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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so the couple standing in front of me on the tube this morning slurped the faces off one another all the way from kensington to westminster. how far is it ok to go in public?

alt: tell us about the last time you had a proper toddler strop and threw your toys out of the pram. so that we can laugh at you.

altalt: soup or salad?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:10, 176 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Full sex and/or oral sex is fine.
alt. when I was a toddler

Alt alt soup
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:11, Reply)
we've all mucked around on an empty train
but checking your oiseau's fillings with your tongue at 7.30am on a packed tube is just rank
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

alt.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
I was thinking the same thing

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)
NONCE

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
From Kensington to Westminster seems an acceptable distance to go.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:11, Reply)
If they had started in Hammersmith, I reckon that would have been a bit too far.
Earl's Court, maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)
you didn't hear the slurping
like an oyster being pulled out of your granny's fanny
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
12 in
13 out
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
Eww you horrible git

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Soup.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
PDAs?
I'd say anal rimming is too far on a tube

Alt:
Idiot customer a few months ago on the phone, claiming to know everything and not listening to anything I was saying. Proper phone slammer, chair on floor and kicked a divider screen, putting a massive dent in it. Oops

AltAlt:
Soup as most salads are watery tomato, cucumber (devils cock) and raw onion
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
I had one of those this morning.
I didn't have a massive girly hissy fit over it, though. I just called her a fucking flid.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Two.Fucking.Hours
Arguing about everything. If you are so fucking clever then why ring IT in the fucking first place?! ARGH!

*boots desk over*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Just say "ok, go and try it your way and when it doesn't work, call me back and we'll try mine".

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
That was after the first hour

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
After a while I get bored and say somethig like
"If you want me to help you, then you're going to have to do things my way." It usually shuts them up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
This is normally my way too
but they just got on my fucking nerves too much
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Don't be so fucking square
let the rimmers rim
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Stevie Wonder's remix really didn't go down well

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)
salad as they can invvolve meat and cheese and eggs and all sorts of good stuff

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:14, Reply)
If only soups could contain meat

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
I don't think we'll ever see that in our lifetimes

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
well, you and i won't

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
You both get enough meat crammed into you anyway

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
yeah , but mashed up innit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
You make shit soup
Get some broth with massive chunks of ham
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
fuck you I don't make any soup are you calling me a woofter?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Yes sir
Yes I am
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Well, you don't eat man-soup
wait, man-soup sounds wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
i don't mind soup as a starter in a restaurant, but it's not a real meal.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
hahahaha you cum gargling rentboy, you

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
He is mate
Go over there and chin 'im... He also called your pint a queer and fucked your hamster
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
I bet he has a fucking lager top

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
you can fuck right off
I'm not some lumbering borderline alcoholic, stumbling from one "lunch meeting" to another, tie stained with marie rose sauce, cloudy eyes leering at the receptionist without a hint of shame.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
You are going to have to narrow this one down

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Absolutely stunned that you don't recognise who he means.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Poster the name

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
What has Stunned got to do with this?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Tina Turner's Giant Anthem

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
oh this made me lol

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
he drinks lager tops, do keep up you Guilford gay

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
you fuckin gay cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
are you calling me a lezza?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
thats crazy talk

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
and cheese
and eggs for that matter
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
you can put a salad in a soup

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Altalt: What sort of soup?
What sort of salad?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
hahahahahahahahaha sorts of salad

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
those are YOUR life choices, my son

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
lentil
lentil
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Too hard to decide between the two.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Thanks Barbra Streisand

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
I'd probably say serruptious finger banging

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
touch screen scrolling or full on daley thompson decathlon?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Tyson style

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
I now have 'Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin ta fuck with' as an earworm
Thanks Nakers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Interestingly the word surreptitious shares a root word with the word rape.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
that's not interesting, soz
Soz, touchscreen plus fat fingaz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)
It might have been more 'intetesting' had I posted this under Nakers' Tyson style post.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Woopa

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
I'll tell you what's really good
cut a little gem lettuce in half lengthways, brush with soy sauce and a little seasame oil. Char grill.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Needs more black pudding

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Lettuce is way better cooked than raw

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Can't believe this is the same guy that thought eating soup was gay.
Honestly Nakers, listen to yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)
i didn't say soup was gay...I just don't care for it terribly

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I'll tell you what's really good, Nakers. Cut a little gem lettuce in half lengthways
and then go fuck yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Click

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
I'll tell you what's really good
Gazzing rob and pleading with him to block your IP address and delete all evidence of your ever have posted on b3ta, then downing a pint of Domestos and jumping off the roof of Trellick Tower.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Make sure you have some lemonade in the Domestos

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Domestos top

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 16 May 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Brush with soy sauce, first.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
altalt: I love a steaming bowl of cock-a-leekie

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)
I like a nice Greek salad
PDAs are embarrassing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Fun fact:
Feta (as in 'feta cheese') has the same linguistic root as 'foetid' - the reason for this is that it's not really a 'cheese' at all. It's the salty, stinking smegma from the bellends of obese, moustachioed oleaginous Greek bummers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
you need your own history of food program

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)
I see myself as a modern-day Keith Floyd.
I reckon I would be a good food programme presenter.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Anthony Bourdain is my favourite

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
He's cool

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Simon Rimmer could be the next Gary Rhodes!

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Gary Rhodes could be the next Nigel Kennedy!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Ainsley Harriott could be the next Lenny Henry!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:29, Reply)
BECAUSE HE'S BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:29, Reply)
DAWN FRENCH COULD BE THE NEXT MICHEL ROUX

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Because she's eaten him?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)
something something thick white sauce

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)
I see you more an English Yotam Ottolenghi

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
I see you as an English Reza, spice prince of India or whatever that fucking whoopsie is called

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Fun fact:
You're a Tommy Saxondale prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1965254
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Nice use of "oleaginous"

(McChinaman banned, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Damn those Russian billionaires

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Feta and olive are the only nice things in a Greek salad

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)
What about Your Mum's Tits?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Her tits go in all her food

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
We have got a cleaner.
I'm looking forward to having a more dust free house and a clean hob, but the hand wringing hysterical guardian reader in me feels terribly guilty about having someone else clean my house for me.

On the plus side, I'm helping an immigrant so that helps to assuage my middle class guilt.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
I have a cleaner
It is the way forward. Who the fuck wants to clean?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
cleaners?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I don't mind doing it, but I don't have time
after looking after a baby and then having your tea, you just want to sit down and watch some telly or read a book or sexually assault your life partner, not dust the blinds.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)
Indeed this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
why would you feel guilty about having a cleaner? what is wrong with you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
"the hand wringing hysterical guardian reader in me"
As a white man I have real issues with the idea of slavery.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
yeah, but your paying her (I assume) so it's not slavery
it's this sort of attitude that makes you lefties look pretty thick
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
^GAY

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Really?
Because as a white man I think it's a jolly good idea. It's usually the blacks that don't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
You know why?
inherently lazy and undisciplined
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I'd pay them if I could rely on them to turn up on time.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
HI NOEL!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
He's having to confront the reality which is that he hates foreigners touching his possessions and worries that they'll steal his baby and eat her in a big smelly stew.
All the handwringing student liberal horseshit is just a massive exercise in denial. In reality he's a titanic racist, 15 miles to the right of NIgel Farage.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I ignore the big issue seller outside sainsburys
not because he's homeless and I hate his shitty magazine, but because I think he's albanian.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Yeah, terrible human traffickers, the Albanians.
Buy that magazine and you're supporting it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)
are you going to do that thing where you clean up before they come to clean up anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Nah, I'm going to pick my dirty clothes up off the floor
and hang up the clean ones though.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
If I know Al*, he'll fan out a crescent of his skiddy pants on the duvet ready for Mishka to wash.


*to clarify, I do know Al
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
We have a cleaner
She's pretty overpaid and I don't think she works too hard

But on the other hand, she scrubs me toilet. And there's no way I'm going near that after what I do in there
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Don't worry, your guilt will soon be replaced by fury at how much of your house is left uncleaned.
And also why they will inexplicably insist on moving certain items to a different location every time they visit.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Our cleaner keeps putting the bog roll on the bog roll holder, when I prefer to just have it on the side
She's a fucking monster
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
I'm not sure this is a good idea anymore.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Nah your bog ends up clean and she'll probably mop down the kitchen and hoover up
just she'll nick some jewellery too and maybe leave a big bum egg in the bog
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
She'll also insist on washing some dishes, even if there are none that need washing.
And nothing above the height of the kitchen work surfaces will ever get cleaned.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Ours takes all the dishes she finds in the flat and just dumps them in the sink
I dunno why she does that, I want them putting in the dishwasher :(:(:(:(
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I need a poo-poo

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
I had one early.
It was massive.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
it's all relative I suppose

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Ring Paul

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
I was out drinking last night.
When I had a shit this morning the stink was so bad I nearly threw up.

\blog
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Nothing more deadly than a post boozing shite

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Also, it was a flock of pigeons in rusty water; no logs for me today.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Guinness

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Hunny Bunny, actually - some beer from ... Buxton, I think.
I can't remember. I was telling the new bargirl that the landlord kept small furry animals in a cage and killed them with bricks for fun, because she fancied him.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
+ Gracious Me

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Those "My goodness my Guinness!" ads are wll annoying.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I'll get one out to you in today's post.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)
One of my friends used to have a boyfriend who would insist on half eating her face every time he saw her (not literally, before you start)
That was horrible to see. Then again, I'm not a fan of when my girlfriend tries to be coupley with me.

Alt: No idea.

AltAlt: Depends on the soup.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
I had an ex who would do this
This was the reason she became ex
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Your girlfriend must love that.
When all your friends go "You fancy michelle!" do you go "No I don't!" and then realise she's standing behind you and you have to run after her and say "No, I didn't mean it like that!"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Bloody Meow Meow

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Don't ask me, I get a bit billious after a handshake that goes on too long
alt: When the rules, right, on boardgame night, ok, changed without telling me, so what I thought was a rule wasn't a rule so I got things wrong. It's NOT ON, just NOT. ON

altalt soup's a fucking drink what's wrong with you all, and salad's summat that comes with a steak
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Did you know, right?
In Monopoly, when somebody lands on a property, if they don't want to buy the other players are supposed to bid?

There're so many house rules around that game that I don't know which way is up, anymore. I could read the rulebook I suppose, but I'm a man.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:45, Reply)
My problem was that in Eclipse they told me that if I took a system from someone else I had to spend on the influence track to claim them, so that'd wait to the next turn
Except the next turn another guy neutron bombed some systems and just took them straight away without having to use the extra token on the influence track

Pissed me righf off that, K, and I don't mind telling you that.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
NO WAY MAN THAT SHIT AIN'T RIGHT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I NO RITE fucking disgusting behaviour

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I don't know that one.
Is it like Cluedo?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)
It's basically MOO2

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
You rang?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)
hi

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)
did you release your pikachu on him?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)
That'd be daft.
Everybody knows Eclipse is vulnerable to fire pokemon, you prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)
oi don't mock me I'll get upset and then you'll feel bad and then it'll be awkward between us for years

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
yer but then one year I'll turn up outside your house dressed as Brock
and everything will be fine
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
How will you know which house is right when you've got your eyes closed?
You'll need an Onyx to guide you and they're not real
You fool
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
It's a silly rule really
it means the game hardly lasts any time at all if you play with that rule.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
We never used to play with the "you can only build houses if you own the entire colour group" rule, either.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)
What?
That's pretty fundamental. You Monopoly spastic.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)
:(
bit harsh
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
See this is why no-one should play monopoly
unless it's with people you never ever want to talk to again
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
You may have a point, here.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Do you pay all the fines and tax into the middle of the board and whoever lands on free parking gets it? did ya? eh?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)
are you asking him if he signs on?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)
He wouldn't know what to do with the extra money.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)
We did, but not anymore.
It's competition rules only, now!

Except the property auction rule. That's bent.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)
i hate shaking hands with someone when they've just pulled their hand out of their pocket
how do i know when they last dry-cleaned their suit? or what they've been groping in there?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)
LOOK, NOT EVERYONE CAN AFFORD A CAGE FOR THEIR HAMSTER

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
alright dozer

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I can only speak for myself when I say
cock and bollocks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
And perhaps a quick tickle of the brown eye

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
to be fair
that's all you mostly say
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
No, you speak for me too.
I'm always playing with your cock and bollocks when I have my hand in my suit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Hole in the pocket + no underpants.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:57, Reply)
hahaha suit? what?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I'm not dining with the queen here

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
to be fair
it applies equally to any form of trousers or be-shorted trousers
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I do take my hand out my pocket if I know there'll be people just in case my hand has got sweaty or too warm
But since I dont meet people anymore I'm golden
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:57, Reply)
sticky hanky

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 May 2013, 10:59, Reply)

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