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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:21, 149 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I can't log into gmail...

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)
I also very nearly printed out the Tim Vincent wikipedia page to a printer in Wakefield.
I think that could have been funny.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)
Yes psychochomp that would have been funny.
pricks
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
for the record, i don't think it would've been that funny

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
can't see that, so yeah, great thread, well done

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Oh man you're missing a treat
This is easily the funniest thing ever to take place outside of an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)
it would be funnier if I didn't typo anyone
I hope in years to come people will forget the context in which this was posted and firmly believe that I have pictures of my wife's minge on offer
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)
NEVER!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Me me me me!
I do!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Hang on, I'll gaz you some speculum shots

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Ewww.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)
We all know you just wanna crawl in there and trash about a bit

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:34, Reply)
* boke *

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:35, Reply)
you come out afterwards looking like a new born lamb

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
what's a speculum?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Medical device to allow internal pictures.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Someone needs to go for a smear

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)
oh is that what it's called?
rather than the "fuck me it's fucking freezing and don't you have a smaller one"
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)
In your dreams Swipey -
unless your gyno is using one the size of a crossing patrol's sign.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)
I'm alright.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:36, Reply)
is that you?
or is it the filthy name stealer?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
it's me,
I wanted to see if my name was alright. Turns out it is.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
THREADJACK
London b3tans, I'll be meeting Stunned poster for a couple of cheeky pre-train home pints at Liverpool St station on Wednesday at 4pm. Those of you who've managed to leave work by this distinctly unprofessional hour (Monty you have no excuse as you won't have a job by then ROFLMFAO) are welcome. Even Al, who's a cunt.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
there's some secret scoffing going on that night
why don't you get a late train back and stay??
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
The problem with 'secret b4shes' is that they never remain a secret.
Good idea though. Come along DF.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Details please

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
stunned will take you under his wing
all you'd need to do is get a train at, say, 10 rather than 6.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)
well everyone who can read this is very welcome indeed to come along
so there is no need for it to be a secret

well apart from rory. he always turns up, it's such a nuisance.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)
:o(

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
there's a special seat reserved for you
battered's face
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I'm going to spit on your dhal.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)
well it's rude to go in dry

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
that's niche

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Venue update
The hilariously named Dirty Dicks, across from the station, apparently. If I can't swing the meal I'll have a couple of hours before heading home, should anyone fancy some pre-curry beers.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)
i'll try and leave work a bit earlier
would be nice to meet you

what's hilarious about dirty dicks?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
I was about to send you a fairly pathetic grovelling text requesting your presence
Shan't bother now. Playing it cool
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Come along to the curry. All the towering colossi of OT will be there.
Plus Battered lol
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Would love to
but have to run it by the missus. I don't want to end up like PJ do I.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Offering photos of her minge you mean?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
ExACTly

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
like you ran your meat eating past her?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I don't think you're fully conversant with the facts here

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Top tip: avoid sitting near Kroney, he stinks of garlic & surrender.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
And Stunned's liable to piss everywhere unannounced.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
And Monty will probably get snorting coke in the toilet.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
He's all class that boy

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
that's not fair
you forgot the whiff of salami and desperation
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Nah

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
FINE FUCK YOU

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
You've already met me, you need to move on to the others.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
This is a good point
but the last time I met more than one b3tan at the same sitting, one of the others I'd previously met died.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I really hope Ringo can make it next week

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
this has been taken completely out of context

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
YES.
TTJ.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Thank you no

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I had a look at that photo from the last thread with the boobs,
Why would a lady have her top off in the bogs?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Hoor innit

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Maybe they were sex toilets
Is there such a thing as sex toilets?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
well, if there is I've never seen one.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Delia Smith was dead fit back in the day.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I dunno,
I prefer my women not to be irritating.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I reckon I prefer them that way, thinking about it.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
I was unaware that one had a choice.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
You don't get to scratch an sythiletic itch without getting the itch in the first place.... ammirite?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I honestly don't know.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
+ and to actually know something about food and cooking

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
She knows an awful lot about cooking.
She's not a poncy restraunter, but she taught the basics to millions of people.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I find her recipes never work and are annoyingly written, basic and boring
she can fuck off to the internet, i hope I never see her on telly again
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
She speaks very highly of you.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
This ^

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
I respectfully disagree

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
I can cook,
I need a lady who will care for me, and hold me close in the cold of night, to stand by my side through the hard times,and laugh with me through all the great moments and occasionally take one up the bottom.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
The world would be a much better place if all ladies noshed their bloke off at least once a month
and took it up the bum for a birthday treat
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
There are women like that but they are all mad.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Of course they're mad...
...they're women.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Yup, Sally from Oxford
I miss you, you crazy crazy ketamine fiend
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I married one.
Still, BEST DIVORCE EVAH!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
woh woh woh woh woh now hold up now.... hook a brother up.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
That would be cruel.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:22, Reply)
To her

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:23, Reply)
The thing is, they don't really realise how much hard work it is being a 'nice guy'.
You got to listen to their WAH WAH WAH and then by the time you work out all the time you've spent taking them out shopping for clothes, watching their shitty little films, times that by minimum wage 'cus its all like a job. Then paying for their meals'n'shit.... and they STILL don't put out even though they owe you. THEN you realise that you had might as well have bungged all that to the local hooker and you'd be waay better off. AND, and, you click 'like' on their eSomething cards on facebook all the time.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
You should just TAKE the sex you want.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Morning Chompy

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:22, Reply)
I prefer to I like to passively aggressivly guilt trip them into it after lowering their self esteem to sufficeintly levels.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:23, Reply)
How well does that work?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Good plan. I like it.
Wait until they have no self worth and when you shout at them they cry and piss the knickers and stand there shivering in their pissy knickers.

Then BAM, straight up the shitpipe.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Oh nonononono, you don't shout at them at all, that requires far too much passion.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Fucking year end review bollocks, motherfuckoing waste of time stupid objectives and actions and measures
FUCK OFF
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Make sure you put down that time you knocked a 9 inch nail in with your upper lip

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
eh?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
You're really hard, is what I'm getting at

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I see...maybe I'll just punch my manager in the face until he agress taht i have met my objectives

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Last time he mentioned that in the office, he was hauled up to HR
and given a stern telling off.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)

telling noshing
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
100 replies to this shit thread?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
you start one Phillip.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
challenge: start one without sex, food or insults
and get it to 200 replies.

cannae be done.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
If you want that sort of thread fuck off to moneysavingexpert.com

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
I kill you.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:14, Reply)
See my sig

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Gonz got over 200 for religion

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Load of Jewish sympathisers here innit

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Free Palestine!

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Sounds reasonable
I’ll take two please
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I'm a big fan of this rap guy called "Lowkey", who does pro-palestinian political rap.

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
my name isn't Phillip

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
It's Liono

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I only answer to my full title

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Or - My Lord

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
So my full title
Are you going to start a new thread or not?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:18, Reply)
Battered hasn't said anything lolwacky enough for me to screengrab yet

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
You do know that search is working
don't you?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:25, Reply)
just photoshop something

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Hey how long did it take you break out of the cell yesterday?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
No cell can hold me

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:27, Reply)
What was it just a producer?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:31, Reply)
haha, yeah
yeah

haha
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)

haha King Zog of Albania
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)

King Zog of Albania King Zog of Albania
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)

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