I love those little bottles of wine you get
On a Saturday morning whilst out shopping with the missus I'll excuse myself to go and put a bet on at Ladbrokes. On the way I'll pop into Home Bargains, grab a couple of mini pinot grigios and slip them into my jean pockets whilst perusing the nachos or some shit. There's a secluded path down the back of the chippy where I down the bottles and dump them in the nearest skip. What was the last thing you dumped in a skip?

Alt: What do you collect? (if the answer is 'vinyl' then you are shit and dull and probably Monty)
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:19, 55 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Alt:
Guitars. Acoustic guitars.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Alt: I collect spasticated sockpuppets*.

*Not really, that would be really spasticated.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I collect VINYL, history books, 70s/80s kung fu and blaxploitation films, trainers, VINYL, music books and films,
pictures of your mum naked, and VINYL. I should say 'collected' as I am no longer in a position to add to any of my collections.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Surely you should know all this?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Oh you poor wee thing
Mummy just shaved your head for the Disneyland money, not more pretendies wee Monty, you're safe now.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Eh x 2?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

+ You better watch out you better beware. Albert said that

I'm not sure what you're confused about, if you could clarify I'm more than happy to show my workings-out.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

OK:
1. What should I surely know all of?
2. Mummy/head shaving/Disneyland money/not being safe? Please explain what on earth all this refers to because I really have no idea, soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)

1. You were talking to yourself.
2. You are damaged goods.

Thank you. Come again.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:50, Reply)

this is al

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:40, Reply)

I pity your clients

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Bert?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Yer gunna need a bigger Bert
/chiefgeordie
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:44, Reply)

I nearly threw up in a skip earlier.
The Pizza Hut buffet challenge got the better of me. 21 slices and I only came third. Winner was out of sight with 30. I actually can't move.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Ugh, not sure I could manage one.
You alright generally though lad?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34, Reply)

He was until he completely rammed his arteries full of saturated fat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Saturated fat on top of eight kilos of rubbery dough.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Mmmmmmmmmmmm rubbery dough.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

+ half a kilo of salt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:43, Reply)

Quite dandy thanks.
I mean fuck me I'm never having pizza ever again, I was lying down on the pavement outside afterwards refusing to move for about ten minutes. Never felt this bad. But other than that (I think) things are looking up. Plus, going away on Saturday to my nan's ace little Spanish village. The foods unreal. How goes it down there?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:43, Reply)

I would actually die if I attempted that
I would not be on the pavement, I would be in the ICU having ruptured some of my innards Alien-style.
Have you managed to gain some sense of your lovelife yet, young man?
(berk, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

Well I've been taking another girl out.
Now the ex is texting a lot telling me how amazing I am (duh) and stuff like 'thinking about you, just felt like sending you some kisses'. This is the girl who asked for space. I can't believe she'd be doing that if she didn't like me. I remain cautiously hopeful.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Kick her in the tits.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Don't let her fuck you about, Barry young lad.
Bitches be trippin'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Well I won't know until I see her in person.
Then I can see how she feels. She has been contacting me a fair bit. If I was indifferent about her I'd tell her to do one.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)

So what you do is say
"OK, love, text me when you're not being a headwrong. Hurry, because I won't be waiting around. Ta-ta!"

Then give her a fruity little wave and kick one of your legs up as you spin around. This is what I do, anyway. Oddly, no woman's ever contacted me again. Probably all lesbians.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)

There was a memo.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10, Reply)

What are you going to do about girl number 2
if girl number 1 comes crawling back?
(berk, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, Reply)

Two words:
three
some
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17, Reply)

Dunno I feel quite bad about the whole situation.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:19, Reply)

Well, don't.

( Kroney, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Why?
You're not doing anything wrong.
(berk, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:21, Reply)

Just fear it could all blow up in my face.
And I don't think it's very fair on the second girl.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:28, Reply)

It would appear that you have
Girl 1: excellent but messes you about
Girl 2: not quite as excellent but doesn't mess you about.

Take it from the bitter old men of B3ta, Barry, you need to put a fuckload more weight on "isn't a mental".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)

The first isn't mental at all. Just harder to pin down.
I like her cos I could just talk to her all day and never get bored. Ever. The second is a lot hotter and pretty ace all round. I'm just gonna play it by ear and see how it goes.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Hard to pin down is a danger sign
for both relationships and rape.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:40, Reply)

There's a difference?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:45, Reply)

Going out a few times with a girl does not place you under any obligation to
a) continue seeing her.
b) not see other people.

Unless it has been agreed that you are seing each other properly. Which it doesn't sound like you have. Therefore, no harm, no foul.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I know you're right.
I just know if I was seeing someone and found out they'd been doing the same with another guy I'd be gutted and a bit upset. Actually I don't think that applies to me, I'm not with the ex any more. But if(a big if) I start seeing her again Rees no way I'd continue anything with the second girl.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:55, Reply)

She sounds like a wind-up merchant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:45, Reply)

It's fucking alright thanks.
Last weekend was superb.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

you thieving fucking pikey
Alt about 4 bags of junk from moving
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Fucken wasteful junkie

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

hardly
Eventually it will end up in the trash, at least I paid for it, twatwaffle
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I have no doubt you always have to pay for it

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

what a strange statement
Thanks for that
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

"twot"

( Kroney, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Alt:
Sagittarius mugs, and those silicone ice cube mould things.

I'm probably shit and dull too, but at least I'm not a shitcunting troll.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Who is this ape

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:21, Reply)

i think hes a qotwer

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)

He is a bit too lolwaki/shit for my liking.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:26, Reply)

I think he's a queer

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:52, Reply)

evening muppeteers!
I have never put anything in a skip. I collect empty skips, they are places to hide space
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:59, Reply)

A mattress
Oh how exciting. I think you are either Battered or someone who wants to be like Battered. I like battered. I collect all sorts of stuff. DVDs, CD's, Vinyl, Bikes, Wines, Computers, old toys, Star wars shit.

It is my eventual goal to become the most dull and boring spaz ever.
( Peej, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)