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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Microsoft Excel
This product has been the bane of my life so far today...

What is the bane of your life and why?

Alt. Best ways to relax - Walking does it for me (boring!)

Alt. Alt. Soup (mulligatawny for me)
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:51, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Stop hogging all the threads, we're only allowed 10 per day.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:56, Reply)
If we go over ten, b3th invoices us £15 for each one.
Using those mod powers she has.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)
+none of

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
To be fair, that is what is costs her to get permission to delete the excess threads.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Start a better one then...
*raises handbag*

;)
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I don't see how that would solve the problem of too many threads.
Also, hello GeordieJay.
You appear to be getting quite kind treatment for a new boy, any ideas how you managed that?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)
We've scared all the other ones away

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Well I hope he doesn't turn out to be a cunt.
We let a couple slip through the last time people tried being nice to new people.
But I agree we could do with upping the numbers somewhat.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
i blame jinbojames

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
I haven't mentioned anything too personal
for anyone to say anything particularly nasty about.

Yet.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Why not, you fucking wanker?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Does this mean you have some dark secrets?
You haven't fucked your sister have you?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
I'm seriously going off this joker.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
What a prick, eh?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Nah, not at all...
Im sure, in time, something will be found.

Not in a Saville way, I have to add.

*puts down spade*
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)
I reckon if you've got a deep dark secret that has to come out, then Saville did it right.
They came to light after he died, so so he didn't have to pay for his crimes.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Don't wink at Chompy or he'll be up to his nuts in your guts before you know it

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:07, Reply)
YOU PRICK

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
You never let us down Quintsy

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I just don't know who the hell he thinks he is, coming round here

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Excel - Chompy is your man here.
My ex-wife, probably. Although she does appear to be getting better, in fairness.

Alt: Watching films, comedies, etc. Playing sport of various types.

AltAlt: There seems to be a theme developing here. What's next - puddings? (my home-made Chicken and vegetable, incidentally).
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I'm guessing it's the 'ex' part that has improved her.
/still married.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:58, Reply)
+ to mother earth

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
+maaaaaaan

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
It's improved both of us, I can assure you.
In the latter stages, she was completely fucking bonkers.

When we told everyone we were splitting up, her own brother admitted to me (in private obviously) that she was far too dense for me.

She's now seeing a bloke 21 years older than her.

/B3thLOLs
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Was "Bonkers" the name of her horse?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
embarassingly loud office lol

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Excellent

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Splendid

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Roffle

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Upgrades
Was working until 10:30pm last night and again this morning from 5:30am. I'm still not sorted with it yet

Alt:
I like to wank into pre-prepared mulligatawny soup

Alt Alt:
Homemade, every time. I do a roast pepper and chilli one with sweet potato and corriander.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
What are you upgrading?
Those hours are shit by the way. I feel better about my day already!
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Sportscow here is a 'male escort'.
Hence the hours.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Shut up and brace yourself
Your last upgrade is going in now
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:07, Reply)
People demanding sex at 05.30 is just ridiculous...
I hope they tipped well.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:14, Reply)
I know I did

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:14, Reply)
leper lols

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
15% apparently.
Or '75 pence' in new money.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Bargain

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Our system on a site
...
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
I DON@T KNOW WHERE TO POST

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)
www.mumsnet.com

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Hi Nakers, how are you today?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Blimey
It's only Al everyone
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Can it really be?????

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
It certainly looks that way, yes

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Good thanks, it's friday, got some relaxing but fun plans for the weekend so life is good
How's you?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
SHUT UP.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Soz bud, sucks to be you

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Huey Lewis'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Your profile is banned by work due to "sexual content"

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)
He has got a very sexy profile.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I become spontaneously aroused every time I log in to b3ta

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
I know you can shoooooowwwww meeeeee!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
There are so many banes of my life, sometimes I feel like an industrial bane producer.
Alt: marijuana, and the lilting, plaintive sounds of toe-cancer-ignoring and thus also dead wanker 'Bob Marley'

Altalt: butternut squash, coconut milk and red chilli pepper = a one way ticket to Nomsville, Tennessee.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Altaltsoupnoms

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
best of all the milks

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
I hear you prefer Man

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Apart from 'bacon milk', the revolting liquid which comes out of cheap bacon
I'M LOOKING AT YOU 'DANEPAK'
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:09, Reply)
ewww

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
They inject pork with brine so that it increases it's weight.
Classy product there.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
I like to inject my pork and a briny liquid comes out too
It seems to increase the weight of the Mrs
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:17, Reply)
*ripple of polite applause*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I'm here all week
Try the fish
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I've said it before i'm not going down on your Mrs

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)
It looks like Kevin Keegan is

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
i don't eat Danish bacon as a: it's shit and b: they have very low standards of animal husbandry
you should see what they do to their crabs
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Thanks for that 'Lee Ryan'

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Thanks for that 'Michael Ryan'
not quite sure where I'm going with this
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Shooting up the shops?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Cheers
I'll have a Mars Bar
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:17, Reply)
One of the best jokes EVER.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Danepak? I'd say "BANE"pak more like!
AM I RITE!!!!!!
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:11, Reply)
^ THIS GUY GETS IT!!!!!!!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:11, Reply)
No he doesn't
He's married
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
*hi fives*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
*swordsmans*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Not til you've washed your hands.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
with spunk?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
oh HO!!!!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Coconut Milk - Yes.
Coconut Water - No
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Sage advice

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Basil suggestion

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Rosemary criticism

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Thyme to stop this

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
FUCKING Mint you CUNT

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:17, Reply)
hahah!?
wha?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)
you've cumin and been nutmegged

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
It'll be cumin to an end soon.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
If you've cinnamon of these puns threads...

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:20, Reply)
I'm going to do a Cori-Anders Brevik on you if this continues

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
That's what your cardamom said

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)
Que?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Many banes
mostly involving the stupid and ignorant. Driving being one.

alt: Fine drink and good company

altalt: Tomato and red pepper, with fresh crusty bread.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Good soup call

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:14, Reply)
HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!! MEGALOLZ!!!!!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)
I dind't know bane was on "Strictly" this year

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
I so nearly did this

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Bet you're glad you didn't.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:20, Reply)
*waggles hands*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
*inserts penis*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1778945
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Depends if you keep wiggling or not.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)
Just a little bit

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)
a little bit more.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)
*wins eurovision*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I just googled her to see if she was still fit.
Turns out she wasn't actually fit in the first place.

I was thinking of Sonia.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:33, Reply)
You appear to have got that the wrong way around.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Some rudimentary additional research suggests I was wrong about Gina G. but still right about Sonia.
And now I am wondering if I really should have been doing that at my desk.

Also, the web search maybe wasn't the best idea either.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Just to clarify your position here - Gina G was once fit, Sonia never was, right?
And no, you shouldn't be doing "that" at your desk.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Alt: gardening / time in my shed.
I am 'lunching' with Stunned today. This may be dangerous.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Ban this sick filth

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
The shed, lunch, or both?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
your sick shed wank fantasies

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)
'bane' this sick filth MORE LIKE!!!!

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
I need a "lunch" like that today

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Isn't it 'Peroni Fridays' at yours today?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Fingers crossed, yes

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Peroni making plans for sportel

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Departez l'internette, sil vous plait.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I hope he's Leffe'd

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)
You're only bitter.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I couldn't give a XXXX about stupid pun threads.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I 'Adnans a feeling you were like that

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)
No Boddy's cares what you thought

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Leave 'im, 'e's not Worthingtons it

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
This could be the start of a shepherd neame

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Fuck Hof, Meister.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Could you sink any Lowenbrau?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)
That kind of attitude just Fosters resentment

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)
It's OK, I've Chang'd my mind.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Easy Tiger

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
A Stella performance

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)
C'est une flic juste.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I am on B's login? Hahaha.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)
This is confusing

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Stunned used my iPad whilst I was at the bar.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I hope he didn't use it to look at any of your 'specialist' websites

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Big Stallone fan?

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:45, Reply)
/envies
S
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)
*golf clap*

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)
It was tenuous at best

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
You want to touch the tip of your penis against Stunned's?
Ban this sick filth now!
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Your perverted fantasies are not my concern
...unless they involve breasts and chocolate sauce
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)
You can't

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)
How rude.
And that's not how it's spelt.

/Richard Digance, c. 1988
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)
: (

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)
having no energy.
I keep falling asleep. I think it's my age. Won't be long now before I'm shipped off to a home.
Alt: sleeping.
Alt alt: whatever the nice nurses bring round.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

ge ids
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)
It's all good.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)
That took FAR too long to figure out

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
You need beer, my good man.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
...and on that note - I shall return

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
No fewer than four pints, please.

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
or narcolepsy!
Do you fall asleep in weird places?

Nurse! Up the meds! We got a twitcher...
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Have you seen the videos of those narcoleptic dogs?
They're so cute.
and teh fainting goats. Fainting goats are funny.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)
It's the "nanny state " taking over again

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Funny but...
they don't live long due to terrible heart issues. :(
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Now that IS funny

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*click*
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
whatever happened to Darth anyway?
Did he succumb to AIDS?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Is this Wilf's /talk account?
www.b3ta.com/talk/7591761
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
It rather looks like it

(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

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