Alt: Let's just skip straight to this....
I can only assume that his car is a Honda Accord and his bird is a supermodel.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21410565
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:46, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

'Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.'

Of course he did.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)

Pity Search is borked.
We must assume that this has already appeared on QOTW.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)

I have £1000 on what actually happened
being he fell over while trying to put a shelf up and stabbed himself with his screwdriver and is far too embarrased to own up.

Although, to be fair in Wisbech people not dropping chips is pretty important, but it's usually the local scrubbers being bent over the bins behind nightclubs that are trying not to drop them
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:51, Reply)

To be fair to the populace of Wisbech
they have developed the extra finger to be able to grip the chips more firmly
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)

Dell are bringing out the Wisbech keyboard; especially developed for people with six fingers on each hand.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:55, Reply)

and the webbing
let's not forget the chip-gripping webbing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Ah the sexy sexy
chip grabbing greased up webbing...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:02, Reply)

It's all happening in Wisbech
www.wisbechstandard.co.uk/news/gallery_unsafe_undesirable_and_unacceptable_councillor_seeks_solution_to_parking_problem_at_march_station_1_1928626
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)

lol, 'course you did, mate. 'Course you did.

( Kroney, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:59, Reply)

Jimmy Hill? Meet Mr Chinny Reck-on.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

There's more chins in this story
than a Boyce family katana duel.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)