I hope she throws up on you

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:39, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

That's a given when they're six months old.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:42, Reply)

another reason I'm staying well away from taht particular adventure.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Kids are alright really, you know
the idea of being a parent phases me much less than the idea of giving birth. That can fuck right off.
(berk, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:48, Reply)

It looked like it stung a bit, but not much. Nowhere near as bad as being kicked in the balls.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:51, Reply)

Fuck off
I was with my sister when she gave birth and it looked fucking horrible. A boot in the fleshsacks is nothing on that.
(berk, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:53, Reply)

Heh heh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:54, Reply)

I've seen it done twice and it ain't fun
There was a report recently collating data on different methods of pain management in childbirth which concluded that painkillers are "the shit". Entenox/TENS/hippy breathing methods/etc. are all pointless bollocks (I'm paraphrasing the scientists here)
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:54, Reply)

To quote my wife about five minutes after my daughter was born:
"Thank fuck for the epidural"
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 21:59, Reply)

See now, a needle in the spine actually sounds worse to me than the childbirth
it can go horribly, horribly wrong.
(berk, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:02, Reply)

We'd researched it and had a private consultation about the risks so knew the options.
Came down to the confidence she had in the person conducting the procedure and the level of risk that had been talked about at the consultation.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:04, Reply)

My wife had our first with just gas and air
Then was determined to have an epidural for the second.
In the event things happened too quickly for that to be possible, but she did manage to get a shot of Pethidine.
I can't comment on how that affected the pain because I don't know, but it calmed her the fuck down.
Opiates FTW!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:05, Reply)

Tried pethidene first - made her puke like something you'd see watching the exorcist

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:09, Reply)

Lightweight!
Yeah, that can be a downside of opiates.
Novice heroin users often vomit the first few times, but it is wonderfully moreish...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:11, Reply)

Morphine was absolutely wonderful
until I tried to move. Then it went badly, messily wrong.
(berk, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:13, Reply)

They're messy and noisy to start with
and then they grow up into cheeky and bratty
and then move on to ungrateful and moody.

Add that to the possibility that they might be bullied or unhappy in themselves, I really doubt I'm much of a catch for any kid to have as a parent...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:02, Reply)

That's other people's kids that are like that.
Your own are just about tolerable.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:06, Reply)

Kids are like farts.

You enjoy your own, but other people's make you want to puke
(MenaceCoat, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 22:31, Reply)