Childhood Dreams
What did you all want to be when you were older and have you fulfilled any childhood fantasies (perverts)

I remember a picture I drew in primary school where I wanted to be a diver, but having seen a programme on killers the night before I had changed it to frogman... The guy who dredges rivers etc looking for bodies.

Nice.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:07, 80 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i dreamt of shoving my cock up my own arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

shoving marmalading
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)

My uncle announced that he wanted to be 'a horse'.
HE WAS 45 AND HE'S MENTALLY RETARDED SO IT'S NOT FUNNY OK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

But did he let you ride him?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I kept begging him to let me but the answer was 'nay'.
DO YOU GET THIS JOKE THAT I HAVE JUST MAED?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I DUN A LOL THEN I ROFFLED

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)

I always dreamed that I'd spend my days wasting time, making shit jokes with strangers instead of doing my job.
I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I stand by what I told the careers peasant at school.
What I ACTUALLY want to do is not to work at all and to go on the Grand Tour. 'Yes but what do you want to do?' That, you deaf prick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

'As long as I don't end up as a fucking careers advisor in a school, I'll be happy'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

I'd love to win the lottery and do sweet frig all. See the world and that...
Much like everybody else.

I hate people who win and say it wont change their lives...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

"And what are you going to do with your TWENTY MILLION POUNDS?"
"Blow it all on booze and hookers, Gethin."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

I could never decide twhat I wanted to be when I grow up
I still can't. I did want to be a teacher at one point, but the reality looked pretty shit so I gave up on the idea.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Is that why you decided to go travelling?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Well, I made this bet, you see....

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

When I was at school all I wanted all I wished for was the terrible bullying to stop
but it hasn't stopped.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

You should probably try to pass your GCSEs, then.

( Kroney, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I love it when i see old bullies knocking about with their ten kids and harridan chav queen wife :)
Makes me feel all nice inside.

Until I remember Im working to keep them in their council house.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Are we SURE this isn't Freefair?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

nah this one is a bender

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Unlike FreeFair who is a nullo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Yet more Tory cuts :(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

oh HO!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Tory Berties
whatever is the world coming to?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I can assure you, I'm just me :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Never mind.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

I had two bullies that made my life a misery when I was at school.
One caught his misses shagging his best mate and shot himself, the other works stacking shelves in iceland. Mind you I shouldn't laugh, my mate started off stacking shelves in lidl and is now a store manager and earns nearly twice what I do.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Two?
I had dozens of the fuckers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I had more than two, but these two were the worst
I was quite bullyable. I had very bad acne and was tall and really skinny so I couldn't get trousers that fit right. Might as well have painted a target on my head. Thankfully now I am totally hot and sexy.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:50, Reply)

your mate earns £20k year? *whistles*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

1/10
you've gone downhill in the last week
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:49, Reply)

I'll try harder

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Shouldn't be too hard

( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

You should probably have tried being less pathetic and obviously bullyable, then
HTH.

xxx
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

Turning up on the first day dressed as 'Mr Sulu' might not have been the best idea after all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

When I was a young'un I wanted to write a novel
and guess what, motherfuckers? I just did!

I may be slightly insane from teh sleep depravation.

I mean, even more insane than usual.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

I b3t its pathetic
yeh thats right b3th, pathetic.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)

To be fair, it probably is.
I'll start editing it once we get into the new year.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Can't polish a turd b3th.

( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

At least I have a better moustache than you.



Wait... hang on... what I meant there was....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Longer and bushier maybe
but not better.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

I just looked on the popular page and saw the post about my youngest daughter being called battlecat
and I just want to say 10/10 well done. A week after it was posted and it just made my day.

Thanks

p.s. b3th can fuck right off
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

: D

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)

I really am the best one here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

the best one here a bent spastic

/isthisgettingtiredyet?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

it's as tired as you are after a yogurt knitting marathon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:50, Reply)

I wanted to be an author
But I never could think of an good and original story.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

That never stopped J K Rowling.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

or James Hutchings

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

OR THAT TWILIGHT CUNT
(angry caps)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

She said she was a single mum on benefits when she wrote that.
Well Ms Rowling have you done any work paid or unpaid since you last signed on? Fucking benefit cheat millionaire bitch!
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Or that Jew cunt who wrote The Bible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Woody Allen?

( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

If that had been posted by anyone else, I might have felt inlcined to point out who actually wrote the bible.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)

The Illuminati?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Dan brown.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

Is it not a collaborative effort by a bunch of Yids then?
Don't tell me it was Brett Easton Ellis!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

Leonard Cohen?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

I would like to say I both get and appreciate this joke.
Good song too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)

I like Leonard Cohen.
There, I said it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

He's shit, and also a miserable shit.
There. I said THAT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:13, Reply)

or SpankyHanky

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Fast jet pilot.
Probably. I can't remember. Certainly that was the only thing I really set out to do other than what I do now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

what went wrong? bad eyes? too fat?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:50, Reply)

Fat eyes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:51, Reply)

you old flirt you!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

That.
Also, the 37 year old me is appalled with the ease that the 17 year old me would happily have gone off into a job that involved killing people.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

My wife wanted to join the raf and become a babykiller pilot
When I pointed out to her that she would have to destroy targets without knowing if there was a tiny newborn baby it there she said that would be easy for her because she would never see them. My point of view was that at least if you are on the ground you can make a choice whether or not to shoot the cute little baby terrorist. But hey ho she didn't get the grades to become a pilot or something and it never happened. I still worry about her apparent ability to kill without remorse.
( Peej, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

you're done for

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:02, Reply)

it's ok they would most likely be brown people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:01, Reply)

phew.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)

h

they are rather smelly aren't they
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Femurs are too long.
For seriz. Apparently. But, yeah, failed a fast jet medical during a flying scholarship application, had no interest in flying transports when I was 17. So gave up on it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)

the pizza has worn off and i'm really tired now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

have a quick snort of something.
perk you right up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

bath salts don't work at his tender age, b3thers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

stick some Ivory Wave up your cornhole

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Or a jalapeno

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:01, Reply)

I only have sugar puffs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Japs eye it is then...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Even I winced at that one.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)