Christ, it's deader than mine, AA's and swipe's mums collectively in here.
Don't tell me you're all off having social lives or drinking cocoa in bed or summat; it won't wash.

For those of you still lucky enough to have two still-functioning parents, which one do you think will be the first to go? And how will you spend the inheritance? I put mine down on a deposit for a flat. Sensible or what?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:02, 76 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm an orphan.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:10, Reply)

HOORAY!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:14, Reply)

I don't think it's anything to cheer about, certainly not at such a young age.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:18, Reply)

Alright Oliver, don't get your knickers in a Twist.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:32, Reply)

Probably my dad, they tend to go early on that side on the family.
Also: inheritance? What's that?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:16, Reply)

Certainly not something I'm going to get from my dad, that's fo' sho'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:31, Reply)

My dad snuffed it four days before my 16th birthday
I still have some inheritance left but mostly it got frittered away on buying elderly, barely functioning Minis, holidays and putting myself through uni. Given the amount they want for a deposit nowadays I doubt it'll stretch to that but there's enough there for a fucking awesome holiday.
(berk, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:17, Reply)

I never knew my dad but my Mum and her civil-partnership-spouse have a nice listed cottage in a village
I'd never live there because it's shit and dull but by the time they cark it it might be more appealing. What a pleasant subject.

I just watched the first episode of Alcatraz knowing it's pretty likely to be cancelled before it gets a second series. I was hoping it'd be shit but it's not so at some point in the future I'll be annoyed and waggling my fists in impotent rage (see also: Firefly, Odyssey 5)
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:26, Reply)

Was it you that was going to go to fabric on a Sunday night?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:29, Reply)

Yes! That was me
I went with my eldest son who thought the music was shit. We were basically there to keep dry until the first train back in the morning (the main reason we were in London was for a Sisters of Mercy gig). I had a good dance myself but was probably too pissed to notice the looks of disdain from the beautiful people.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:32, Reply)

My favourite room is room 2.
Who was playing when you went?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:33, Reply)

I'm almost certain there was only one room open that night (on a couple of levels)
..but, as I say, I was a Grand Hotel's worth of sheets to the hurricane. I had a nice wee doze at some mid-point (we were in there for a good 7 hours after a day of doing Monopoly shots) and remember wandering around. I could dance to the music but it seemed a bit dull and repetitive.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:39, Reply)

The soundsystem is incredible.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:43, Reply)

soundsystem preponderance of soap-dodgers and cockwombles
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:18, Reply)

What did you make of the gig?
I thought the Roundhouse was an excellent venue.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:47, Reply)

We managed to be pretty much front and center
..and it was fantastic. I got into Sisters around the time Floodland came out and never really thought I'd get to see them live but they didn't let me down. The crowd around us were a great bunch, really friendly and chatting away till the music started. Great experience.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:49, Reply)

It was a good gig.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:54, Reply)

I reckon Pa McKee is probably about 0.675 functional.
Ma McKee is, at best about 0.387 functional, averaging motor-neuron/coordination/recall/sexual function/aggravation.
So that adds up to 1.062?
Hopefully Ma will pop off soon, she's had enough of hanging around.
Pa is due a heart attack but has always been a cantankerous cunt so will probably keep us waiting.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:40, Reply)

Well, this is jolly.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:49, Reply)

It's all my fault.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:49, Reply)

I should think so.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:53, Reply)

What do you expect from an ex goth who hides his black heart behind an array of dazzingly coloured shirts?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:53, Reply)

How did you know that I dabbled with gothism?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:55, Reply)

I was talking about me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:56, Reply)

But I have dazzling taste in shirts as well.
I dabbled with gothism when I was 16, for about 3 months or so.

Still like the Sisters though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:01, Reply)

don't most teenagers dabble with gothism at some point or other though?
I mean, unless they're beautiful and popular, that is.

I had my year of very mild gothism.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:04, Reply)

The shirt I wore on Saturday managed to combine stripes, spots and paisley.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:06, Reply)

I did notice that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:07, Reply)

You'd probably find it hard not to.
Swipe has, somehow, failed to get a single pic of it though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:08, Reply)

she failed to get a pic of me, too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:09, Reply)

Yeah but you were actively avoiding the camera.
I think I must have disappeared into the background or something, although I don't remember there being flock wallpaper in the pub.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:10, Reply)

FUcking crazy thing happened this evening.
About 5 minutes ago I got woken up by the wind, but I was upright and crossed legged and I can't even remember going to bed =/ it was like I was one second on the couch and then suddenly upright in bed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:58, Reply)

I get woken up by the wind all the time.
But then again I would, being married to the missus! Lololololololol!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 23:59, Reply)

your missus is fab

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:02, Reply)

She is a bit, yeah.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:05, Reply)

Tee Hee Eee.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:14, Reply)

I aint got nuffink and expect the same you despicable scrounger
I might get enough for a Chicken Mayo and small fries.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:17, Reply)

Chill Quints, you're a successful businessman with two helicopters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:19, Reply)

How very dare you, I never touched Sarah Greene
There's a storm on the horizon Davvers, I hope you've picked a side and a hefty means of justice.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:22, Reply)

On the horizon?
It's fucking pissing down here; the side I've chosen is inside the house.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:26, Reply)

SPLITTER!!!1!
I've taken notes Daverino, just sos you no. There were quite the ruckus earlier, puts the Daily Mail comments section to shame so it does. Scary place this.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:32, Reply)

I clicked Battered's mock up front page with great gusto.
I haven't caught up on the full shenanigans. 200+ replies and looking on a phone are not conducive whilst at work
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:34, Reply)

You're better off out of it Davmeister
These clowns spout any old shit and back it up with righteous indignation with a side order of FUCK-ALL-FACTS.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:39, Reply)

That's the professional classes for you.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:44, Reply)

Well I'm back.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:23, Reply)

Jeff! Jeff!
I've gone live!

Also, where have you been? Somewhere nice?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:24, Reply)

Pub/Dinner combo.
How is 'live' treating you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:25, Reply)

I can't really say yet.
Hopefully it won't be too shoddy.

So, was pub/dinner combo a lady-type date, or jars with the boys?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:28, Reply)

It was a steak and a pint night!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:30, Reply)

Not to be confused with steak and a blowjob night.
Veeeery different companions for those two events.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:32, Reply)

Exactly.
I still don't know the final score.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:34, Reply)

Do you want to know, or are you going to watch it later?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:35, Reply)

I'll have a gander on the BBC website in due course.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:36, Reply)

Duran Duran's badly worded and slightly less catchy demo single.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:37, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:37, Reply)

Alright Jeff?
Did rakky get home alright on Sunday?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:25, Reply)

I assume so.
You'd have to ask her.

Did you guys get back to the North East okay? (I read about the plumbing woes).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:26, Reply)

Yeah, flight was delayed so it was nearly midnight before we got home, though.
Plumbing woes are still ongoing; although the water's back there seems to be an airlock in the system, so no hot water. Thankfully the shower's working again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:28, Reply)

That's something!
How is the route back to gainful treating you? Still enjoying it I hope.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:29, Reply)

Yeah, it's OK.
Not the most taxing job I've ever had, but I'm happy to be earning again and I'm enjoying the commute (i.e. sitting on a train listening to music).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:31, Reply)

ah, freezing cold showers.
Takes me right back to my boarding school days.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:29, Reply)

Were you always in 'the naughty unit?;

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:30, Reply)

No
there were just so many of us that the hot water invariably ran out two thirds of the way through the morning bathroom rush.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:33, Reply)

Sounds saucy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:37, Reply)

Oh, on swipe's FB pictures
you manage to look like John Simm in one photo, and a young Neil Morrissey in another.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:30, Reply)

^ Check up....
Hmm, you seem to be speaking to me, not B3th.

ARSE!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:31, Reply)

That's because I am speaking to you.
Not for long though, I'm gonna go for a smoke and then maybe hit the sack.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:32, Reply)

hit the dangle my
+in the first willing tramp's mouth I can find
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:36, Reply)

Hmmm.
I'm probably going to join you in a tab and then a snooze.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:36, Reply)

I shall miss out the tab
and fall straight into bed.
Where I should have been over an hour ago.

Also, just apropos of nothing, I've got a bastard cold today. I don't think I can even blame Cavy. ugh.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:38, Reply)

Cavy wouldn't give you a cold.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:39, Reply)

Don't think I'll get any inheritance at all.
if I did, I'd use it to pay off my uni debts so I could just start saving for another awesome holiday to europe/canada.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:47, Reply)

Are you hoping to make it back to the UK?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:49, Reply)

Eventually yeah.
won't be any time soon in the foreseeable future though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:50, Reply)

Is study treating you well though?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:51, Reply)

Yeah, loving it.
doing pretty well and I'm enjoying all my classes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 0:55, Reply)