how about...
shoot, shag, marry b3tans??

by which i mean, which b3tan would you shoot, who would you shag, who would you marry...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:01, 38 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Probably not a good idea
As the first question would be: Can I shag them after I've shot them, or do I have to marry them first?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:05, Reply)

do
you mean "can i shoot them after i've shagged them"? or are you even sicker than i thought!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:06, Reply)

a big
"eh?" to this post.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:12, Reply)

RIS

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:15, Reply)

I'd much rather
be shagged than shot or married, to be honest.

...or were you proposing to one of us?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:17, Reply)

OK
I'm in.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:19, Reply)

i'd start by shooting amorous badger...
because he really should be called sanctimonious badger...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:31, Reply)

damn
you and all your geordie kind!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:39, Reply)

Ah, I get it.
Seeing as I'm the only b3tan I've ever met, I'd have to answer "me" on all counts.

/narcissism
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:43, Reply)

Hmm
Any of the trolls (but if I were pushed, right now it would be Rathen), Tourette's(.)(.), and, erm, Tourette's(.)(.).

I have to say that really, don't I?

Come on rachelswipe, you've started so you have to finish...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:54, Reply)

i'd probably marry........
erm..... djtrialprice because he is so sweet! which he will probably interpret as "charming in a sexless kind of a way" but as there's a very lovely mrsdjtrialprice, that can only be a good thing.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:08, Reply)

Ah. Much clearer.
Shoot: well, there are only a few twattish enough to consider shooting. I won't name names.

Shag: ...ummmm, I'd better plead the Fifth on that one. Let's just say that there are some and leave it at that.

Marry: well, as I have a bad track record in that department, I'll just say that there aren't any female b3tans that I dislike enough to do that to...

EDIT: I'm never gonna live HoN down, am I?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:11, Reply)

well
clearly all of you! or those who'd have me.

except the girls.

no offence ladies.

@trl - don't you mean "plead the filth"?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:12, Reply)

Taken from Wikipedia just for you, O Lady Barrister Type:
"No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."

Meaning that I'm gonna keep my goddam mouth shut on that one, thankyouverymuch.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:17, Reply)

ha! So simple.
Enzyme for all three.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:17, Reply)

@CHCB
In any particular order?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:21, Reply)

that order is fine
I don't have to shoot him dead, do I? Could I not just take out a leg or something?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:22, Reply)

It would hurt, he'd know who was boss
TONY DANZA!!!

*punches Al in the back of the head*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:29, Reply)

*Runs*
*Hides*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:33, Reply)

@CHCB
I suppose in the buttocks, with an airgun, at a strategic moment could be worth experimenting with.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:38, Reply)

BK
Sounds like you're playing Cluedo.

It wouldn't have happened in Professor Plum's day.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:39, Reply)

Heh heh
Plums.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:44, Reply)

Hmm...
since this thread began, I've decided on my shootee, my shagee and my husband.

And I shall leave it at that.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:49, Reply)

.
I'd shoot the trolls and marry and shag everyone else coz you're all so lovely!

* hugs *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 19:24, Reply)

I am quite certain about this.
I would marry Frankspencer because I could cheer him up and make him happy.

Shoot, would be myself, in the foot. Something I often do.

Shag is anyone who can handle a women like me : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 19:49, Reply)

Ok, I'll be the first then
Gayer, BK, Ancrenne
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 20:32, Reply)

Damn straight woman
now get into the kitchen and make me some dinner :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:07, Reply)

Fuck off with yer pine nuts woman
I've just found out I've been eating them yesterday as they put them in the salad at work and I thought they were some kind of sweetcorn.

Not entirely sure what Courgette is
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:18, Reply)

^^
I don't dislike anyone to either shoot or inlict myself upon them as a husband, but I would definitely indulge in some sexy time with becky.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 1:09, Reply)

@CHCB
*blushes*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@Enzyme
I think "*ducks*" might be more in order, sweetheart.

Still - no pain, no gain, eh?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)

@CHCB
I'm not involving myself with ducks. I'm prepared to be broad-minded, but mallard sex is just too much for me...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 10:48, Reply)

no, no
we shoot the duck, cook the duck, eat the duck, then shag, then marry. Just don't turn your back on me when I'm holding the gun.
*is ominous*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:03, Reply)

ummm....
Shoot: Rathen (because he appears to be a complete git with no redeeming feature).

Shag: Bert (anyone that depraved has got to be fantastically inventive in bed)

Marry: Enzyme (always marry someone intelligent who you can have a conversation/argument with).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Yay!
Polygamy!


Anyone else want to join my harem?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)

*bites tongue*
*and refrains from lengthy diatribe*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:56, Reply)