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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Have you ever spanked one out to a picture of a b3ta member?
I know some of you kids are chums on the facebook so you have the opportunity right there. If you're blind to b3tans in reality who do you imagine would be a bit tidy based on their posts alone?

Alt: In a celebration of all that's British who would you choose to close the ceremony?

Altalt: You've got 50p and two hours to live, what do you spend it on?
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:51, 107 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
STOMPING BASTARDLOLZ

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Nae danger, you should be alright kiddo

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Got any good DVDs lately?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Don't know the others but I'm not a fan of Sister Act
..even with Harvey Keitel hamming it up.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:58, Reply)

www.epicporntube.com/videos/d5da875b/sister-sucks-and-fucks-brother-ends-in-cumshot/?cat=sister&n=11-12&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.xvideos.com%2Fvideo1769919%2Fsister_sucks_and_fucks_brother_ends_in_cumshot

DEFINITELY NSFW. DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED.



(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Why even post porn links at 4pm on a tuesday?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Because it's not 4pm everywhere.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
In battered's mind, it's always wank o'clock.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Yes!

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Be careful mate.
Do it too much and it might stunt your gr...err, never mind.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
It's not that I don't trust them implicitly, it's just that, they might just be step relations, which would totally ruin it for me.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)
No, i can honestly say I haven't.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)
And...er...(ahem)...I...um...I never have either
OH HAI WINDY!
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
oh, you, what we have together doesn't count,
we were soul mates from the beginning of time, b3ta is a but a link in the chain.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Our love transcends this crude matter

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I don't have Facebook so no.
But from what I've been led to believe, everyone who goes on B3ta is a fat sweaty-handed furious male virgin, so I'm not sure I would knock one out over the idea of any of them unless REALLY desperate.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Oh no? What if I told you I was balding?
*waggles eyebrows*
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)
I go through all profiles numerically once a month.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)
You must be drier than a nun's clunge by now.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:03, Reply)
Oh Legoland.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Even worse. Shockingly, I've had relations with some.
In the distant past. Imagine!
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)
just because you type with your hands,
doesn't make them members of the forum!! ZING!!!!!!!!!!
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Oh, I say
*cricket applause*

the boy's on fire.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
We've ALL fucked Monty

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Unsurprisingly cheap.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Cornish tin miner's sock

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
well quite, I was hardly counting him.
See more pricks than a pub dartboard, that boy.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I think I'm the only b3tan who hasn't had a go on another b3tan

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Are you kidding?
There's socially inept losers on here that've never had a go on another human being, let alone anything as specific as another b3tan.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Hey - Enzyme's alright!

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Don't you start laying into him because of his "little problem"

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
*cough*
www.m-m-world.com/MMBar.html (SFW)
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
HAHAHA!

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)


*sobs*

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Ah yes but how many here can boast of a steamy night with SEMEN PATEL?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
OMG OMG OMG
SEMEN PATEL
SEMEN PATEL
SEMEN PATEL
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)
altalt (not really but it made me lol)
My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday.
I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)
This is no ordinary love

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
very good
clearly a smooth operator.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I think this joke needs a little more work
but keep it up
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
also less linebreaks

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:25, Reply)
copy, paste, phone, lazy, etc.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
What ceremony?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)
The doffing of the second hat.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I DOFF
for no man
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)
I doffed your mum
lol
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
So doff!

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
You motherdoffer

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:47, Reply)
She was probably piss doff

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Oh man, all these doff jokes are hilarious.
I got a train through Milton Keynes at the weekend. When I saw the station sign I thought of you.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)
OMG!
I was in Manchester this weekend though, so you shouldn't have bothered waving.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I didn't wave, I was half asleep
I had just lifted my head off my arms.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
I'm going to stop waving to you whenever I go to london now.
How'd you like those apples.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I feel sad.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
I think it's more likely they've spanked one out to a b3ta user's mum.
Especially if said mum is six feet under. The bunch of disgusting dirty perverts.

Alt: Stephen Fry. Or Boris. Or their hideous love child.

Alt Alt: A go on your mum.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:30, Reply)
You could have 4 goes for 50p
and still have 6p change.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Alt: the Wehrmacht

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
This is utter waffle

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Not only is this not your best, but with the exception of Vag I don't think it would be anyone's.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
What's not my vest?
I'm not following you here chum
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Your mum would follow a can of chum.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
How come?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
By thinking of someone else, when I'm banging her.
Otherwise, it's 'Acorn Antiques' for me IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)
She likes dog food.
Cause she's a dog. Or possibly Mad Max in Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, in which he eats a tin of "Dinki Di" dog food.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Or possibly a shark
although I don't think sharks like chum in cans.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:09, Reply)
That would be ridiculous Mighters.
Read back your suggestion and think about it. I mean FFS. It's DOG food not shark food you knob.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:13, Reply)
THere are many reasons to consider mighters a tosser of the highest order
and this is just the latest.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:14, Reply)
I hope this isn't terrible bullying, Al.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Looks like pretty good bullying from where I'm sitting.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)
In fact it's some of the best bullying around at the moment.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)
Steady on, it's mid-table at best.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)
I think it's only good bullying if I have a breakdown or call the mods
and then spend years in therapy, and blame all of my life's failures on the fact that I basically wasn't capable of dealing with other kids at school.

I think that's how it works, anyway,
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)
What're you waiting for then?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)
Probably some better bullying.
Or perhaps some life-changing event that I can link to al's bullying, and subconsciously blame him for.

Or I could be waiting for some 1st year lecture notes to finish printing. It's difficult to know these days.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)
Yeah maybe you could feed some dog food to a fucking shark while you're waiting, yeah?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)
I don't suppose they're that picky.
They'll eat Saffers, after all.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:25, Reply)
They are like Captain Placid in that they have to feel that their time is adequately compensated
because they are fucking spastics.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:26, Reply)
I'm starting to think he's worse than Mighters
and I never thought I'd say that about anyone other than Vag.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:34, Reply)
It's also good bullying if I make an animated gif about you, or your other half.
It's even better if I send a link to the gif to your other half.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)
that would, indeed, be good bullying.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)
I concur.
I was just expanding the options. a bit like his mum.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Yeah nice backpedalling 'shark food boy'.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)
Altalt: three goes on your fliddy mum

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)
I'd cover her in baked beans afterwards so he could never look at her again.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Three?
50p and a munchy box is close to the sway-point, otherwise awae tae fuck
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Your mum has a munchy box.
Because of all the crabs.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)
I don't understand this gag, so I'm picturing you smirking like a good un' and fair play to you!
Are you in a relationship? If so, have you given up masturbation?
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)
This is cool.
I want one as a pet.
www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/06/woolly-mammoth-clone-dna_n_1847580.html
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)
You're just saying that to try and be 'cool'

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
He's so cool, he checks out the beat while the DJ revolves it.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)
Well, he's nearly that cool.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:11, Reply)
So....
*whistles*
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Are you only buggin'?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:12, Reply)
I'm chillin' like Matt Dillon on Pencillin

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:14, Reply)
Gosh, I hope you have a 'puffa jacket' then!

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Do you remember that song with the guy singin with the mice that was all rude and shit?
Must've been early to mid eihties
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)
What, in a windmill in old Amsterdam?
Wasn't that rude. It was more the implied rudeness than actual swearing and shit.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:18, Reply)
No, not that one
There were squeaky meeces swearing, it was boss when I were 8
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)
Sounds really good*


*doesn't sound really good at all
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Ivor Biggun

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)
Are Mice Electric
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIyMIBdNzjo
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)
A truly ghastly cunt.
The only good thing on That's Life was the dog that could say 'ROSSAGES'
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:25, Reply)
That's no way to speak about Esther Rantzen

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:27, Reply)
Is 'wizened, buck-toothed old mingebucket' any better?

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:28, Reply)
It's definitely more accurate.

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
I've popped a semi

(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:45, Reply)
YOU FUCKING DANCER!
THAT'S THE ONE! Unbelieveable, thank you so much
(, Tue 11 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)

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