Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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b3th for mod(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 7:49,
196 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I've never met b3th but I'm willing to bet she's a big fat spotty unfuckable mess(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)
Hey Pops, did you see your boyfriend Porkypig was back last night?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:00,
Reply)
Fuck off I hate you all. But I love you all. Oh my god will this nightmare never end....
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)
Whoever makes the best bacon sandwich for Mod(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:00,
Reply)
How are you planning on assessing this?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:33,
Reply)
Yeah, I don't see how this works on a messageboard.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:55,
Reply)
well he could go to each person's house individually and then eat all their bacon sandwiches.(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Whoop sorry I was working Online entries of course, it’s not like any of you lot go outside
Please see terms and conditions
Terms and Conditions
1. The Bacon Sandwich competition (the "Competition") is open to residents of the UK aged 18 and over.
2. The Competition is not open to employees or agencies of B3ta, their group companies or family members, freelance contributors to B3ta, or anyone else connected to the Competition.
3. Entry into the Competition is acceptance of these Terms and Conditions.
4. To enter the Competition you must fill out the online entry form above. If you have any questions about how to enter or in connection with the Competition, please email use [email protected] with "Bacon Sandwich" in the subject line. Do not email us to enter; only email if you have difficulties using the online entry form above.
5. Only one entry per person. Entries on behalf of another person will not be accepted and joint submissions are not allowed. You are responsible for the cost (if any) of sending your Competition entry to us.
6. No responsibility is taken for entries that are lost, delayed, misdirected or incomplete or cannot be delivered or entered for any technical or other reason. Proof of delivery of the entry is not proof of receipt.
7. The Competition closes at 23.59 on 14 June 2013. Entries received after that date and time will not be considered.
8. One winner will be chosen from a random draw of correct entries.
9. Two winners will each receive Fuck all B3ta accepts no responsibility for any costs associated with the prize and not specifically included in the prize.
10. The winners will be notified by email on or before 21 March 2013 and given details of how to claim their prize. If a winner does not respond to B3ta within two days of being notified by B3ta, then the winner's prize will be forfeited and B3ta shall be entitled to select another winner (and that winner will have to respond to the phone call or email from B3ta within two days or else they will also forfeit their prize). If a winner rejects their prize, then the winner's prize will be forfeited and B3ta shall be entitled to select another winner.
11. Details of the winner can be obtained by sending a stamped addressed envelope to the following address: Yeah like we’re going to tell you lot
12. The prize is non-exchangeable, non-transferable, and is not redeemable for cash or other prizes.
13. B3ta retains the right to substitute the prize with another prize of similar value in the event the original prize offered is not available.
14. The winner may be required for promotional activity.
15. No purchase necessary.
16. Nothing in these terms and conditions shall exclude the liability of B3ta for death, personal injury, fraud or fraudulent misrepresentation as a result of its negligence.
17. B3ta accepts no responsibility for any damage, loss, liabilities, injury or disappointment incurred or suffered by you as a result of entering the Competition or accepting the prize. B3ta further disclaims liability for any injury or damage to your or any other person's computer relating to or resulting from participation in or downloading any materials in connection with the Competition.
20. B3ta reserves the right at any time and from time to time to modify or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, this Competition with or without prior notice due to reasons outside its control (including, without limitation, in the case of anticipated, suspected or actual fraud). The decision of B3ta in all matters under its control is final and binding and no correspondence will be entered into.
21. B3ta shall not be liable for any failure to comply with its obligations where the failure is caused by something outside its reasonable control. Such circumstances shall include, but not be limited to, weather conditions, fire, flood, hurricane, strike, industrial dispute, war, hostilities, political unrest, riots, civil commotion, inevitable accidents, supervening legislation or any other circumstances amounting to force majeure.
22. The Competition will be governed by English law.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
I copy/pasted YM last night(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
I got the general idea So yes
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
Christ, that /links lot are a bunch of shit heads, aren't theyFor so many reasons, I'm not sure I have the room to list them all here.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:43,
Reply)
If each board had a personification...a 'look'....Then /links would be scarf-wearing hipsters, sneering down their noses at people that are actually better than them.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:51,
Reply)
I don't imagine them dressing to go outside that often.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:56,
Reply)
inbox me im hear for u xx(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:50,
Reply)
Well, today it was this:www.b3ta.com/links/980301
But they get pissy if someone posts something that's been on there within the last 5 years...they CONSTANTLY go on about how much they hate sci-fi (doing that oh-so-LOL thing of deliberatley mixing up Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr Who, etc)....and 99% of what they put on there are Youtube videos that they've stumbled across while wanking in their Mum's spare room. They've become very boring and predictable. Message ends.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:50,
Reply)
chill out 2hats, they've always been great to me whenever I've posted there(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:53,
Reply)
Maybe I'm off the markIt just seems that whenever I visit their, it's just the same old shit, over and over again.
Woah...am I getting bored of B3ta?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:54,
Reply)
being bored of b3ta is like becoming bored of being a fat gay lonely unloved dead end wanker(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:56,
Reply)
You're rightWell then...I guess it's time to take the pills.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
yer risperidone three times a day and lorazepam or diazepam for the inevitable boohoos in the afternoon usually works for me(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
don't be a pussyhole all at once with half a bottle of scotch or not at all(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
I'm not keen on scotch these daysCan I do it with apple Tango?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
yer whatever you're comfortable with(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:08,
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i'll admit I'm still waiting for that initial front page popular link, but once that comes it'll all be gravy(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
So I see that all the wankers that are too young to remember Thatcher have managed to get that song into the top 10It's as clever as it is funny.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:17,
Reply)
I'll bring in a class system whereby the proles can only speak when spoken to(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
he's an alcoholic, of course he's not 'alright'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
KEEP ON TELLING YOURSELF THAT(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
Roight, mersh? I have a nasty feeling it's going to be a long day.
I get paid on Monday so this weekend is likely to be shit too. And it's raining.
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:04, Reply)
I am broke, I have hundreds of pounds worth of expenses to put through, but it's such a pain in the arse systemplus I have to pack up my desk today as we're all being moved about, tedious.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
Can you not get a cheeky advance on the expenses? Do you at least get to leave early as it is moving day?
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:09, Reply)
only moving desks, not buildings...they do it every 6 months, keeps us on our toesnah, expenses are all reclaimed, i'm just being lazy but it is crushingly boring entering them all
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:12,
Reply)
Woah I don't want my photographs deletedHow can I opt out?
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
Seriously man I got up at 6 and went to the gym this morningI dunno who the fuck I am anymore :(
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
Not really, I just would like some sex with ladies again and I'm a horrid fat mess and it's been a whileSo I figured I'd go back to the gym and do things and maybe watch what I eat a bit more and maybe I'll scam some bird into showing me her knockers someday
Pub tonight though
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
NiceWell good luck. I constantly complain that I'm not happy with this and that, but I'm too lazy to actually do anything about it. Good for you.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:10,
Reply)
Bleh, just making small changes at the moment.If I can keep up with going down the gym four times a week, I'll be happy enough. I just wanna feel a little better is all.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:28,
Reply)
you'd be surprised how quickly things change if you do it properly.Good luck. You'll get norks soon enough.
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:13, Reply)
he's got them already, I believe that this plays on Theo Bans already fragile self esteemhe tries to avert the shocked looks on the faces of those at the bottom of the strairs as his braless manboobs swing all over the place on his trudging descent.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:16,
Reply)
ahhhh well then he could just pull them up and rub his face in his own moobs then?(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:19, Reply)
I prefer bosoms to be clean shavenRubbing my face in my moobs is like rubbing my head on two giant sweaty testicles
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:26,
Reply)
well then shave them. or wax them, a la whatsisname in forty year old virgin.(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:28, Reply)
I got hair everywhere else, I ain't having two giant clean areas down me chestI'd have to wax everything, and I don't think there's enough wax on the market anymore.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:29,
Reply)
shame I threw out the paraffin wax seal from my chutney jar earlier, I would have donated it to the campaign. (, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:30, Reply)
And you grew tired of that when you were a choirboy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:30,
Reply)
When I'm over I'll nab it off youUntil then I'll just have to rely on my trusty cosh
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:27,
Reply)
funnily enough I got to use LOADS of that over the summer.there's a very definite smell to it.
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:29, Reply)
+ crept silently though the trees. A soft glow from the house left jagged shadows across his monstrous face; he needed to feed.(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:28,
Reply)
I should be a modI'm fair to everyone
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:23,
Reply)
Shut up Nobody likes you anyway
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:24,
Reply)
You're only saying that because you want to suck his udders(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:27,
Reply)
And you're a Bent Spastic(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:33,
Reply)
yeah but in the morning you'll be a prick and i'll be drunk(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:47,
Reply)
are you Battered?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:19,
Reply)
There's no point having a mod.This place, in general, is the equivalent of a toddler's birthday party where someone's spiked the jelly with speed. There's no point modding when the modees lack even the self-awareness to understand why they are being modded.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:28,
Reply)
I can't be the only person to smirk when peoples pictures, names and stuff get posted(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:30,
Reply)
well you are a complete enigma so you've got nothing to worry about(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:32,
Reply)
I JUST WANT TO BE ALONEalso it's a ballache if fellow posters start threatening you with your work internet policy and other lolarious internet japes
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
an enigma wrapped up in a mysteryparcelled in a natty shirt.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:40,
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YES THATS RIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:36,
Reply)
yer thats like the only detail theyve got on me man(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
Just imagine if I found out that you live at 22 BIRD close eh EH !!!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:47,
Reply)
street view tells me theres at least two people next to you with revolting caravans THATS A NO THEN(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
I smirk when toddlers fling food and throw tantrums, too.doesn't change what it is.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:38,
Reply)
You won't be smirking in two years' timewhen it's your walls covered in mashed potato.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:40,
Reply)
Oh, I most certainly will.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
I quite like the modding that goes onIt really seems to upset some people, who then go on to say it didn't upset them, and quite the opposite, you're the one who's upset, I'm not upset, don't call me upset, you stop being upset, but you're the one who's upset.
I feed on internet upsettery
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:32,
Reply)
I'm NOT upset, I'm just gonna go on Facebook and moan about it and then spend a few days devoting most of my attention to letting you all know how upset I'm notThat'll show you
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:34,
Reply)
Don't forget to throw the mod off your facebook groupjust to prove how much you're not bothered by it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
at least you're not upset by this(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:45,
Reply)
The internet is SERIZ BIZNEZ, Theo.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
I think it's quite amusing.They get pictures modded, then wang on about how upset everybody's getting about it whilst getting upset over being modded, when all anybody on here does is roll their eyes and stop posting until they get bored and go away.
Also, they tend to do it most in the evenings and weekends when the board's dead and then accuse everybody who's not there of being sad and lonely.
It's all rather funny.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:46,
Reply)
I like both sides, the side getting upset about their pictures being modded (and then posting loads about how not upset they are)And the side hooting for the pictures to be modded and getting all cross cos they're 'at work'
Everyone amuses me
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:49,
Reply)
This is an amusing post.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:55,
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I for one endorse it fully.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
NO NO THERE IS A VERY IMPORTANT POINT TO BE MADE HERE(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
pssst.I'm pretty sure there isn't, you know.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
Whoah Sporty is not lazy(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:33,
Reply)
*takes a look in the mirror*(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
Best of all Bod'sDid you know that Bod sampled Cab Calloways "Minnie the Moocher"
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:34,
Reply)
well, no it didn't, because sampling wasn't even invented back thendid YOU know Derek Griffiths played the penny whistle on the theme music?
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:37, Reply)
also it sounds fuck all like Minnie the Moocherwhat with that being in E minor and the Bod tune being in B flat major
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:39, Reply)
Of course sampling had been invented back then.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
oh yeah right, it's 1975, just let me start up the Akai and Protools and let's do the Bod theme right here(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Because sampling began when the digital sampler was invented?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
oh right, yeah, I guess the radiophonic workshop created the Bod theme by cutting up tape loops of Cab Callowayyes, that's what happened in 1975, how foolish of me not to realise
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Alright, don't get upset about this.I didn't say that there were any samples used in the Bod theme, I said sampling had already been invented in 1975.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:48,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1866378
Here you go
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
do you know the difference between a "sample" and a "cover version" ?also, the music in that clip is fuck all like Minnie the Moocher
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:45, Reply)
I can't help feeling you're not making an effort to get to know us, Kay-Zee(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
You're right - there is no sample there.I think HH is referring to the little figure near the opening of that clip (F#, F, D#, C) which are the same notes as the end of the second and fourth line in the verse of Minnie the Moocher.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
But then you stopped caring, like, 20 minutes ago.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
You think the net is closing in on King Zog?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:41,
Reply)
It's alright. If he goes down, at least he knows a good lawyer.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
give up being a mod then.If you're not going to do anything what's the point.
(, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Not doing anything about one thingis not the same as not doing anything about this thing.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
But it is the only thing she can actually do as a mod.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
I can ineffectually flail my fists if that helps?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:19,
Reply)
MUUUUUUUUM THE COLOURS ARE MAKING ME ANGRYDO IT MUM MAKE THEM GO AWAY :(:(:(:(
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
See? both sides are funnyI like this board
You're all rather upset at each other
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Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
I'm notI'm as chilled as a Hindu cow
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
Balls,They are fucking ace at jenga.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
Haha yeah pets do the funniest things(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:06,
Reply)
you've got man-milkshake all over your face(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
It's going to cost me nearly double my current insurance rateto insure my car when I move to London.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
If only London had a good public transport system...(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
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