendarybut our children would be obese
because yo are genetically flawed
*to the tune of spiderman
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:11, Reply)
because you're over 40 and your grey old spermcan barely crawl out of the end of your sloppy japs eye, more like.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:13,
Reply)
robinson r22 and r44
i got flying lessons for my 40th and fell in love reallyl, wany my own one now
(Quentin Oftiweak I LOVE YOU CHARLOTTE, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?????, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:10, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:16,
Reply)
A friend of my Dads, who flirts in'n'out of the FT100, has a motto of "If it flys, floats or fucks; you rent it".*edit*
I mean, TST:RL
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:26,
Reply)
Oh shucks I'm too lateIs anyone still about? Let's think of a use for Gary. I vote draught excluder.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:44, Reply)
I'm still here.I vote ballast.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:45,
Reply)
NICEOr we could get one of those bullets that Bond fires in Live and Let Die that inflates people and turn him into a bouncy castle.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:50, Reply)
A tour guide in Yorkshire.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:48,
Reply)
I'm still here alsoand I vote bait. You know, for sharks, or werewolves and stuff.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:49,
Reply)
since werewolves don't existdo you mean "covering him in blood tying him to a stake in the middle of Exmoor for the rest of time" ?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:51,
Reply)
I like the basic premisebut why would you want to attract sharks or werewolves?
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:52, Reply)
So that they eat the bait.I think everything after that is immaterial.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:52,
Reply)
AhaSo we leave the bait a long way from us, but with a video camera trained on him so we can enjoy the hilarious consequences?
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Or we keep the sharkWe can give it away free with part 1 of "build your own volcano lair". Part 1 only £5.99. Complete in only 300 parts, regular price £5,999.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:00,
Reply)
This is a brilliant ideaIt just needs the right marketing. Are Saddam Hussain and Muammar Gadaffi free to make the advert?
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:04, Reply)
by the powerpoint of grayskull.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
I have minor pins'n'needles in my right buttock, this is a terrible state of affairs as should I stand up to get a glass of water, I might stumble a little bit.It's like my whole life has been turned upside down.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:48,
Reply)
Is there anyone there who can massage some life back into it?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:50,
Reply)
Just think gonz in your new place you can have a lay-z boy with built in massagerproblem solved.
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:54,
Reply)
If you move back in with him, you could be his personal buttock massager.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:59,
Reply)
*googles to see how much they are*(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:02,
Reply)
Holy shit, they're eaither really really ugly, or really really expensive.www.lazyboy.co.uk/la-z-boy-power-recliners/cat_148.html
No thanks
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:04,
Reply)
Yopthe currency of the beverly hills of north london.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:09,
Reply)
Now I know how the scottish feel when their afgani deliveries don't come through...... Yop is so hard to find these days =(
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:23,
Reply)
Awesome there's your house warming present sorted(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:25,
Reply)
Haha, nah', Sad Times.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:02,
Reply)
Man, I've been getting some proper good texts off her this past few days.(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:58, Reply)
A vegetable of any scale would be honoured to be wrapped in her secret charms.(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:00, Reply)
well my little beardylovemuffinI am working tomorrow and dying my hair and watching the F1 on Sunday. Rock and fucking roll.
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
Yeah I tend to pretend he isn't racing and then enjoy the midfield fight(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:17,
Reply)
Learning to improve your grammar as to not sound like an absolute simpleton?No, it can't be that...
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:32, Reply)
you're missing the LOLirony of it, manit's LOLarious.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:47,
Reply)
Oh I'm LOLing.I'm LOLing like nobodies fucking business. He does come out with the rare chortle-worthy moment, but I fear it is unintentional.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)
i haven't seen a single funnyosity from himhis savage hounding of AA made me think he was a genuinely nasty human being, so that might have something to do with it!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 18:05,
Reply)
you've been quending up the work experience boy.Quending of the weak indeed.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:44, Reply)
I wondered where you were today. Can't work out whether I want you to be real or an invention. I do love the parrot more though.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:45,
Reply)
Soon as you mention him!Want some whisky in a lid?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:54,
Reply)
wait a minuteparrots don't HAVE eyebrows.
you're a fake.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 18:04,
Reply)
*narrows eyes*www.youtube.com/watch?v=G268RE6GR4Y&feature=related
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 18:11, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »