I am stupidly childish
And still act like I am in my late teens/ early twenties. I did however throw out a pair of baggy snowboarder type trews the other day as even by my childish standards they went a step too far
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When farts aren't funny any more you are classed as "old"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I was holding baby Badmons the other day with my hand on her arse (I know pedo nonce etc)
And she farted so I cupped it and put it on my wife's face, me and baby Badmons then giggled and did a high fived.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

holing her arse?
dear god man, someone call the NSPCC
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

We also did a "fist bump" but I thought I'd leave that out due to the lolarious strikethrough potential

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

so fisting and holing?
bloody west london perverts
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

What's your postcode?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)

a kensington one...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)

south WEST 7 then?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)

ssssssh
i'm a northerner, remember?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)

You really need to add that missing d asap...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Done and done

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

could you go and shut that stable door?
i think the horse is 100 miles away by now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

One of my kids can fart (and burp) on demand.
This causes much hilarity at inappropriate times.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Woah hang on there Sporters old chap
You are giving away secret facts online.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Baggy is not a good look for an adult

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)

it fucking is

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)

I sorry doze, it's just not. It makes you look sloppy and lazy
Anyway the young sk8trs are all about the skinny these days anyway
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I have massive feet.
So I have to wear baggy jeans in a vain attempt to try to disguise the huge feet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I have size 11 and can wear slim trousers, you need to pick your shoes better
No puffy skate shoes allowed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

what size?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

12

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)

how tall are you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)

5 foot 8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)

er what? How does that work?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)

how does what work?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)

how can you be so short and have such big feet?
Normally these things are proportional
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)

This is why I try to disguise them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Isn't this a hobbit thing?
I've not read the geeky bollocks, but aren't they tiny with big feet?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)

I read The Hobbit when I was a kid.
Maybe some magic was worked or sutin.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)

nah
i watched the national lottery programme, but i didn't win no fucking million quid.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)

no, your dad bought you a flat instead.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)

how is that the same thing?
man works hard for 50 years to provide for his children.

girl watches programme which magically comes true.

you're shit at understanding things.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I understand perfectly well.
I was saying that you had the extreme good fortune to be given a Kensington flat. It's analogous in some ways to a lottery win.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:17, Reply)

hahahaha
you go and tell my father that. you explain to him that leaving school at 16 and working his nuts off - including nightschool 5 nights a week when his mates were all down the pub - and then working for 40 years in a bank and then continuing to work 5 days a week as a financial advisor even though he's over 70 is "analogous to a lottery win".

i'll bring the popcorn. and the bandages.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)

not for him, for you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)

if you want to see it that way
but it's massively flawed. for a start, if i were a lazyass, he'd never have given me a penny. anyone can buy a lottery ticket, tramp or millionaire.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

like this:
L
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)

like what?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)

when he stands up, he looks like this:
|______
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Keep trying!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)

it was fairly apparent
and not a joke that stands up to much analysis anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Ahahahahaha, you're a clown

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)

he means a kids' size 12, i think?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)

3ft 9
He is essentially a weeble
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Needs more turquoise.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

and pink
but heaven forbid, not SOLID pink.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

He really is a twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:26, Reply)

well of course not solid pink.
Except for ties.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

what about cufflinks?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)

depends on the shirt.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)

There is a certain level that is acceptable
these however were fucking rediculas, not helped by me being slightly bigger boned when they were bought.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

are you sure it was your bones?
and not your arse and gut?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)

there may have been a certain level of padding around the big bones

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

correct
the last people to pull that off were girls aloud in their boiler suits. 10 years ago.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

What rot.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)

i have an idea
you post a lot about your clothes and impeccable sense of style, amirite?

so........

PICS! let the internet be your judge!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Have you not seen the Pic. Rory linked?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I think not.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)

well then
expect your credibility to remain where it is.

somewhere between a hamster and a pineapple chunk.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)