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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sooooooaaanyway.
Good morning, one and all.

It is Friday, isn't that great?

What are your weekend plans? I have my flat being inspected by a mentally ill woman and her obese, grey-teethed, semi-literate (but wealthy!!!) boyfriend at ten tomorrow morning. I'm really looking forward to it. I was told last night that having social engagements on two evenings and one day over the next four weeks is 'taking the piss' as it renders me unavailable to babysit my child. I quite agree. I mean what kind of cunt am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:40, 243 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
weekend plans involve being skint after last weekend's wallet-crippling shopping spree.
Got stuff to do at home though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:43, Reply)
You could always build a fort out of cufflinks?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:45, Reply)
maybe babygirl
But more like getting paint tester pots and cleaning my bathroom. Sad tymez.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Are you painting your house turquoise?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:50, Reply)
no.
Cream. The hallway has just been replastered. Going to add a dado rail next year.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:55, Reply)
They'll be no white flag above YOUR door, I'll bet!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Do I get NOTHING for this?
Where's Sporto, he'd appreciate it :o(
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Is it a joke about tedious songstress Dido?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I'm more concerned that you know the lyrics to a Dido song tbh. And that I do, come to think of it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Is she dead?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I fucking hope so.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Nope
she's also a "gooner" apparently, perhaps you've bumped into her in the pie queue?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)
You know me!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)
It's a valid concern.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Now that the 'joke' has been explained for me by Nakers and Batso, no you get NOTHING for this.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:30, Reply)
A massive one
Morning all
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Thnx bbz x

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Morning, Moustacha Kaplinsky.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Morning.
You out later?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Yes, but understandably not past ten o'clock or so, given this nonsense in the morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:54, Reply)
bit gay that.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:56, Reply)
I really should stay out on the drugs and booze until morning.
I see that now. Thanks guys.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:59, Reply)
A complete and utter cunt.
Why in hells teeth did you see the need to breed with this harpy?

I'm off tonight, but I've been out every night this week, and this morning my brain and body is complaining, so I'm gonna go rent a movie, get a couple of beers and a take away. There is this winter lights festival lady pug wants to see, but I'm hoping for a torrential down pour to put her off.

Last night was fucking ace as well, we were auditioning drummers for the band, and this guy came in, and was fucking amazing. It's like he already knew all the songs, it was awesome. Means we can start gigging properly in January rather than have to spend ages teaching a thick drummer from scratch.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:52, Reply)
thick drummer = all drummers

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I will come to one of your gigs,
I'll make my brother drive and his mate who lives local to you will come too. Then your credibility will be ruined forever. My brother's mate has an 'om' tattooed on his earlobe.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:57, Reply)
A purple om?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:58, Reply)
They were great weren't they?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:00, Reply)
My first was a purple om and it was fucking incredible.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Mine was a black microdot.
Menkle.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I'd dedicate a song to you my love.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I would cherish that like a new-born baby in my arms.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Good news - a band is only ever as good as its drummer.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I'm sure there's some sort of cliched Beatles joke to be made here, but I can't be bothered to try.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:01, Reply)
That wasn't even the best Beatles drummer joke in the Beatles.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I'll do this one instead.
Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Meg White.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:05, Reply)
How can you tell if the stage is level?
When drool runs equally from both sides of the drummer's mouth.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Seriously, I would be ashamed of this English

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I didn't know you were South African

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I didn't know there were ninjas in South Africa

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:20, Reply)
My phone has shit predictive text
It's a loan one while mines being fixed and I hate it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Tell it to the judge, ninja-boy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:34, Reply)
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:24, Reply)
completely.
He just slotted in, really intuitive, and confident. Our guitarist was happy with the sound for the first time in ages.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:04, Reply)
He just slotted in
like Scarpe's heavily-oiled cock up his own arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:05, Reply)
silly old scarpe.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:11, Reply)
That was a right cock-up wasn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:12, Reply)
+and proud

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Have you thought about having her killed?
I hear it's quite cheap these days.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:58, Reply)
I've given her address to Jahled.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:01, Reply)
If that fails, you could always tell this guy she was mean about him.
www.b3ta.com/questions/rubbishtowns/post557958
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:02, Reply)
If I tell him she's Greek he will rip her arms off.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Morning.
I'm off to a hotel somewhere in Derbyshire tonight.
Apart from that, the weekend will be mostly spent "waiting for the man".
In case it hasn't been made clear by everyone else, you are of course the worst kind of cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:58, Reply)
You're going to a remote hotel in Derbyshire to wait for a man to come and ravage you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Fuck off.
The missus is over this weekend, rather looking forward to that.

Unfortunately, my phone decided to reset itself this morning, so no alarms for me! Fucks sake, 20 minutes late.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I say. No need for 'blue' language, thank you VERY much.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:04, Reply)
He probably picked up when visiting "working men's clubs" to see a " blue comedian"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Guten Morgen
I have a shedload of overtime to do this weekend and red wine to drink. These are related. As today is Friday it will consist of bacon and Peroni

Alt:
A massive, stinking one
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Hiya luv!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Morning!
*waves*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Where is everybody?
i have loads to do and yet I still put the effort in
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Me too!
Stupid sites ringing up with problems
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:42, Reply)
I'm laughing at EmVee is where I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:42, Reply)
How did this feud start?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:51, Reply)
No idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
It's getting a bit boring now.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:51, Reply)
it needs some new inputs really

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:53, Reply)
He's not being very good this week.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
A Class 4 Subtype 2 cunt, that's fairly obvious
The ex is off the scale though. She may finally bring about a revolution in Cuntology comparable to that apple falling on Newton's head.

This weekend I am off up to Birmingham for a couple of birthdays so I will not be drinking too much tonight either. There will be football but I shall probably be on a train for most of it, and Virgin Trains wifi is virtually useless for streaming video from a dodgy football site with a webcam pointing at Sky Sports.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:45, Reply)
TL;DR

(quintsy, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:46, Reply)
We're marley and marley, everist and green.
Took advantage of the poor, just ignored the neee-dy,
We specalised in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt,
And if you could not pay the rent, we simply threw you out !

We're marley and marley, everist and green, Our hearts were painted black,
Shouldda known, our evil deads, would have kept us in shaaakles.
Kept and bound by double iron, exorsted by the weight,
As freedom comes from giving love, prison comes from hate.

We're marley and marley
Wooooohhhhh
We're marley and marley
WoooOOOOOOOHOHHHHHHHHH
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:55, Reply)
I prefer 'No Woman No Cry' myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
It's more of a demand than a statement, for when your bitch is acting out.
NO WOMEN ! NO CRY !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
i'll tell you what, my friday does not get off to a good start when i get the following call:
"hi swipe, we've got 2 bailiffs here, threatening to take our stuff."

"oh right. well don't let them in, whatever you do. [boring legal chat]"

5 mins later i ask to speak to the bailiffs to frighten them off

"oh, they're just inside, they needed the toilet..."

fucking hell, what part of DON'T LET THEM IN WHATEVER YOU DO did you not understand?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:02, Reply)
You out L8R?
EDIT Jesus what idiots
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)
bailiffs try anything
i had one on my side who got the squatter out by telling him there was a phone call for him... door opens, squatter comes out, bailiff goes in.... sadly few squatters are that dim.

i didn't know about any later - oh wait - is this with jeff? i can't, am at cinema tonight :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)
At least squatting is now illegal, on private residential property anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:08, Reply)
it's just made them target commercial properties
also they didn't include bits of resi that aren't the house, so you could have squatters in your garden shed, for example. either criminalise it or don't - half measures just confuse things!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)
If that's the case then your wife should be arrested
after what she was doing with my glass coffee table last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:11, Reply)
lucky he won't be turning up to pizzabash
he might take revenge. and i have a glass coffee table AND a glass dining table, for bigger loads
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)
not only am i not coming to pizza bash, I'm not coming tonight either

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)
you're not coming to pizza bash? when my oak floors are just down the road from yours?
i am not sure i will ever get over this
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)
the surprise and shock must be overwhelming

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
YES !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I heard that your film has been cancelled due to bad weather.
See you later!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:10, Reply)
hahahaha
at least we get to see each other next fri. i am looking forward to that. i might even clean the flat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:11, Reply)

the flat my foofoo
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:12, Reply)
the first bit was clearly a lie
the cleaner cleans my flat and i have a manicure on fridays.

your strikethrough is just childish and wrong. b3ta is neither of those things.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:13, Reply)
You have a cleaner you effing liar x

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:14, Reply)
true
the thing is, she's not very good. the previous ones from that agency have been amazing. but she leaves me notes that say things like "can you buy more toilet duck? hope you like my work xx" so i can't sack her.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Sack her witha note taped to the front door

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)
is that how you dump your birds?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I find fax is the best way

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Alright Phil Collins

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I am not overly familiar with the work of Phil Collins
so this means nothing to me
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)
oh Vienna

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)
You don't need to be.
He divorced his wife by fax.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)
'I'm a lawyer and I am suing your agency for theft and incompetence - hope you like my work xx'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
If your tenant is that thick then losing their telly might teach them a lesson

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)
i frightened the bailiff off for 7 days (i can be very scary in a posh "sue your ass" kind of way)
even though my client was clearly in the wrong. ha.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Baliffs have fuck all rights, but they usually don't turn up unless you've beena prick
what had this lot done?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)
not paid the landlord
i found a technicality in the demand which sent them away, but doesn't change the reality that the client hasn't paid!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Black Friday my fucking shitpipe.
No fucker is buying anything off my firm today.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)
It's not black friday
well, it is, but it'll be another couple of weeks before it all kicks off properly.
With all this horrible weather, the media can make some nice scaremonger stories about us all drowning, instead of whipping up the masses in to a buying frenzy over "amazing deals"
You wait.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Will do!
We've done free delivery all week and it's done fuck all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I'll buy something what do you sell?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Glass coffee tables

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
well mum did say she needed a new one for Christmas...
We have some german cousins coming to stay and she wants th house to look nice you see.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Haha
Don't forget to buy one of those massive tubs of peanuts!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
My back hurts.
I'm getting fuck all sympathy from anybody aside from my boss. This feels all wrong.

The trouble is, you see, I'm so fucking manly that I'm resistant to painkillers. The painkiller is all like "stop working, nerve" and my nerves are all like *middle finger*. Sometimes being so tough is a curse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Oh Kroney that's such a heap of shit.
You take medicines at the drop of a hat because you are a cowardly French bender who once had a six month course of antibiotics to get over seeing a moth on The Really Wild Show - THAT'S why 'the drugs don't work' and you know it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I hate to have four injections of local when I had my wisdom teeth out
because the fucking stuff was too weak to bullyboy my nerve endings. That was no laughing matter as, alongside all the other things I'm afraid of, I don't like needles.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)
When my kid was born (caesarean)
her mother was such a chemical dustbin that she could still feel everything: they gave her the absolute maximum amount of drugs permitted and it stil wasn't enough. The doctors' faces were priceless, they'd never seen anything like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:26, Reply)
It's genetic, in my case. My grandfather was the same way.
Only he was too proud to say it still hurt, so he went through a number of operations whilst still feeling most of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Yes, I've heard that your grandfather was 'the same way'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
is this the one that is now walking around causing all sorts of misery in your life?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)
try not to imagine a swarm of moths with needles for probocises

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I sense an image challenge

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Al needs to make some sort of flashing moth/needle/seinfeld gif

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I'm also doubtful of those stories of people having to have loads of painkillers,
i bet you just don't like the buzzy feeling of the drill because you start thinking about the flutter of mothy wings in your mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:27, Reply)
'four injections of local'?
What, that guy off here? GAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Four is rather optimistic at my age

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Just don't expect me to bend over too far
My back hurts, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Four injections is pretty standard for having wisdom teeth out.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)
This wimp just doesnae get it, PC.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
What? Then why don't they use a stronger painkiller?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Because they know your weedy Gallic frame can't even cope with marijuana?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Your fucking back hurts?
jesus christ kroney, you whinging old ballbag. Go have a lie down and leave all the hard admin work to the young people who can sit still for more than an hour without getting swollen ankles and flatulence.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:23, Reply)
he probably has a blood clot on his spine

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:23, Reply)
But how will anyone know to try turning it on and off again if he's not there?
You haven't thought this through WP.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)
This is remarkably similar to the texts I've been getting off the girl I'm seeing.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:24, Reply)
well, that makes me feel a bit sick.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Now he's going to show you a picture of some tits he got off the Zoo website.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I hope your fiancee doesn't find out about that, you old rogue.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I saw her with her little face pressed up against the glass outside a wedding dress shop early
well I say wedding dress shop, i mean "chick O Ribs", she was waiting for their breakfast special
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I heard it was 'Kenzie Fried Chicken'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I do not get this

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:35, Reply)
It wasn't funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)
"seeing" is an admission
you'd better change your bells. they are no longer ringing out for christmas day, they're ringing out for kroney's wedding day........
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
STFU

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)
It's a... nice day for a...
FRENCH WEDDING.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)
"Do you, Kroney, surrender to this woman?"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Don't you fucking start too.
I hate you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:55, Reply)
And yea, verily, they didst plight their moth

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Tres bien

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:00, Reply)
ohhh this meme has got some long, long legs

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:53, Reply)
And big flappy wings?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:04, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1790913
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)
It makes a change for the big white flappy thing not to be a flag

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)
i have started a new thread for this
it's too good to miss
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
what as actually happened
is that you've taken so mnay painkillers over the years for boo boos, headyaches and period pains that you've become immune.

better hope you never get cancer, cos that is going to smart without painkillers.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Well, I'm happy you've all been so understanding :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:35, Reply)
didums

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Never mind all that.
I've just had the test pressings of my album delivered.
I'm extremely excited and there is no way I can do any work now.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Business as usual then.
Except that you're excited.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I just can't hide it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Then get ye to the khazi, because if the Pointer Sisters have taught us anything
it's that when a chap gets into this state he is liable to 'lose control'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
But I think I like it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Morning 'Kroney'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Nope, just freezing a shit.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:49, Reply)
click

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I had a test pressing of your mum's tits last night
they were flabby
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I think you've got the wrong mum then.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I have to say I'm rather jealous.
I mean, obviously I'm not jealous that you have a test pressing of your god-awaful Kershaw drivel LP, I really, REALLY don't want one, but nothing I've ever recorded ever made it to that stage.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Well it has cost a fair few quid, which realistically we are unlikely to make back.
But some of these will survive longer than I will, so I can die happy now.*

*Yes, I know this would make you all happy too.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
will you be busking in Kingston with your cd's on slae from an old suitcase, optimistically priced at £10?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Go on then.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
he should choke himself to death on his own beard

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I nearly choked on your mum's ladybeard last night.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:55, Reply)
take the piss if you like
But Zippo pays her well
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Zippo's son Lee Carter once tried out for keyboards for Electric Head Funk.
He was fucking dreadful. Nice lad though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)
most tenous name drop ever

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:04, Reply)
I hope they're warm vinyl rather than that tepid shit CD malarky.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
There are no plans to issue the album on CD.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Can you believe this guy????

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:45, Reply)
If you want to sell records
you should definitely only release on a medium that the majority of people haven't owned since the Eighties.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I see you've hired Naked ape as a consultant.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:54, Reply)
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT HE HAS

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:56, Reply)
IT EVEN FUNNIER WHEN YOU DO IT!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I KNOW

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I didn't say it was only getting a vinyl release.
I said that it wasn't getting a CD release.
If we are talking about dead/dying formats then CDs are the ones that will ultimately become obsolete.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Oh god, MP3's are like 6C colder than CD's
You disgust me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:57, Reply)
I'll send you a copy on wax cylinder.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)
They are compressed to fuck, he needs to optimise for a WAV file
the IDIOT
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I feel fortunate that I can get the benefit of everyone's expertise on the music industry here.
Who knew that you were all such authorities on these matters?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Well, yes.
But CDs are still the majority medium, barely. Or they're second, anyway. Difficult to hand out mp3s from a suitcase.

It's only Monty and the other Hoxton lensless spectacle pricks that have gramophones these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)
My mates band hands out buisness cards with a code on to get their first album for free.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
That's a good idea.
Means you don't have to spend loads of money on a pressing, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:00, Reply)
And you can recycle them easier than CDs
and they're less of a burden on landfill.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:02, Reply)
It's ok, Nakers has researched the market for me, so I'm confident that we're doing the right thing.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:00, Reply)
You need to write a different album for each fan, you know a bit like the supermarkets do.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)
We have - we've made one album :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1790913
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Oh v good

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Can i hear one of your songs?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)
*winces*
Dude, don't...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
why not?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Gazzed.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
'Fog on the Tyne'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Come on!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)

extremely excited and there is no way I can do any work a massive spastic and I should kill myself any day
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Look at these cunts
www.theregister.co.uk/2012/11/23/adwords_scam/
(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)
alright?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
alright?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRI-IGHT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:49, Reply)
LTI

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:49, Reply)
You sicken me.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Im on a date type thing tomorrow, few drinks and that.
Sunday Im going home to Newcastle for a couple of days with a funeral thrown in for good measure.

A plethora of emotions all in all.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Is your date with a tall dark stranger?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO POST THIS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
how will the date go?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
You're all cunts.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)
But then....YOU KNEW THAT ANYWAY!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Typical Sagittarius

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
This should definitely have been a new thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Done

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)
The worst sort of cunt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:04, Reply)
And what time do you call this?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Sexy time?
Potty time?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Opening Time!
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Too right!
I had a lovely early night last night. Jeff is here later, let's get on it!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)

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